To get upset at these comments?

[ChurlishMay]

I'm going through an unwanted divorce at the moment. I still struggle on my own and the fact that I haven't got children (yet?) is difficult for me.

Recently, I have had lots of people telling me how lucky I am. I seem to have become the one everyone whinges to about their shit/lazy/useless husbands and how overrated it is to have children. Now I know that not everything is rosy with children/family but I would love to be up all night with a sick child if it meant I had a child.

I find myself getting really frustrated with this and have even snapped at someone recently who told me that 'children are more hassle than they are worth' - she was pregnant ffs.

Is this an attempt to make me feel better? If so, it's really not working.

I think it is probably well intended but still very insensitive. Rather than honesty acknowledging your pain and loss, it's a transparently untrue pretence that they things they know you want and that they have are actually terrible.

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time and I hope this is the start of much better things for you

They think they mean well but my god it's bloody insensitive! Just like other comments like, 'sorry about your divorce but at least there's no children involved'... as if that makes it any easier!

They're full of shit

Sorry OP
I do think, as previous posters have said, that it is well intentioned - but it's pretty ignorant and lousy, no matter how well meaning.

I think a reasonable response would be: "No, I'm not lucky, I'm going through a really shit time and I would dearly love to have children actually, don't be so f@!£ing patronising."

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I struggled with relationships for various reasons when I was younger so you remind me of those feelings. I only met my partner at 37, then it took years for us to settle down together because he's a hilarious and sweet manchild, so commitment took him by surprise. I'd always hoped to have children but by then I resigned myself that I had lost my chance to be a mum. And yet it's so true that sometimes it feels darkest before the dawn. The first month we tried I got pregnant. Now my noisy baby woke me up every two hours last night, but it's just a growth spurt and he means the whole world to us. I can't imagine ever telling somebody they're lucky not to have children, what utter shit; he made us a family, he makes us smile every day and he makes me ache with love. When you're struggling with pregnancy pains or a wide awake grinning/ shouting baby at 5am, you'll remember this time and you'll be glad you can appreciate that little life all the more for the pain you had on your journey. Stay strong for now, but gently start that awful process of kissing the annoying frogs again to work out who you want to spend your life with. You only need to meet one man who makes you happy; we live in a world of billions, so play the odds and you will find him. It might not be today nor even this year, but I hope it's soon for you and I hope you get your chance to be a mum in due course. It's not too late, have faith.

Unfortunately people can be insensitive bellends. Well intentioned or not, it’s an incredibly tactless thing to say.

Yanbu op and I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time

I agree it's probably a massively misguided attempt to make you feel better. I would be very straight that it upsets you and you'd rather not have to listen to it.

Thank you, everyone. I was wondering whether I am just being too sensitive. I usually just nod, then walk away and feel rubbish so I might try to be a bit more straight that I don't like it next time it happens.

I did have the 'sorry about your divorce but at least there's no children involved' comment too another pp has mentioned.

I will put myself back out there eventually and I know I haven't got any time to lose (I'm 36 this year) but I'm not quite there yet.