To ask your weight loss ideas for someone who has had mental health food issues in the past

[walkingwithmyeyeswideshut]

So bit of background I'm 5"4. Always been bigger. After Dc1 12.5 yrs ago I went up to a size 18. When he was about 8yrs old had a it of a rough time with life in general and I felt the only thing I could start to 'control' would be my weight.as was suffering anxiety and depression I calorie counted literally everything. If I had a blip and for I stance ate a choc bar. I wouldnt eat the rest of the day or the next.. If I had a large meal with friends or something, or what I considered too large. Or a take away I took laxatives.. ( no one ever knew this..and I became quite ill)
This went on for two years..i got to a size ten.. I felt good in clothes.. But I didn't overly feel good in myself.. Everyone kept saying I looked Ill, or lost too much weight.. It was always a negative comment.
I then met dp, well a very old close friend and we became a couple. .. And wow my life changed. I started to eat better,stoppedthe laxatives as was scared he'd find out or something. I got up to a size 12. Felt OK in clothes.
People told me I looked better etc.

We then ttc.. After an op and some. Meds it worked first month. Extatic.! And for once I didn't care about my size.. I didn't look pregnant.. I looked chubby. I went back to an 18

Dd is now 3 months. I'm a size 14. But I feel gigantic.. The problem is I got a little too comfy with what I was eating when pregnant and now I can't snap out of it. I want to eatb everything, but also hate how I look.
Dp is always saying how lovely I look etc and he does t care how thin or big I get, because I am me. But I hate it.
I need will power and I can't seem to get into the diet mode. But I worry ill click and bam back to not eating properly enough or taking extreme measures.

My question is. Do I join a club? Or try go alone.? Prob with clubs is dp has two. Jobs so fitting around that as one isnt set days
.
I have exercised more than ever since baby as take pram everywhere rather than faff with car. I make a point of even for a pint of milk going to the furthest shop up the biggest hill to get it. Or purposely ' forget' items shopping to have to go the next day to get them.

Example today. Glass of orange and special k for breakfast
.
Cakefor lunch (my other thread about my crap morning is why lol) but if not it would be somwthing like, sandwich or crackers,

Dinner was chicken en croute, mash, broccoli, carrots. Baby corn and peas.

I crave the carbs which I never used to before I was pregnant

Any tips would be good.

• fruit is a bit hit and miss, again a mind over matter thing. When pregnant I was so sick each time I ate fruit it's put a mental block there as I think ill be sick again.. Even tho if I do eat it I'm OK.. It takes a lot of persuading myself. '

Join overeaters anonymous. It sounds as though you have real issues related to food, restricting and using laxatives. You will get support and understanding that will help you to lose the weight and feel much better.

Look at Paul McKenna's I can make you thin book. It's essentially mindful eating but it means no foods are off limits which is good if you obsess about food.

Are you bfeeding? If you are then don’t focus on losing weight.

No not bfeeding xx

I am like you, always in a battle with food. You could try a little mental trick imagining your daughter when she is your age every time you eat . How would you want her to feel about food? What meals would you imagine her eating? You would never want her to hate the way she looks, to have thoughts about food and weight taking prime position in her mind, to the exclusion of other things. Treat yourself as you would treat your daughter. You give her nourishing milk to drink and you deserve nourishing food to eat. You want her to grow up healthy and happy but you also deserve to be healthy and happy! You care for her all day but you also deserve the upmost care. I know time can be short with a very young baby.

Perhaps write down a list of ALL your favourite meals and foods, goid and bad. Identify which are the healthiest on the list and cross out the rest. Only buy the foods left on the list. Don't let the less healthy foods into the house. If you eat meals you already favour they won't be a chore to eat, you won't feel deprived at all.
Could you eat protein-rich foods at breakfast instad of the oj and cereal bar, they are a big sugar hit which will leave you hungry sooner and cause a sugar dip a few hours later, making you crave more carbs at lunch. I have something with nuts for breakfast like nutty (low fruit) museli or peanut butter on brown toast. Don't be afraid of the fat, the protein works and you will find you will lean towards a healthier lunch. Soup for lunch is great for weightloss, fullness and satisfaction, something like minestrone or gazpacho, summer soups with lots of flavour. Make very large pot on Sunday and eat for lunch during the week. Just ideas. Your dinner sound great as it is x

Could you go swimming? The only time I ever lost weight was when I swam every weekday. I didn't have to worry about what I ate so much, and I lost five stone in five months. There was an adults only session at my local pool each morning and evening.