AIBU TO WALK OUT ON A GOOD FREIND OF 5YEARS......

[QueenieBae123]

Freind and I have dc both 8 years old, with 6 months between them. Never fallen out before, we are very close like sisters, i look after her dc and she will look after mine. We both dont have families near, so heavily rely on each other for all support. She is a laid back parent.

Both our DC are getting bullied in the streets where we live, we live on the same street. 2 days ago, my son comes home devasted that my freind's dc and his other freind took his bike invetion off him and threw it in someones garden. My dc is getting assessments in school for ASD, and is known to have emotional tumoil. I knew how much this bike invention meant to him, so i took him out to see the other childs parent first (as I dont believe in disciplining other peoples dc). Conversation with other parent i have never met before went well, she apologised and said she will reprimand her dc.

I go to my freind's house to have the same conversation expecting sympathy. I find out that the other bully is in her house upstairs playing with her dc. Apparantly, she knew what happened, asked them to come in so she could keep an eye on them. When I express my disappointment that she is housing the bully and leaving my son running down the street in tears and she doesnt even text me to let me know. She says "My son is 8 years old and he can choose who he want to play with". With my son being on the spectrum, he struggles with new freindships, my freind knows this...... He has kept same freinds from when he was 3yrs old because their mums are my freinds.

At this point, i cannot believe the way this conversation is going, so i tell her that i cannot continue with this, as she knows that my son struggles with freindships, I value and nature his freindships obviously a view not shared by her. And I walk out.....

We havent spoken since, it has been 3 days. AIBU to walk out on a good freindship because of this or do i need to apologise for questioning her parenting skills? She is a Social Worker btw. Her reasons are that I am questioning the way she handled the children's conflict. For me, I think she should've sent the bully home not keep him in her house whle my son went home crying.

Sorry for long post.... dont want to drip feed, thanks if you got here.

I don't think the bullying situation was handled very well by your friend. If she had seen the bullying and that your DC was going home crying she should have walked home with your DC and given you an account of what had happened.

The fact that she is a social worker does not mean that she works with children she could be working in any area.

I wouldn't be in a hurry to see a friend like her tbh.
She obviously has no loyalty to you and certainly not to your dc. How can you trust her to watch them again?

What is a bike invention?

I would think she'd go after a crying child in the street. Or at least text his mother.

Have you mentioned that to her?

Bike invention is "He has flattened a plastic water bottle, he places it under his wheels. When he rides his bike, the bottle and tyre makes a friction sound like a motor bike. he was so thrilled with it all weekend"

Is there a possibility she knows or suspects something about the other child and doesn't want to tell you? Maybe she was de-escalating and made an excuse rather than tell you the details.

I think you'd be overreacting to dump the whole friendship over this without any further discussion, but equally I think you should talk to each other.

@kissthealderman the other boy bullys both mine and her child. we have previously discussed this. Her son plays with the bullys to be accepted, with my my son's ASD, he keeps away from them. If the other child is with the bully, my dc will come back home or they just toture him.

I would be very disappointed with this friend, she should have come to you to apologise, or at last made her ds apologise to your ds for throwing his invention away. By having the other boy responsible for this in her house, she is supporting the bullying behaviour. I don't know if I could go forward with this friendship, when she is not showing any remorse or responsibility. If I were in her shoes, I would be so angry with ds, I would apologise to you, and make ds apologise to your ds. It has nothing to do with who her son want's to play with, him and this boy were mean to your ds.