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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs in cars

97 replies

Grumpybearblue · 05/06/2018 15:42

This was were they being unreasonable.

Just getting ds and shopping into car in tesco. Man parked next to me was lingering. He was early 60s.
Two woman of around the same age get out their car and start walking in my direction towards the shop.

Man walks over and starts shouting about them leaving the dog in the car. The woman says the cars in the shade so it's fine. He continues to have a go at her. She then starts dancing and singing nosey parker.

Now, he wasn't that close to them so although he was shouting it wasn't in their faces.

I'm a bit on the fence. He's right the dog shouldn't be left in the car. I've never once left my dog in the car regardless of the weather. It would be distressing for him and he's an intact pedigree so I'd worry he'd be nicked.
But it made me feel uncomfortable that a man was shouting at a woman and he didn't actually know how long she was going to be, it wasn't really any of his business.

So what do you think. Should he have stepped in to stick up for the dog. Or assumed the woman was not leaving the dog for long and kept out of it.

Just to add, it is a big tesco and she did go on to get a trolly. She also parked in parent and child so the car was in the 'shade'. It was also hot but cloudy today where I was.

The man then took pictures of the dog in the car. So guess he's going to report or publicly shame her.

OP posts:
missbattenburg · 05/06/2018 17:02

Dogs do die in hot cars but this man (presumably) had no way of knowing if it was a hot car.

Cars now can be left with a/c running even with engine off and doors locked. You can also have mobile phone alerts if the car goes above certain temps. With self check outs, you can be in and out of Tesco quicker than paying for petrol - depending on what you are stopping for.

I have left mine on occasion. Before doing so I have spent the journey chilling the car down to a very low temp, have parked firmly under trees, have checked the outside temps are 20c or lower and have been in and out the shop in less then 10 minutes (timed). If someone shouted at me in public for that, they would get a very firm F**K OFF.

CaptainCabinets · 05/06/2018 17:04

I’m just Hmm that the thing you’re most upset about is that a man shouted at a woman Confused

A woman who was entirely in the wrong!

missbattenburg · 05/06/2018 17:06

Just saw the bit about a trolley... that does rather suggest this was more that a quick pop in and out!

Rightsaidmabel · 05/06/2018 17:11

Have a wee look at this ,a veterinary surgeon puts the escalating temp. to the test with 4 nicely cracked open windows

OK so the starting temp is high, but why not give it a test yourself, then come back and say :Nah,it's fine.....

"I'm sure my dog will be fine?" On what basis do you make this assumption? Got away with it so far ?

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/06/2018 17:12

We have a Saint Bernard who overheats easily, and our car has a customised cool boot for him. So sometimes we get some proper looks for putting him in the car when it’s hot... I always say one day somebody is going to put our window through without realising!

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 05/06/2018 17:14

Frantically, you might want to put a notice or something on the car, otherwise someone might well smash it.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 05/06/2018 17:15

I'm amazed that in 2018 people still think this is ok! I don't care if you are in the shade or you left the windows open, I don't even care if you have some fancy app. The fact is dogs die in cars, they get hot inside very quickly even on cloudy days. No-one needs to take their dog with them when they do a big food shop, leave them at home.

upsideup · 05/06/2018 17:17

See this is a perfect example of how 'things are going to far' which I hate, I hate it when people say that but unfortunately it is absolutely true. Despite being the only one in the wrong here somehow she is still seen as the victim just because she is a woman and just because hes a man somehow this has to end up being his fault. You are worried about a man shouting at the woman for locking a dog in her car more than the woman actually locking the dog in her car.
You said in your OP he wasnt close to them or shouting in their faces so wasnt shouting to scare them, he kept his distance so probably had to speak at a reasonable volume to be heard and was actually being kind to give them a second chance to make the right decision before he reported them.

Original poster
Grumpybearblue · 05/06/2018 17:20

I don't think she has any fancy cooling system it was an oldish civic I think.

There is so much in the news about not leaving dogs in cars in the summer I don't think there is any real excuse to do it. As said I've never left my dog in the car. If I need to go to the shop I drop him home first.

