To refuse to view this house?

[NapQueen]

We are due to go on the market. We need a 3rd bedroom but we also need to stay within the small catchment area of the primary dc1 is at so dc2 will get in.

We love the area so that is good, close to everything we need and great transport links. We have a low budget but should get what we need within that on a street we like.

Dh is checking Rightmove daily like me, but is now looking further afield. Way outside catchment area, no metro line (one car household), hourly buses etc. The areas he is looking at are not great, but also entirely not practical. He is being swayed by the fact that we get "so much more for our money" without wondering why that is.

Aibu to refuse to view any houses that are outside of the school catchment? We rely on childminder to do school runs and am not uprooting dc1 and finding a new childminder just to get a house which is cheap for a reason?

Ive suggested we hold off 18m, get dc2 into the school and started, then look to widening our search area to some further out areas we both like? He "wants to see what our money would get us elsewhere" which in theory I understand. But why look at a house I am not prepared to move to?

Get him to try out the journeys you would have to make from these lovely big houses. Also, walk around at about 8pm on a sunny evening.

I think your compromise is a good one, but you'd still need to make sure anywhere further away was practical location and transport wise. Our local school prioritises siblings would you not fall into that category regardless of living out of catchment?

See as many houses as you can to get a clear idea of what you like. You might surprise yourself with what you like and if you do see something you don't like for whatever reason you have a better argument to say no with.

You sound, like many couples, as though you have different priorities for a new home. There's no harm in clearly stating what will come first for you and why. He wants more space above all but you want your current lifestyle. Nothing wrong with either point of view.

Im definelty prepared to compromise on the style of the house etc even though I have preferences. I have said I will view all 3+ bed properties within the catchement area and within a reasonable range of our budget.

But there are areas I really wont consider and he gets drawn to them because he can have a semi detatched house with a garden for 100k. Because its next door to a crack den or opposite a manky pub with the police always there seems irrelevant to him.

Why is he in a hurry?

Is he serious about the houses he looks at or is he window shopping?

I do this all the time. I keep looking at cars even though it will be 2 to 3 years before we change my car. I like to look t all options, no matter how outlandish, so I have as much information as possible and when it does come to making a decision, I know I've properly considered all available options.

Are you in an area where schools are over-subscribed? If so, then it seems reasonable to wait until younger child has a place or you risk having children in two schools or having to move schools.

He is panicking that we will list ours and then not find anything. He doesnt seem to grasp that the whole selling process can (and will!) take a while. Even if we agree a sale within a week of listing.

My main priority is getting dc2 into the school. Second to that is the location. I suppose they are tied. However once dc2 is in school I am happy to widen my location preferences.

I'd go and look at it, personally. Then he'll see the crack den (etc) with his own eyes and realise why it's so cheap. We're trying to buy at the moment and I'm the same as your husband - I get all excited about the very cheap places and I need to see them in person and establish that the distance/crack den etc is a dealbreaker before I can move on. Sorry.

Take your time, basically until you have an offer on your property you are not even in a position to view any.

I have to admit to having the same sort of thought process as your DH when house hunting, though am quickly swayed by actually visiting the outside of the houses in question. Though still feel slightly miffed that we could get more for our money somewhere else. I do, every now and again, do some fantasy house hunting on line in a favourite location of mine, we don't even live in the same country anymore, let alone the same county!!!

Do you need to move? Have you thought about extending instead? Loft conversion?

You could just initially drive past the houses he is looking at - might show him why they are cheaper. My DH is like this though I give a list of essentials like good school within 1 mile, shop within 1 mile which cuts out a lot of his ideas. He does this with hotels too though he booked a couple of his then decided he's terrible at it so that's solved that one

Just let him get on with it. And then, as you've said, state your reasons for refusing to view and just say...

no.

Definetly no extension options. Ground floor flat.

OP are you sure there is a catchment area you have to be within? The admissions for our local primary school state 'An applicant with a sibling on roll at the time of admission', which has higher priority than the next category for admission, which is 'children for whom the school is the nearest to their home address.' So, once you've got a child in, you don't need to be near the school anymore - you're pretty much guaranteed a place for a sibling.

Let him go and look at as many houses as he likes on his own. My DH can be like this but suddenly gets cold feet if I make him do all the legwork - you never know he might find your dream house and location without you having to put any effort in.

On a practical level I think it is easier to think about house moving once the DC are settled at school - if it is a local move - and what you want may also change then because they are less home based and growing up.

At ours in all in catchment first then siblings out of catchment (so don't get in though sometimes do on appeal) but worth checking.

Tell him that there are some really good value homes in Detroit. And I mean a BARGAIN! Commute might be bit of a problem, and you'd need to learn how to fire a gun.

You need to sit down and agree criteria. Or do as you suggest. Wait.

Although you could let him enjoy himself with some 'house porn'. As long as you don't have to view them.

Although it feels like a time wasting exercise for everyone involved, we viewed quite a few houses just to 'rule them out'.

Often we were right. Yes, much cheaper and bigger, but area is terrible, commute would be a nightmare etc etc.

Occasionally we were proven wrong and we were glad we looked.

Is sibling in the school further up the lsit of entry criteria than the CATCHMENT?

Check the school's admission criteria. Usually a sibling connection takes priority over distance so you wouldn't need to live within the catchment area to get DC2 in.

Sorry about the caps I wasn't shouting or making a point

You can look at one to see if you might be swayed, and to point out drawbacks irl. You cant make an offer till you know what yours will fetch.