To ask how i do everything I need to do

[ToddlerIs2]

Disclaimer: I'm a SAHM with DS in nursery 3 hrs a day so have no excuse for not getting this done.

I just feel so unmotivated and tired.

I need to

• get started on a deep clean of the house as there's lots of "stuff" that seems to go round in circles
• sort out DS's too many toys
• loose weight
• exercise more
• good healthier
• do more uni work in the daytime
• sort out some important paperwork stuff for me

So not eden a long list but I just come home from nursery run and sit still. I get some lunch, do a rudimentary tidy and that's about it.
Then once DS is home I sit with him whilst he has his snack (20 minutes), start dinner and that's about it.

I can happily procrastinate wiring to do lists but I just feel so lazy and like I haven't got the energy to do it all which is frankly ridiculous isn't it

It's very common (at least I hope)
Can you just focus on one small task a day?
If I do one task (and write it down) then by the end of the week I'm pleased at how much I've accomplished and it spurs me on.
I'm counting down to my son's nursery start date... but when it comes I'll be the same as you!

Silly question but are you drinking enough water? And getting enough sleep? Dehydration and lack of sleep can be so draining. Maybe get one of those fitness apps that start off with walking, get a fitbit and try to better your steps each day. Try to make sure at least a third of your plate is veg/salad. If you can start to feel more energetic and healthy you will feel much more like tackling the other stuff. Take it in bitesize pieces rather than looking at it as a mountain. Eg set yourself the task of tidying your desk, or filling one bag of toys for the charity shop. And it can be fun to put the kettle on and see how many things you can tidy before it boils :-)

Are you bored? It sounds strange me asking that when you have stuff to do but, looking at the list, none of it is "fun". I find that when all I have to do are various chores, I feel really unmotivated and end up doing hardly any of them, and the more sitting around I do the more tired I get! What works for me, is I have things I enjoy, like reading, craft stuff etc and so I tell myself I'll do an hour of what I need to do, then an hour of what I want to do. I guess, like a reward system.

I’d start with a visit to your GP just to make sure there’s no medical reaso why you feel so tired.

If not, I’d try and get into a routine. Set an alarm for 15 minutes and see how much you can get cleaned in that time

Join the decluttering get rid of one thing a day thread

Work out some targets and rewards for yourself if you meet them eg new lipstick, nice bath

Can you walk to get DSfrom nursery? This would get done exercise into your day

I do the 5-10 mins technique. I did CBT a few years back for depression and agoraphobia and worked out this was the best way to be productive for me. It's still working now with having twin toddlers.
Basically I only do things for 5-10 mins at a time so it's less likely to get boring.
So I'll do 5 mins of catching up on MN
Then I'll do 5 mins of washing up and leave things to soak
Then 10 mins putting clothes, toys, bits and bobs away.
I'll sit for 10 mins and have a cup of tea and food
Put cleaner down the toilet and spray bath with cleaner
Wash up what was soaking in the sink
Back up to bathroom to rinse and clean
You get the gist

Most days go something like that although I do have days where is sit and accomplish very little but make up for it the next day.
Little and often makes things seem less hard work

Be completely honest with yourself.
Are you sluggish because you eat the wrong foods and don't drink enough water? Are you also sleep deprived? Are you also doing 0 exercise? All these thing will make you feel awful and unmotivated.

I used to feel like that because if the above reasons. (I also started CBT which helped)

I joined slimming world (something I though was a load of bullocks) but it's going great so far. I have lost weight which has picked my mood up massively. Which has helped me move more. Which has helped me loose more weight. Which has helped me move more! It's a cycle.

My house is now in a much better state. It's organised and I am motivated to keep it that way.

You need to start small.

Think of ways to loose weight and add exercise into your day.

Sounds harsh but... GET YOUR BUTT UP AND MOVE! it's the only way. Just do it. Pick a task and complete it. Even if it's tiny. Just Do It! You will instantly feel better and less tied up inside. Then you can move onto the next task.

So sorry for the spelling mistakes!

woahhh 3 hours is not a lot of time to get EVERYTHING done so go easy on yourself.

You need to make sure that you do just sit and do nothing sometimes i think if that's what you need to recharge your batteries. self care is incredibly important and as parents (mums especially) tend to think of it as a bit selfish. Don't.

Silly question but are you drinking enough water? And getting enough sleep?
No. I struggle to get to sleep, even now he's finally sleeping through because my brain is used to him needing me in the night, so I fall asleep at say 2, wake up for a wee about 4, up for 8 which is TONS of sleep but I think because its broken it never feels enough. I can catch up weekends but then hate wasting the day

Are you bored? somewhat. I imagined how id love to be a sahm but that was being able to go out on a whim, child who was easy to feed, take places, likes messy play and play groups etc. I'm doing an OU degree I like but it's hard to get into it in the two hour gap in nursery.
I guess guilt stops me somewhat from sitting and just reading for two hours but then other days I just go into town as I don't want to be home on my own

From the nursery run go straight to exercise - don't sit down.

