To not want my mum at my scan

[NeedANewNameBriefly]

So, I'm pregnant with my second. My first is 2. When I was pregnant with him I let my parents come to one of my scans and my PILs came to another, so they could all feel "involved".

This time around I don't quite feel the same about being pregnant, it was planned, but I'm struggling to feel any emotions about being pregnant and just don't even like discussing the fact I'm pregnant. This isn't the main point of my post, but perhaps a relevant part. By the way, I've started therapy in the past few weeks to deal with these feelings (or lack thereof), so hopefully it's all in hand. Though I've told no one bar my DH that I'm feeling this way and that am doing these therapy sessions

The thing is that my mum has started asking about my next scan and is essentially angling for an invite. I'm pretty sure the next time I see her she will ask outright, as I'm not taking the hint. But I just don't want her (or anyone) there with me this time, except my DH. Though I can't explain why exactly...

So AIBU/am I just being mean? Should I just suck it up and let her come or stick to my guns? In the grand scheme of thing I know it won't kill me to have her there... though I really don't want that.

Don't take her. If she asks just say you've decided to go on your own with DH this time and leave it at that.

Yanbu. Just say what you've said here, that you just want it to be you and your dh. She'll have to deal with it.

YANBU - absolutely your choice as to who you have there. Ultimately it's a medical appointment, not a family day out and lots of hospitals only allow you to take one person along for that very reason.

It's a medical appointment not entertainment for the family. I would not have anyone else there either. A friend had to have an internal examination at her dating scan - nothing amiss just baby in an awkward position! Won't you need her childcare?

It’s entirely your choice. I don’t think yabu.

I just wanted to share that I felt a bit like this when I was pregnant with my second. He was planned, we already had a 2 year old. I felt very little emotion about the pregnancy and a lot of guilt. It passed as the pregnancy progressed and now I have a beautiful little 3 month old who I have bonded with brilliantly. So don’t panic and hopefully the feelings will come soon.

Our hospital only lets one other person in for the scan, so you could tell a little fib and say the rules have been changed for health and safety, security, risk of infection reasons

Thanks all. I'm just going to stick to my guns then. And she will have to get over it. And hopefully @acquiescence I'll feel as you did and start to feel better about this whole pregnancy as time goes on...

It's a medical appointment not entertainment for the family.

Just that.

Just tell them
Hospital policies have changed.

Yes it's on X. Oh, you're free? Would you watch DC1 for us whilst DH and I go? Thank you so much!

If she wants to feel involved she could look after the older child?

YANBU sometimes you just don't want an audience at medical appointments and it's not just quite as exciting the second time around.

Just to say another one here who 2nd pregnancy was just not in to it at all. I sat at dinner with friends at 34 weeks pregnant, in tears because I was so miserable about the whole thing and just couldn't get excited or bond with baby.
However, the minute my son was put in my arms, I literally just burst with love! All my worries disappeared instantly.
I'm not saying this happened to everyone, but for me, all the sadness I felt just went.

I wasn’t asked to any of my two DD’s or DIL’s scans and didn’t expect to be. We are all very close but surely a scan is a private thing between the parents and the new baby?
Just say it’ll be just you and DH going to the scan and don’t justify it or apologise.