AIBU to want to raise a complaint about midwives?

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To explain, 34 weeks into second pregnancy. Hospital appointment yesterday at 11am for extra monitoring due to worries with growth. We were not seen until 2pm due to backlog, blood clinic was rammed, all that you’d expect of course and we were a little flustered with a cross, bored toddler and the worry that our LO isn’t thriving as he should.

We were told anyway that he has declined in weight again anyway and we need to prepare for early intervention; so twice weekly heart monitoring and steroid injections. Bit of a panic due to PND based on really traumatic labour with first.

Husband went home with LO while I was on tracing to check heartbeat as she had already been there all day and it was unfair. He was going to pick me and my sister up when we were done.

We were put in an assessment unit and five minutes into my trace a midwife came in and started a screaming argument with the head midwife who was overseeing my care. It got very heated and went on and on, really shouting at one another about laziness, no support and work ethic of the head midwife. Eventually the first midwife walked away still shouting and the head midwife started to really cry, shouting that she couldn’t handle the situation and was going home - and she left. My sister and I were sat in the bay, I was was hooked up to the trace machine and was waiting my first steroid injection. Someone did realise I was there after an hour but it was a really awful situation to end up in and felt - I don’t know - unprofessional of them? I understand that people have conflict but maybe not in front of patients who are likely there due to worries in their pregnancy?

WIBU to have a word with someone to express this? I’m already shitting myself about health of this LO and labour. I don’t like going into it with this staff drama hanging over me. On the flip side, I can appreciate my anxiety may well make me focus on this row so if I shouldn’t say anything, so be it!

I agree that you should put in a note about the row. Not the cause of it, as that's between the staff, but that they had a highly unprofessional row in front of you and your sister, and then left you unattended for an hour without letting anyone know that you were there.
That's extremely poor practice and they should, rightly, be pulled up for it.

You do t know how or why they’d reached that point, and it isn’t for you to try and figure that out or put explanations in place - that is for the team investigating.

Absolutely this. I can't believe after all the information in the OP, people are putting the responsibility on HER to determine or mitigate the problems of the NHS.

I conducted a disciplinary hearing yesterday (not NHS), and had to bite back my frustration at the lack of evidence of years of misconduct and unraised grievances that people suddenly wanted to take into account. I've only recently joined the organisation, and people get bogged down with 'how things are' or 'how so and so behaves'.

To properly manage people, their behaviour, workload and capabilities MUST be monitored, recorded, supported and when necessary, disciplined too. That's as much to their benefit as anyone else's.

I used to be an overworked junior doc, years of 100 hour weeks, chronic sleep deprivation, minimal supervision and massive stress. If I’d ever been so unprofessional as to have a shouting match in front of a patient, I could have been suspended.
It doesn’t matter what is going on in terms of workload or stress, one has to be a professional- it is NOT an option to crack up in front of a patient. Those midwives could have gone and yelled at each other in the coffee room or the loos - it is completely unacceptable to do that in a clinical area, within earshot of a patient. It calls in question their fitness to practice, and could result in a disciplinary hearing.
Yes of course make a formal complaint, OP, and if there is a different and better hospital in your area, I’d rebook your delivery there.
Your present one does not inspire confidence, staff morale is obviously terrible and they are not meeting even basic professional behaviour standards. God knows what their clinical care would be like in an emergency.

Definitely unprofessional no matter what the rights or wrongs.
Mobile phones are used for all sorts of apps in healthcare including drug dosages for example so do not automatically assume that they are on social media wasting time(though they may be).
Good luck with your pregnancy OP.

They sound like they are at breaking point but really there is no excuse for behaviour like that.

OP hope all is well with your LO and the labour/delivery goes smoothly, but can I ask why you brought an extra 3 people with you to the appointment? This is a medical appointment, not a family day trip. This is one of the reasons that waiting rooms (in particular maternity ones) do not have enough seating for patients.

My sister is here for a short visit from overseas as I said. I usually go alone or have my husband there but LO at home with a babysitter. I absolutely do not treat any medical appointments like a family day out - let’s face it, even if I wanted to, waiting for as long as we did (with sister and husband sat on the floor not taking up seat space) would not have been a fun outing if we had chosen it!
As it happens I was glad my sister was there as she remained with me while I was monitored. My LO went home with DH as had missed her nap, was bored and grizzly
and wanted her dinner. Had my sister not been there I would have been alone, stressed and panicking and left to deal with the fallout of the argument on my own which to be honest would have really stressed me out on top of everything else. I have PND that began as a result of a very traumatic labour with the first and I have found going into this pregnancy (unplanned but wanted) quite difficult.

I don’t want to make a complaint as such I don’t think but I have to go back later for my second steroid injection so may just ask for a quick word with the consultant midwife in the hopes that it does help them. I don’t understand the stress they are under as I have no experience of it myself but I can see the pressure and strain with the sheer armount of patients they see. It must be so hard and I do not wish to add to that but equally I don’t want to have to feel this level of stress whenever I am due to go to hospital - partly my fault I know as my depression and anxiety are not their problem.

Thank you to those who offered well wishes for my pregnancy also I do appreciate it.

It WNBU to put in a complaint - it is not acceptable for staff to have a shouting match on the ward. It is not possible for you to know what stresses people are under from this snapshot of their behaviour, but it is something that needs looking into, and something that an investigation would aim to establish.

I would complain. No amount of stress etc excuses them leaving you for an hour with no one checking the monitoring. I would just complain about the shouting and leaving etc not the run up to it.
I was in hospital towards the beginning of my pregnancy, was being monitored on a ward and was due some medication. There were 2 emergencies, and staff shortages. My medication was an hour late, the head midwife came and apologised to me and told me it wouldn't happen again. That's how these things should be handled. We all know that mistakes happen and the NHS is under a lot of pressure but it's no excuse for poor behaviour and ignoring patients.

YWBU NOT to make a complaint!

Just a quick update. I sent an email to PALS and this was passed on to the head midwife who called me to tell me how sorry she was, to assure me that it was not acceptable and to offer me another appointment with her in case I felt like I did not get answers to any questions. She also assured me that this would be dealt with as something had clearly gone seriously wrong. She said that they had been aware that the midwife in charge that day had gone home but they had not been told exactly why so my email helped them to put the entire scenario into context.

I was glad of the call as it really helped reassure me that this would not happen as normal course when I went back. All I want to do is focus on my baby and doing what I can to make sure he arrives safe and well, and I feel like I can do that now.

I work in the NHS, I too am 32 weeks pregnant and also having strict monitoring. I sincerely sympathise with your situation and you have every right to complain. Yes NHS workers are underpaid and overworked, but we choose to work for the public sector because we care. At the end of the day whatever their issues were with their colleagues or work situation they had no right to lose their rags in front of a patient. It's unprofessional and damn right rude. It's not the patients fault, and even though we are all human there is a time and place for these things. Not when a pregnant lady is strapped to a monitor. Sending big hugs and hope that things do get better for you and your baby. I know it's hard but try not to let 2 silly midwives tarnish an entire profession. The next one's to come along may be wonderful!

Definitely complain as the way I see it there are several issues here. The shouting in front of you was unprofessional however the fact that one midwife walked out off duty and left you with no supervision at all during an already worrying time is something of a great concern.

That’s a great outcome :)

Thanks for coming back to update. Glad you feel better.