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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be jealous of people with a degree?

101 replies

aconfession0 · 04/06/2018 17:33

I didn't go to uni I left school as soon as I could and started working and for the first while I was just happy to be earning money but in recent years I have felt more and more envious of people with degrees and post grad qualifications especially people who have studied things like philosophy, art, literature etc. It just makes me feel stupid not to have a degree sometimes I am actually quite resentful and envious of those better educated than me.

I have looked into going back but its impossible at this point in my life, I could do one later as sort of proof to myself I could do it but its not the same as starting out with one and building a life long career and I hardly has the focus to read a book so worry I'd struggle anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
aconfession0 · 04/06/2018 17:35

and as per above I can't even string a sentence together :(

OP posts:
ReservoirDogs · 04/06/2018 17:38

It is never too late! There is always OU too if you need to work as well.

Ex mature law student

FunnyBird · 04/06/2018 17:38

Would it be possible with distance learning? Open University or similar?

ShortandStout1 · 04/06/2018 17:38

Don't be I'm in so much debt I doubt I'll ever get a mortgage

PhoebefromFriends · 04/06/2018 17:38

OP I don't have a degree but my sister has a masters and we earn about the same money. I'm a project manager and I can honestly say it was the best qualification I could take, there are plenty of jobs and you can swap industries if you wish. I don't feel inferior to my colleagues or sister I'm actually proud of what I've achieved without a degree. Could you do something via the Open University? Or could you take another qualification in the evening?

Original poster
aconfession0 · 04/06/2018 17:40

I wouldn't be able to work and study at the same time or at least not full time and we need my income to get by.

I know its not all it used to be at uni and yes the costs are awful its just a pride thing to just feel a bit stupid in comparison to people with an education, I was hoping others could empathise?

OP posts:
insancerre · 04/06/2018 17:40

I did my degree over 4 years while working full time in my 40s
It's never too late
And I wasn't the oldest on my course

Lifebeginner · 04/06/2018 17:41

My dad is like you OP - he's the only one in the family without a degree so he feels sad about it. But he's had a great career regardless. I have a degree but I think it's not an indicator of anything necessarily - plenty of not-so clever people have them and plenty of clever people don't.

TheIsland · 04/06/2018 17:41

It sounds like you are jealous of the opportunities they had rather than the actual piece of paper?

Maybe try and think most people are envious of things about others - be it family, finances, opprunties etc.

Although you can work towards a degree now, it might help to look at the reasons you feel this way too.

Original poster
aconfession0 · 04/06/2018 17:42

Its just a pipe dream really I want to study philosophy or art or anthropology something purely intellectual that wouldn't actually get me a job! I just want to know things and read difficult texts and be properly educated not her off the estate who works in a call centre :(

OP posts:
Katy75 · 04/06/2018 17:42

OP, I used to feel that way sometimes too so I went to night school and got a degree, while working full time. It helped me to move into a much better job. Now hoping to do post grad at some point. You can do it, you really can!

runningtogetskinny · 04/06/2018 17:42

By the time I realised I should have gone to Uni I already had a mortgage and needed to work, though I was only in my early 20s. Did my degree with the OU, best thing I ever did as it opened other doors, e.g. PGCE. My husband did his OU degree in his late 30s/early 40s and it's given him so much more confidence at work. Go for it Smile

EnglishRose13 · 04/06/2018 17:43

I didn't go to university as I saw older friends really struggle to get jobs after. I feel the same way as you do.

Luckily, my employer is paying for me to complete a professional qualification which is sold as being degree equivalent but it's not the same.

Panicmode1 · 04/06/2018 17:45

My aunt has just started a degree and she's in her sixties - so don't despair, it's never too late! (Another cousin was a SAHM her whole life and eventually decided to retrain to do something with her excellent brain - becoming a solicitor in her late 40s, and she was so good, she made partner very quickly).

Original poster
aconfession0 · 04/06/2018 17:45

englishrose, yeah there is still a certain kudos to having been properly university educated. Other qualifications are good and can help your career but its not the same.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 04/06/2018 17:45

How old are you, OP?

Do you want to actually study those subjects or simply be in a position where you've got a degree? Do those subjects actually interest you?

What's your situation at the moment? You're working - is that full time? Who is in your house - are you single or with someone? What free time do you have?

PhoebefromFriends · 04/06/2018 17:45

Life is full of choices, you could choose to study via the Open University if you want to challenge yourself. I chose to spend money on a project management qualification and another course I'm currently studying in my spare time. University would not have worked for me. I read quite a bit and in my current role I deal with senior management everyday and they usually assume I've done a degree when I haven't. Could you get additional training in your current role or change jobs? There are things you can do if you want to make a change.

Blostma · 04/06/2018 17:46

OP even if you don’t have time or can’t afford an OU degree at the moment, they also have lots of free short courses available on line. Have a look at OpenLearn.

Confusedbeetle · 04/06/2018 17:47

I did my degree aged 50

Original poster
aconfession0 · 04/06/2018 17:48

Yes those subjects do interest me a lot, I just want to be educated properly know about things like linguistics and structuralisim and continental philosophy. I read bit and peices but I struggle to focus and I don't think any of those things as a job. It is about the kudos of an intellectual degree from a proper university.

If I did do an actual course it would have to be about making better money so wouldn't be what I actually wanted to learn.

OP posts:
TheGlaikitRambler · 04/06/2018 17:48

Don't be so down on yourself. I went back to uni at age 33 and I got my final assessment result today - and I think I got a first! I did it with 3 children and a home to run, it isn't impossible.

CharliesSister · 04/06/2018 17:49

OP I don't have a degree and at 26 earn the same as someone else in my industry who has a degree and masters.
I have work experience (8 years in industry) instead and am just as much in demand.

Salary is 6 figures so not small.

Do you want a degree for the career progression or for the sake of having a degree?
If for career, choose the career first and look at the options rather than jumping straight into Uni

sashh · 04/06/2018 17:49

Why can't you get a degree? There are online degrees now, part time degrees, distance learning. You can also do an HNC/HND/Dip HE at a local college and then upgrade it to a degree.

You can even do an online degree with a Swedish university and pay no fees (until Brexit)

badger2005 · 04/06/2018 17:49

I could do one later as sort of proof to myself I could do it but its not the same as starting out with one and building a life long career

As far as I can tell, most people don't found their whole career on their degree. They get their degree in something and then go and get a job in whatever they can, which might well be pretty unrelated. Not many people who did history, or philosophy, for example, end up using it directly.

To be honest (and I am a university lecturer!) I think most of the time people getting degrees is a bit pointless. What I want to see is people who love a subject pursuing it with curiosity and excitement. I don't think your typical university student is doing this - they are too understandably stressed about the costs and the marks etc.

But you could genuinely pursue some subject (part time) out of genuine interest. I don't really see why it would matter whether it leads to a degree, unless you have some career plan that involves getting that qualification. So why not just pursue your interests in your own way - though independent study, or going to lectures (all university lectures are open to the public you know!) or starting some course - OU, or local college, or whatever works for you.

What subject do you most want to study?

marjorie25 · 04/06/2018 17:50

I think you should do it for the experience and the knowledge that it brings.
Can you not do it part time.
Even if it take you 4 years, the joy of learning is something that you will welcome.
I would say do something that you are interested in, which will hold your interest.
Sit down and make a list of the things that interest you and do a little research, you will be surprised.
I did my degree in Geography which covered: economic, physical and historical aspects . It was extremely interesting and from which I learnt a lot