Come home and do one more thing per day - eg Mon paperwork, Tues uni work, Wed deep clean etc.

Give yourself half an hour at the end to relax.

Are you sluggish because you eat the wrong foods and don't drink enough water? Are you also sleep deprived? Are you also doing 0 exercise? All these thing will make you feel awful and unmotivated.
Yes. My self care is generally shitty any way, long history of depression in my late teens / early 20's and then on and off. I'm not depressed now but would say iI have periods of feeling quite low.

I had bloods done a while ago but know I probably should go back.

Join the decluttering get rid of one thing a day thread uh just the thought fills me with dread lol but I prob do need something like that

Work out some targets and rewards for yourself if you meet them eg new lipstick, nice bath starbucks coffee. Yeah that is a good idea actually. I just need to be firm with myself

Can you walk to get DSfrom nursery? This would get done exercise into your day ironically that's what I loved about it being 20 minutes walk away but find myself thinking well we might as well jump in the bus... maybe a fitbit or something so I can see the benefit of my steps instantly

I have suffered from depression in the past. And I was just like you when I became a SAHM.
You can only tackle one thing at a time. Start with eating better. This will give you more energy to do stuff. Which will get you moving more.

Walk to nursery. Come rain or shine.

Go and get some CBT or something to help with any negative thoughts you still have left over. This helped me endlessly.

Things will fall into place slowly. One after the other. But you have to start with a change somewhere.

What do you think you could tackle first?

I think walking to and from school it's the most obvious and easiest, although I have no decent rain coat and a low tolerance for being damp haha.

I'm going to call the docs and ask for a check up.

Slimming world etc is harder as its about finding time - DS does not want to sit through a class and there's none 1-3 in my area, but I do know the theory and actually just cutting the blatant junk would make a difference.

Going home 4/5 days would also help with eating better and doing an hours walk each day

I think mostly you sound overwhelmed, so just setting yourself one task per day would help, and having a plan to stick to.

You don't have very much time, but if you get home and you know exactly what today's 'job' is then you can do it without thinking too hard about it or giving yourself time to talk yourself out of it.

And make sure you reward yourself at the end - whether it's half an hour with a cuppa or 10 minutes on MN or whatever.

The rolling TO DO list!!!

Can you choose one thing to focus on for s couple of weeks? Walking every day/doing a declutter?

I think about doing a 'plus 1' every day so on top of usual tidying, washing up etc I try to declutter or do admin or diy.

You could plan a chapter to read or a drawer to sort before you leave for nursery.

OP, can you cycle to nursery and put DS on the back, then you spend less time doing exercise but it's more effective. Obviously depends if you're in Central London or the top of a steep hill etc.

Also, where is DC's dad in this - can you use a daytime nap at a weekend to work as a pair to be ruthless to clear stuff out?

Where is a local library in relation to nursery - could you stop off somewhere else to work on your degree for the 3 hours DS is at nursery then pick him up, so you're not tempted to be on here or sat at home.

OP, can you cycle to nursery and put DS on the back totally not your fault but unintentionally very funny, the thought alone has cheered me up . DS is on permanent o2 and he has one of his tube feeds on the way to school, so buggy is oy sane option. The image has made my day though. Ds would love it, he's a crazy boy .

DH works full time but does his share. If DS is up before 7 (really rare) I get up, 7-8 DH gets up and wakes me as he's leaving.
He entertains DS from 6 when he gets in whilst I finish dinner and then takes DS up to bed at 7, comes down about 8. I tody living room, kitchen and procrastinate about both whilst he's doing bed. He'll help finish of the tidying if DS goes to sleep quickly.

From 8 - 10/11 I do Uni work and DH does his hobby (from the sofa)

Naps are a thing of legends so weekends if we're all home is out fun or in tag team

Your update about the permanent o2 and feeding tube telling me there's a reason you don't get much done during the day. You sound like when your with your son he is very full on in needing you.

Does your ds play independently? Could you do little things while he does. You haven't said how old he is so not sure if old enough to do a puzzle or mess free arts and crafts while you get on with something.

Can you leave earlier to pick him up and walk a longer route to up your exercise. The fresh air and exercise might help you sleep better.

I decided not to join weightwatchers or slimming world as it gets expensive. Instead I've given up junk food and extra treats. Every time I'm tempted to by something I put the money I would have spent in a piggy bank and the money I've saved I'm planning on buying myself some new clothes when I drop a size.

He's just 3 and various from paying well alone to needing me to literally be touching him, so fairly standard needy 3 yo lol. If I wash up he wants the sink, if I tidy up he likes to make it a mess, if I'm on the pc he wants to press buttons so I guess I've fell into the habit of not doing much whilst he's home alone.

His feed are just 4x 20 minutes so breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner so other than seeing it up it doesn't take much extra work as I'm supervising an oral feed too. His o2 2 just means I can't out him out in the garden unsupervised as he gets knotted and doesn't understand how to unwind himself

For your cleaning I recommend the organised mum method. I'm doing less cleaning but my house is cleaner and tidier than ever.