to ask for your help?

[HaloWings]

I'm a sufferer of general anxiety disorder and social anxiety. I find my commute difficult as it is but am on anti anxiety medication as well as beta blockers to help. This is due to a trauma I went through in 2014 and I am still mending myself.

I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant and am at a very busy train station currently. Two of my trains have been cancelled which means that I will likely have to stand on the next one. Thing is I have SPD (only mild but it's painful) and really can't bare the idea of standing on a moving train for over an hour.

Can anyone please give me some words of wisdom re asking people to move? Yes, it's easy for some people but having suffered from severe anxiety for the past 4 years, I struggle with these little things.

AIBU to ask for your advice and reassurance that it is ok for me to ask someone for their seat, if they don't in fact have a disability themselves? Of course I understand that some disabilities are invisible and would always take this in to account.

Try saying, to the air, not to anyone directly, "I'm so sorry but I'm preganant and in pain - would anyone kindly be prepared to let me sit down?"

Always worked for me!

Thanks @Neverender - I worry too much. I am showing but have a baggy dress on so you can't tell. I just worry about eye rolling and people looking at me as if I don't really need the seat. All part of social anxiety.

I would definitely give you my seat if you asked. No eye-rolling here. If anybody rolls their eyes (which they won’t) they’re a dick.

Thanks @LeChatDeNuit - that makes me feel better! I hate being a nuisance to people. Even if it is justified! People are so grumpy on public transport.

I would give you my seat... keep faith that there are more kind people out there than otherwise. X

If you feel you can’t ask, go and find a member of staff. They will sort it.

I was going to suggest member of staff too. They can help you get on if it gets really really busy.

One hand under your bump and one on your back and sigh before you say it - good luck!

What a disaster! Mustered up some courage and asked someone if I could have their seat. It was so busy I was stuck in the aisle so had no choice but to ask a specific girl. She said 'well I'm pregnant too' and her friend said 'so am I' and they're both now sat giggling about it. Thought it would be ok because she smiled at me, pretty sure neither of them are pregnant. Nobody helping, everyone just looking at me, stuck stood up in the f**king aisle. People are assholes. Hoping someone gets off at the next stop.

Ask the whole carriage. Just take a deep breath and do it.

That's just awful. They are CF's
I can't believe no one has moved for you. I have been known to shame people into moving. Not for me but for elderly people or pregnant ladies. If you see a conductor ask him if he can find you a seat

Bloody heck cupofcake that's unpleasant. Nasty feckers. Odds are now in your favour, surely ( actually no idea about odds)
I bet aonwbidy else would do it . Ask while carriage. In general to the air.
I'd give you my seat .

And own it. I bet you could do this if you could see someone else needing a seat.
Sorry you're feeling crap. You'll be home soon.

It's a shame you don't have all-day "morning" sickness like I did - that would teach them !
I hope you get a seat soon

I have a seat now but had to wait for someone to get off. Feeling disappointed with humanity today.

Halo that's really rubbish. I think you've been very unlucky - most people are decent about this kind of thing.

I'm a big supporter of equal rights however, from what I've seen, a man is much more likely to give you a seat that a woman is.

To keep your faith, months ago me and DH were on a crowded train coming home from a rugby match. There were no spare seats and lots of drunken behaviour happening.
A lady got on, shuffled about uncomfortably before approaching a woman and asking if she was going to be on the train long as she was pregnant and aching and would have the seat when it was empty.
A young (16ish year old) lad practically jumped out of his seat and told her to sit down which suddenly became a very British "oh no, you sit, I'll stand, here, have my seat" argument between about 7 people.
Lady looked very embarrassed but relieved and took a seat. 'Twas lovely to see.

In future, as pp said, put a hand on the bottom of your back and one on your stomach so your bump is obvious.

I hope you're home now

HaloWings glad you got a seat, those two girls sounded vile.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt erm, unpleasant, how? your problem is what exactly???

Thanks all. I'm home now!

@Cupofcake I couldn't work out what was unpleasant about your comment either. I wouldn't worry!

I think the comment to @Cupofcake might have been mistaken identity and the poster meant to tag you @HaloWings?

Agree with ilklboo I think poster was saying girls were horrible accidentally tagged wrong person.

things havent changed then, when i was pregnant with my oldest lad 45 years ago i used to have to stand up all the way from London Bridge to East croydon, no one would offer a seat, the only time i got one was when i fainted on the train and it was a lady who gave me her seat

Ah, that makes more sense.

I just remember feeling very vulnerable and found I couldn't ask individuals as I had a couple of occasions when people just turned away. I took to asking the whole carriage.

just remember. at some point those 2 idiots will probably be pregnant. what you give out you get back x

You were very unlucky to share the carriage with a shower of shit. I, on many occasion have given up my seat to the elderly, mothers holding children and pregnant women. It's just a matter of manners, isn't it?

Thank you iklboo, that is exactly what I did.
Apologies cupofcake and halowings i totally muddled your names. That'll learn me to not cook tea whilst mumsnetting.