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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To barely remember my child's first year?

39 replies

Carouselfish · 05/06/2018 00:06

Or is this everyone? I was sleep-deprived but not unusually so, but I only remember three or four specific things and those are actions, things I did with my DD, not anything she did or what she was like, what she looked like etc. She's 3 now.
I had a friend over with their 1 year old today and she asked me whether DD did this or that at that age - I had no idea.
DM and my ExP talk about things that DD did and I just don't remember.
It's really sad actually.

OP posts:
dannydyerismydad · 05/06/2018 10:02

I remember howling all day on his first birthday because a whole year had gone and I felt I hadn't been paying attention. I felt so guilty.

I'd been there all the time but it felt like I'd missed everything.

Okaaaaay · 05/06/2018 10:04

I remember being amazing my mum couldn’t recall exact ages for potty training/solid food/sleeping the night etc. for her kids.
It was only a few years ago for me, and I have no idea when younger parents ask me now!

AhoyDelBoy · 05/06/2018 10:05

@Eighttimeseight
Flowers
What a sweet idea.

Ithinkthatsenough · 05/06/2018 10:05

YANBU... i had two in 18 months, theyr babyhood is a blur, i cant remember much apart from being tired and stressed. Then suffered a family bereavement a couple of years later and i find that time hard to remember too... maybe it’s just the way my brain copes with stress!!

LittleMissB83 · 05/06/2018 10:06

My DS is not even four months and I already struggle to remember his first days! (Apart from the birth and next few days in hospital which is vividly etched on my brain...). I started a diary when he was born and have written a little bit every day (even though it's often quite boring!), and so glad I've taken so many pictures and videos!

Fatted · 05/06/2018 10:08

I definitely feel like this with my boys. I had PND with my eldest, so his first few months were just a horrible black fog. When my youngest was born, I was looking after a 2YO and a newborn, so it was just craziness!

There's little things I do remember and I do like telling them stories about what I do remember.

But it's things like my youngest teething. I remember him getting his first teeth through because it was just before I went back to work. But then I have absolutely no recollection whatsoever of when he got the rest! I feel like he's gone from a baby to a 3YO overnight! I can vividly remember my eldest at this age and I can't quite believe youngest is at this stage already Confused

MrsJayy · 05/06/2018 10:28

I think what a pp said about highlights is a good thing to remember because the rest is just day today stuff. My eldest is nearly 26 I had PND with her for 2 years it was just fog with highlights which I did tell her. Relation of mine had a 13 month gap between her eldest then TWINS Shock she had to write stuff down for years so she remembers

Mousefunky · 05/06/2018 10:29

I had three in the space of 2.5 years and I’d say I barely remember a thing until DC3 was around 2. I was just on autopilot the whole time like a robot. Other people have reminded me of things my DC did that I totally forgot. Sad but it’s such an exhausting time.

MrsJayy · 05/06/2018 10:36

Having effectively 3 babies to care for of course it is going to be a blur.

Luisa27 · 05/06/2018 10:41

Me too OP - I think it’s because all our energy is going into feeding/nurturing so the other bits are put on the back burner

foxessocks · 05/06/2018 10:45

Yep ,agree with all of this. When I was pregnant with ds, my second dc, I started a journal just to write down what we did each day , i only write a few lines so it isn't a huge thing I have to fit into my day. When I read it back it jogs my memory a bit. But I still can't actually remember what they were really like at a certain age. I try and do videos for that but it's remembering to do it isn't it.

SheepyFun · 05/06/2018 10:46

The bits I remember with greatest clarity is when it was going wrong - DD struggled to feed at first, and then really really didn't want to wean. I know others who can remember NICU with terrifying accuracy (we were thankfully spared that). Other more 'normal' things are much more of a blur.

MrsJayy · 05/06/2018 10:50

I can remember knocking Dd1s head off an outside window sil she was 6 months old thankfully she was fine but it is still etched in my brainBlush

goose1964 · 05/06/2018 10:53

I remember my grandsons a lot better than mine, that may be because they're younger or maybe because I'm not sleep deprived

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