To expect DH to get up and help?

[Mintchocmummy]

DH had surgery and is currently off work. No driving for 3 months, in a cast and on crutches. Elective surgery - he’s not ‘ill’. So I’m doing all the school runs, I work and I’m doing all the cooking and cleaning, grocery shopping, waiting on him with drinks, etc etc

DD is back to school (primary age) after half term and I need to drop her at the school’s wraparound care by 8 so that I can get to work then finish by 5 to collect her from childcare again. I have an executive job which requires me to be properly suited and made up every day - I can’t just throw on jeans or a crumpled uniform. School is 15 mins away so realistically we need to be up by 7 at the absolute latest.

AIBU to expect DH to get up with us and help get DD ready for school, as he has the rest of the day to laze around? It’s 9.45am now and he’s still in bed.

Sadly, giving DD a timetable won’t work, though the idea is good. She's very kind and smart but forgets what she meant to be doing if she so much as goes into a different room! It’s really hard work to keep her focussed because she has such a mad imagination her head is always somewhere else. 🙄

Just saying I wore a uniform for 40 years and it was never crumpled.

Mintchoc: I''d still try delegating, she might surprise you. I resorted to this after months of nagging to get ready - and was amazed how well it worked, instant no nagging and ready early (admittedly she was terrified of being late)

If it was a working dad who was suggesting that his wife should be getting out of bed days after surgery, on crutches and painkillers to get the children ready for school because he couldn't manage it alone cos of his important work schedule, there would be uproar on here.

Utter rubbish, if he was doing everything OP was doing, he’d be labelled as a hero.

Ariela - I will def try it on Weds when we have to be up early again. She does surprise me sometimes and I was in a bit of a negative mood earlier.

I’m sat in the kitchen with all the grocery shopping to put away, having done the round trip to school and gymnastics, collected his meds, shopping in the middle, collected DD, dished up dinner, and I still have 2 hrs work to catch up on tonight so that I can take DH to hospital in the morning. There aren’t enough hours! At least he cleared the table.... now he’s pooped, poor man!

....His meds being standard anti thromosis thinners whilst he’s not using the leg.

YABVU
I had surgery on both feet and was nwb and I was exhausted and in pain. I spent all my time sleeping or resting. I even had Christmas dinner in bed.
My husband worked full time and looked after our autistic child while I recuperated.
I'd have ltb if he had suggested I was being lazy! I couldn't walk or stand!

Thanks Zintox, your situation was much different. I’m sure it was extremely painful for you and you were entirely immobile for a long time. I hope you recovered ok and gave your DH a well deserved break afterwards.

Maybe you thought I was expecting him to start doing housework, rather than just chivvy along DD and say goodbye to her before leaving for school.