When someone gives a gift

10 replies

ElleWoods111 · 05/06/2018 00:46

Is it yours to keep, just wondering about the etiquette?

Several years ago my friend gave me something for my daughter and now wants it back. I can't go into many details as scared it will be seen or end up in the bloody Fail!

She didn't specify it was to be only borrowed and my daughter doesn't want to give it up saying she thought it was hers now.

She wants it back for her youngest DD. AIBU? What is the right thing to do here?!!

OP posts:

Eliza9917 · 05/06/2018 00:58

If it was a gift then the giver can't ask for it back.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2018 01:02

Has it got sentimental feelings attached, she gave it your daughter thinking she'd never have one of her own, family heirloom etc?

Original poster

ElleWoods111 · 05/06/2018 01:05

Thanks Eliza that's what I thought too.

No sentimental value, hard to explain but kind of collectible - think Match Attax cards, that type of thing. My DD really is into them at the mo and gets attached to her possessions. Possible ASD but not diagnosed yet.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2018 01:08

Have they gone up in value?

Original poster

ElleWoods111 · 05/06/2018 01:11

It's possible but she would never want to sell them, she gets really upset about the thought of giving her things away. So sorry I'm being so vague I know it's annoying!

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2018 01:40

No I wondered if friend wanted them back because they were now valuable.

I think you just have to tell her directly - you have them as a gift, that's how they were received and you can't simply ask for a gift back

lifeisaboutcreatingyourself · 05/06/2018 01:49

If you daughter has had it for years your friend can't expect it back that's is ridiculous

LilMadAgain · 05/06/2018 01:50

Sounds like you have a decision to make op. Is your friend causing a problem or has she only hinted that her child wants the item back? You may have to give up your friendship to keep your child happy, tbf if it was a gift that should be the end of it.

MinorRSole · 05/06/2018 07:37

You don't take a gift back off a child, that's just mean.

Pikehau · 05/06/2018 07:43

I gave my collection of sylvanian families to our best mans daughter. I now have 3 children. I would never think to ask for them back. She is now 15 so I think she might have given them away anyway.

I am a bit sad i didn’t foresee my future but it was my decision and no one else’s to be “sad” about

She is being vu

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