To be hurt by this (I realise how pathetic this is)

[namechangemaestro]

Just for the record, I feel so ridiculous that I'm even posting this, and just trying to figure out why I'm feeling so insecure about it.
I have a friend, we'll call her Liz. Liz and I have been really close for about 10 years. The last 2 she has lived in Canada and has just come back to visit for a few weeks. Since she's been gone I've had a baby, and so things have changed a lot for me, but I was counting down to her coming back and her meeting my DD etc.
I also have another friend, we'll call her Claire. Claire and I went to school together and have been friends for 18 years, although we've had our ups and downs. She can be very spoilt and moody / argumentative. Nonetheless we have stuck out our friendship and are good friends.

A year ago Claire went travelling to Canada, and I put her in touch with Liz so she would know someone over there when she arrived, prior to this they had only met once or twice through me (birthdays etc).

Anyway, they are both back in the UK now - Claire for good, Liz just for a few weeks.
As much as Claire is a good friend, it is Liz that I've been really excited to see, as she's been gone much longer, has never met DD and we are much closer.
Since she's been back, Claire has been trying to "book in" as many things as she can with her, and hasn't even let me know half the time. Liz has invited me to a few of them, but the fact Claire has actively not let me know makes me feel very weird.
Claire keeps putting loads of pictures of them up on social media with captions like "don't leave me, stay in the UK" etc etc, and on Liz's birthday did this huge over the top post to say happy birthday to her "Canadian bestie" with a ridiculous amount of photos of them from being over there.

I feel pathetic to be bothered by this. I'm 31 for God's sake! I feel like a teenager (but even then I don't think I ever felt this much of a sad case).
Claire knows how much I've been looking forward to seeing Liz after two years (they've just spent a year socialising together), so to knowingly arrange events and not invite me, I feel is quite sly and can't help feeling she's intentionally trying to leave me out.
AIBU to feel hurt by this?! And how can I pull myself together and stop being so irrational??

It'll be much easier for you if you just accept Claire is a control freak who doesn't want to "share" Liz, and that if you want to see people- then you need to ring them up and make your own plans.

I do sympathise BTW. I know a "Claire" too.

I agree with Elephant. Just call her out and see what she says?? She may not be doing it intentionally and if you point it out she may start to include you

How does Liz respond to the FB posts? Is she just as effusive?

You're having an entirely understandable human reaction. Even if unreasonable, I totally get it.

Perhaps it's being a new mum that's left me feeling a bit insecure. I feel like my friendship circle has diminished abit since having DD and maybe I pinned too much on Liz coming back, and therefore feel let down?
I agree on the social media thing - it's one of the reasons I deleted it years ago, maybe I should have a break again.

Oh you'll be fine OP, Claire sounds a bit of a desperado. Life moves on, you've got a baby daughter now, just carry on as you did before, and enjoy your time with Liz.

If Liz is only in UK for a few weeks, surely both you & Claire want to see her as much as possible before she returns?

If Liz is favouring Claire then that's a problem, if you are managing to see her when you want then surely it's all OK & what Liz/Claire do outside of that time is not your concern?

If Liz knows that you & Claire are friends then isn't she as much to blame for not including you?

YANBU, I’d be hurt too.

Separate the two things out though: Liz is still your friend and you get to see her. This is good :)

The other issue is Claire/Wendy: I’ve known a few people like her and I pity them as they’re so desperate to not only have ‘a bestie’ but for the world to know about it. They’re exhausting, leave her to it. The relationship will probably run its course.

namechange I remember my DSIS had two friends to visit when her DD was tiny. She thought they were both good friends to her and yet the dynamic felt odd. When they left, she called me because she was so upset at the feeling she was being shut out. Your post reminded me of her experience.
Having a baby changes everything and it takes time to slot all the different bits of life back into place. They may not return to the same place but you'll find how it all clicks together again including these friendships.

YANBU. Claire is being a bit of a one. Whilst you probably can't expect to be invited to every meet up they have, it's a bit rum to exclude you. Call her on it flat out. Why do you keep planning things with Liz and not inviting me? See what she says. I'm guessing it will be something about the baby perhaps they don't think you will be free to come out. It might save the friendship, or it might make it clear to you that's she's not being such a friend. Try not to get upset about it. It's perfectly normal tho as life is very changeable for you at the moment, it will all settle down. Good luck.

Claire is someone who wants everyone to be her best friend, but probably doesn't have anyone who is particularly close. She has also lost alot of friends in the last 5 years because of her mood swings and snappiness with people.

This

as if she's trying to prove how close they are
Maybe she's jealous of your friendship with Liz and is trying to convince you or herself that she has a great relationship with Liz too? Or maybe she feels like her friendship with you suffered when Liz came along & so this is her getting back at you consciously or subconsciously?
Either way, as long as Liz is still wanting to spend with you, which she obviously does, it doesn't matter what Claire is doing. Leave her to it and focus on Liz.

Friendship is about quality and not quantity and each one is unique and special ....rise above it. If you want to see Liz do a spa or something. Don't scrap over a friend.

I know a Claire too. She’s always letting me know how close she is to my equivalent Liz.

It has been hurtful in the past but thankfully I’ve found I can sidestep that and maintain my own separate friendship with Liz, and that works fine. I don’t spend much time with Claire anymore and that suits me.

My mother always says, if you have to plaster it all over social media to show other people how good something is, it's probably not all that great.

On that note, I don't blame you for feeling hurt, I think most people would in your situation. It sounds like Claire might be jealous of your closeness with Liz and wants to muscle in on the two of you - trying to exclude you in the process. I would probably re-evaluate your friendship with Claire and focus on making up for lost time with Liz, one-on-one.

Yes, I think what this whole thing has done, is make me realise that actually I don't really like Claire that much. If it was another of my friends spending time with Liz I really don't think it would bother me in the same way.
Now to try and pull back from that friendship a bit.

I think you need to call Claire out on this:

'Hi Claire, why didn't you let me know about getting together with Liz? You know how much I've been looking forward to seeing her. It feels like you're shuitting me out, which is hurtful'

and see what her reaction is.

I also know a Claire, and a Liz. I had a similar situation - very friendly with Liz, would have said she was my closest friend. Introduced her to Claire. Same outcome as you. I called Claire out on it, and asked Liz about it too. Claire successfully made me look like the paranoid one, and I no longer see either of them. It made it difficult with a whole group of friends, and it took a long time to get over. LIz eventually saw through Claire, and they are no longer friends - but by then it was too late for the friendship with Liz to recover.

I would just pull back from the friendship with Claire. Block her on FB so you don't see her posts. Maintain your friendship with Liz completely separately.

Wouldn't Claire just say that she now has her own friendship with Liz & she wants to see her as much as possible before she goes back?