But the man shouting at her made him seem as bad as her and meant she wasn't really going to listen to what he said anyway. And as people have said he didn't know the situation, she could have cooled the car right down and was only popping in for ten mins - maybe she was buying somthing heavy which was why she got the trolley.

OP posts:
Original poster
Grumpybearblue · 05/06/2018 17:25

upsideup

I don't think he was being kind. He was pretty pissed off at her and although not invading her personal space there was an angry expression and a lot of arm waving. It was uncomfortable to watch.

Although I agree she shouldn't have left the dog, he kinda lost the moral high ground by the way he confronted her. Although she did then make herself look mental with the nosey Parker song.

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 05/06/2018 17:28

he kinda lost the moral high ground by the way he confronted her.

There is no moral high ground though. He was in the right and she was wrong, I doubt you would have even thought twice if a women had done the same as him, shouting and arm waving included. You are seeing an issue because he is a man, the only issue you need to see is that 2 people were leaving a dog in a car in June and another person spoke up to defend the dog. You don't need to include their genders as it really doesn't make a difference.

ICantCopeAnymore · 05/06/2018 17:31

Any car from now until probably October is going to be a car that is too hot to leave a dog in.

The man was right, I'm glad he shouted. I hope he shames her.

mimibunz · 05/06/2018 17:34

Dogs die in hot cars but it’s best to ‘educate’ not ‘alienate’. He could have politely approached the woman and said, ‘I know it’s cloudy today but the temperature is X and the inside of your car will be Y in 10 minutes. Isn’t that crazy? I’m happy to watch your dog until you return.’

Springersrock · 05/06/2018 17:35

Someone shouted at me for leaving my dog in the car last week. Really aggressive, finger wagging shouting.

I had stopped to post a letter in the post box a few yards away. I was only going to be a couple of minutes. He wouldn’t let me speak though, every time I tried to explain he shouted me down and started taking photos of my car.

I’m glad people are taking the warning more seriously, but shouting and behaving like that is just ridiculous

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 05/06/2018 17:42

but it’s best to ‘educate’ not ‘alienate’.

Nope sorry not looking to be rude but if an adult driving a car who owns a dog does not already know that dogs die in hot cars then no amount of educating them is going to work the message has been around for decades!

upsideup · 05/06/2018 17:47

I’m happy to watch your dog until you return.’

What? Why should he have offered to stand and watch her dog for her?

sonjadog · 05/06/2018 17:58

Yes, like anyone is just going to give their dog to a stranger like that...

Slartybartfast · 05/06/2018 18:03

God what is the world coming to with all this shouting and general nosyness

Slartybartfast · 05/06/2018 18:03

Glad it hasn't happened to me

maxthemartian · 05/06/2018 18:13

Fucksake. On Sunday some clown left their dog to boil in their car at my nearby Asda. Police were called. I was just wondering who, after DECADES of stressing the dangers, still does this.
Now I know.

maxthemartian · 05/06/2018 18:14

It's not noseyness, dogs die in these circumstances.

ForalltheSaints · 05/06/2018 19:23

Calling the police would have been reasonable. Going into the store and getting customer service to make an announcement perhaps, and persuading the store not to serve the person until the dog is safe (and shaming the store if they refused).

If you endanger other humans (and animals) by drink driving you are rightly banned from driving upon conviction. Maybe we should have a simple law that you cannot leave an animal in an unattended vehicle for more than a set time, regardless of shade, temperature etc. If you break this simple law, the penalty should be a driving ban.

MissGiddyPants · 05/06/2018 19:30

I think some of you need to chill out. I agree we have had some unseasonably hot weather recently but for most of the year, in the U.K, Dogs are fine to be left in cars for short periods.

oblada · 05/06/2018 19:31

Depends on the weather surely. My dog is perfectly content waiting in the car for various reasons. He's actually much happier there than waiting at home in some situations. In the winter I don't give it a seconds thoughts. In summer it is different of course and if it's hot I won't do it. Today here it's cool and cloudy so it wouldn't have been an issue. Some common sense really.

sonjadog · 05/06/2018 19:33

Yep. Really, use common sense. I think it is great that people are getting more aware of the issue, especially about cars getting hot in the shade, but a blanket ban on dogs left in cars no matter what temperature is ridiculous.