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Original poster

To be irritated at people that can't stop looking at their mobile when out with friends?

59 replies

Gromance02 · 04/06/2018 10:59

I don't mean checking it occasionally and leaving it in your bag. I mean literally sitting opposite your DP/friend and just being on it constantly? It hasn't happened to me. Just something I seem to see more and more often. You may as well go out on your own if you are going to be glued to your phone. It is so needy and sad.

OP posts:
siwel123 · 04/06/2018 12:49

No I work term time in the office but Liu said I get contacted out of that time and need to reply outside of term time.
No that's disrespectful, but again I've to be contactable and get a lot of contact so as soon as it finished I would check and reply immediately after

ICantCopeAnymore · 04/06/2018 13:04

There's always one

Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean? I was pointing out that some people, who are severely ill, use different things as coping mechanisms and phone distraction is one of them.

What a disgusting, ableist comment.

You haven't offended me OP, thank you for apologising and yes, some people are just twats, but others might be struggling and that's why they do it.

Killing is the only one who has been offensive.

Everanewbie · 04/06/2018 13:18

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ICantCopeAnymore · 04/06/2018 13:24

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siwel123 · 04/06/2018 13:34

Flowers above poster

Lavenderlove · 04/06/2018 13:40

Really annoys me!! I wouldn't mind so much if they were sending a message or something that could actually be of some importance, but the worst thing is when you see they are just mindlessly scrolling through social media!

DingDongDenny · 04/06/2018 13:45

When I went to my SILs hen party, I turned up knowing nobody and they were all on their phones. I introduced myself and they said hello then went back to whatever it was they were doing.

They were all 10 - 15 years younger than me and it seemed to be the norm for them. I've never experienced that when out with friends . I found it really rude and also really boring

ShotsFired · 04/06/2018 13:46

It's clear that a lot of people vastly overestimate their indispensability to the world of work...

ShatnersWig · 04/06/2018 13:48

I was with my closest group of friends a few years ago. I'd very recently suffered a bereavement and wasn't going to go but the couple hosting said they wanted to check on me and make sure I was eating, and said I didn't need to talk much, or even stay longer than half an hour etc. So I decided I would. I didn't talk much, generally listened to others chatting, had a bite to eat and decided to head off. It did do me a bit of good to get out as I'd spent most of the previous three weeks at the hospital.

My best friend of over a decade was there, who I'd always been there for. She spent almost the entire time sat on the floor on her phone, texting bloke she'd had two dates with. I think I probably spoke more than she did. Rude as fuck. She was 38 not 18 and if that's what she wanted to do, she should have stayed at home and spent all night texting (or better still, met up with him; course it only lasted about another 6 weeks as I could have predicted).

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 04/06/2018 13:58

I agree. But I spent a lot of a social event yesterday on my phone because a) I was there for DP and found the friendship group a bit overwhelming so some retreat time helped b) an ex colleague had got in touch needing a character reference asap and was telling me the backstory. It was important.

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2018 13:59

It's kids I feel sorry for though, when they have parents who spend so much time on their phones rather than interacting with them. You see it all the time on the bus, in the park, at soft play etc.

The irony is, many of those parents will have flooded their social media accounts with photos and updates of said children, they spend most of their time ignoring Confused

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2018 14:01

DSHathaway your ex colleague would have had to wait if you'd turned your phone off before entering the event.

IamXXHearMeRoar · 04/06/2018 14:04

I think it is weird and shallow. I agree with the book idea and will employ that technique from now on to make the point.

All this needing to be available self obsessive importance is utter bull. If you want to visit someone then visit them and pay attention otherwise why bother?

Your phone can ring from your pocket and then you can decide if it is an emergency call you have to take (unlikely). You can set different sounds for different people so you don't even have to look to see if the message is urgent.

I think the phone reach has become a reflex action or fidget for most people I see out and about doing this. I rank it with other fidgets in my mind - thumb sucking/nose or ear scratching/ leg or finger tapping/ clicking/ smoking or vaping/ etc. All learned habits, all (usually) manageable and controllable, all conveying discomfort or anxiety and unhappiness. Not a message I want to send to someone I asked to spend time with me. Some seem to be using it to actively avoid interacting with their surroundings or eye contact and chat with real life humanity which is very sad.

