Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To be annoyed with nursery

23 replies

Cuffuffle · 04/06/2018 18:35

DD is just under 2. When DP got back this evening they've told him that DD has been naughty all day and wouldn't go to sleep for her nap. They said she was kicking and screaming in the pushchair so just left her to cry herself to sleep.

Now I know DD can be hard work but AIBU to be annoyed about this. When DD has previously not wanted to sleep they've just let her stay awake. Fine with me. I just feel that today, because she's been naughty they've strapped her in the pushchair so they don't have to deal with her . Otherwise why not let her stay awake like they normally do?

AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

Cuffuffle · 04/06/2018 18:51

Bump

OP posts:

Jonsey79 · 04/06/2018 18:53

Did they sit with her and talk calmly and reassuringly to her, or did they park her in a corner and ignore?

Lazypuppy · 04/06/2018 18:57

Do they know you don't want her to be left to cry? Wouldn't necessarily bother me but i'm happy to leave LO to cry and settle herself.

RedHelenB · 04/06/2018 18:57

Sounds like she needed some sleep. Overtired toddlers get easily upset.

Pecano · 04/06/2018 18:57

YANBU at all! That is awful, and It’s worrying that they told you that as they obviously don’t think it’s a big deal!
I would speak to the manager and ask what their policy and procedures for sleep times are, and reiterate that if she is upset then you would prefer her not to sleep, rather than her being restrained and left to cry!

YerAuntFanny · 04/06/2018 18:58

YANBU.

The nurseries I have worked in wouldn't leave a child to cry it out unless a parent has specifically told us that this was part of their home routine and they'd like to carry it on for continuity. Even then we were a bit sceptical of it!

Absolutely no way would this have been done, nor would we have called a child "naughty". They generally act up for a reason, it's their job to help find out and/or support them to overcome it!

Tabathatwitchett · 04/06/2018 18:59

That is absolutely dreadful and I'd be in there in the morning demanding more details before potentially thinking about moving my young child elsewhere.

TroubledLichen · 04/06/2018 18:59

I wouldn’t be happy with any nursery labelling a child as naughty, forcefully restraining them and leaving them cry it out. Personally I’d be complaining and looking for somewhere else.

HairyToity · 04/06/2018 19:00

Would depend how long she cried for. 5 minutes and I'd shrug my shoulders. Over 10 minutes I'd be fuming.

BrutusMcDogface · 04/06/2018 19:00

This is awful. You don't label a child as "naughty", and you don't bloody well leave them to cry themselves to sleep. I'd be furious about this. I'd have expected them to at least push her around in the pushchair if that's how they/you get her to sleep normally. I would go in and tell them that this can't happen again.

BrutusMcDogface · 04/06/2018 19:00

And I would probably be looking elsewhere, too.

Original poster

Cuffuffle · 04/06/2018 19:00

I understand that overtures toddlers cry when tired and I don't have a problem with a few tears. When she wakes in the night she'll cry for a minture or two and selfsoothe back to sleep. But to leave her kicking and screaming just doesn't sit right with me.

OP posts:

Petitprince · 04/06/2018 19:01

YANBU. Your poor daughter!

Thesearmsofmine · 04/06/2018 19:02

I wouldn’t be happy with that. She should be taken for a walk in the pushchair if really tired(even around nursery garden) or take out of the pushchair and just had some quiet time with books/playdough.

flamingofridays · 04/06/2018 19:02

No I wouldn't be happy unless that's what I would do at home and had asked them to do the same.

My nursery don't even use the word naughty (It's a sure start so nothing "out there") And whenever ds hasn't wanted to sleep lots they've just let him do something else which is fine by me.

Stroller15 · 04/06/2018 19:05

I can't really even imagine that happening - it is not good - I'd be in there asking for more details tomorrow.

FarFlungFairy · 04/06/2018 19:05

Hi OP I’m a nursery worker and this would be totally unacceptable where I work.
Make sure you raise this with the manager, no child ‘naughty’ or not should be left to scream in a buggy.

PorkFlute · 04/06/2018 19:08

If she was overtired and cranky then she may not have been happy to potter around playing like usual she may have just been walking around crying/misbehaving due to tiredness so I’d have no problem with them not letting her stay awake.
I’d have a problem with her being left to cry herself to sleep though. I’d expect someone to be at least attempting to reassure her.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/06/2018 19:09

Thing is they didn't have to tell you about it. They chose to, which must mean they think they're right, and that's their policy.

RandomMess · 04/06/2018 19:09

I would ask for clarity over exactly what happened in the guise as to whether DD is ready to give up daily naps...

It's all very open to interpretation and you don't want to risk spoiling a working relationship with the staff. If the explanation is inducing then speak separately to the manager.

LynetteScavo · 04/06/2018 19:25

Do they mean she was overtired? If so, they should say that...not that she was naughty.

As someone whose worked in childcare I think this is unacceptable.

As a parent I'd be really upset if this had happened. I'd be looking for kinder childcare

I think you need to go in an have a conversation about why they thought this was the best way to handle the situation.

PiggyPoos · 04/06/2018 19:30

I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

MotherofPearl · 04/06/2018 19:43

YADNBU OP. I would make an appointment with the nursery principal or manager to discuss this. I can't imagine this happening in the nursery I know - calling toddlers naughty and leaving them to cry in a pram - unimaginable.

Flip