Look up.

siwel123 · 04/06/2018 14:05

@Shotsfired. Probably aimed at me.
Well during the period of brexit I do need to be on my phone and working quite a bit. Seems as I'm projecting managing the conversion of a large number of EU laws into UK laws as well as being a specialist advisor to any MPS on the subject.

If you're mindlessly scrolling through social media when out with people then yes that's rude. If you're checking and replying to work then indont think it is

Myotherusernameisbest · 04/06/2018 14:05

I hate this. Gives me the rage when I'm in the middle of speaking and someones phone dings and they immediately just pick it up to look. Its just really rude. My DC who are older know how I feel about this and theres never any arguments about no phones at the dinner table or when we have visitors that they are required to engage with.

I often work remotely and the odd occasion when I'm out with the dc or friends whilst need to be in touch with work and my phone dings I will wait until an appropriate time to check it. I figure, if I was driving right now I couldn't check straight away so they can wait a bit.

siwel123 · 04/06/2018 14:07

I also want to make the point I'm not constantly on it but I will check and reply to the steady stream of emails and texts I get every 30 mins to an hour. This takes maybe 5 to 10 minutes .

WhiteCoyote · 04/06/2018 14:13

Whenever I’m out with friends I always check my phone when it dings as I have childcare when I’m out and need to check it’s not from my dp or whoever is looking after my child. If it’s not then I put my phone back and ignore it, I don’t reply to any messages until we’re finished. If me looking away from the group for literally a second annoys them then they just need to suck it up and not go out with me again. There’s nothing rude about making sure it’s not an emergency.

IamXXHearMeRoar · 04/06/2018 14:14

Did I misread you siwel123? So if you meet a friend for a quick lunch, say hour and a half and you expect them to twiddle their thumbs waiting for your attention for about thirty minutes of that!?!

WOW! Do you have any friends left?

IamXXHearMeRoar · 04/06/2018 14:16

WhiteCoyote do you do that mid someone else's sentence or do you wait until you go to the loo or there is a natural pause?

siwel123 · 04/06/2018 14:22

Yes you misread. Yes I do have friends.
I check every 30 minutes to an hour.
Yes I take 5 to 10 minutes to reply.
Doesn't mean I'm not focusing, I can put my phone down and then pick it back up again.

Do you have friends left with your attitude?

TheKarateKitty · 04/06/2018 14:25

“I don't mean checking it occasionally and leaving it in your bag. I mean literally sitting opposite your DP/friend and just being on it constantly?”

The OP doesn’t mean people having a quick glance for important messages, nor those with MH issues.

The matter is the constant attention to what’s on the phone and not the human being in front of you. Like the PP whose “friend” sat there texting her would be/new booty call.

Yes, it’s beyond rude; it’s a growing problem of disconnect and not valuing the people right there before you.

IamXXHearMeRoar · 04/06/2018 14:31

Grin I do have friends siwel, thanks. Not a one of them has ever spent 5-10 minutes regularly ignoring everyone during our meetings that I can think of. We are old fashioned mindful types I guess who genuinely want to catch up.

pasturesgreen · 04/06/2018 14:34

It's clear that a lot of people vastly overestimate their indispensability to the world of work...

^^ This, absolutely.
Surely the number of people who do jobs where you actually have to be on call 24/7 is monumentally small.

I sometimes wonder how things ever got done in the pre-smartphone era. It amazes me how the previous generations could get on with their lives without being contactable at all hours...

siwel123 · 04/06/2018 14:35

Well see you asked me so I asked you Grin.
I get some people will not like what I do, but is till talk and interact with friends while doing it so hey I have heard no complaints and we all still meet upSmile

siwel123 · 04/06/2018 14:36

Again my job at the moment does require me to be contactable 24/7. Before smartphones it would have been a later or my landline or my computer.