Comments from the peanut gallery; i.e. toddler

[Catsinthecupboard]

Today dh took me to nursery to buy belated mother's day flower. I was happily chatting with him (he has a low, deep voice and was grumbling bc he was bored. Normal exchange / long marriage conversation) abt replacing a garden plant that had died over the winter when a little girl about 3/4 sitting in a cart began yakking at me.
I enjoy children and it didn't bother me. She told me not to buy the plants bc her mother wanted them. I smiled. Continued "torturing" husband with asking him which he preferred. (He wasn't really that unhappy, it's his normal attitude bc he hates all shopping.) He does enjoy sitting in the garden and does actually enjoy plants. Just not shopping.

Anyway, the girl was interrupting and bossy but, I still didn't mind. Her mother finally noticed and asked what her dd had said. I was pleasant and laughed. No hard feelings.
Finally, just as we were moving away, her dd got very loud and said. "Mummy! She doesn't LIKE him!"
Her mother didn't say anything. Except she laughed and seemed to agree.
I replied, nicely, "I do like him. I love him. We've been married a long time."
Still nothing from her mother.

I'm still thinking of this hours later. I'm not sure why I'm upset. Embarrassment bc i sounded rude to dh? It was a private conversation in a public place.

I know that i would have told our dc that wasn't nice and apologized.

I laughed at first bc dh is a big man with deep voice and he often pokes fun at me and when I finally say something it looks like I'm the nasty little ogre. But later, it bothered me.

I try very hard to have a modulated voice a public. I'm sure that i wasn't being bitchy.

I think I'm hurt bc the mother seemed to agree with her daughter.

I realize they are strangers and I'll never see them again. Dh just laughed. He's completely confident after all these years. He knew that he was poking me bc he wanted to leave. I was trying to buy what would please him. Pretty common, I thought.

AIBU? please be gentle. Or does anyone have something similar? Where dp instigates things that you're blamed for?

I really don’t understand why you’re still thinking about this? She was a small child, there was nothing to apologise for or for your Dh to defend you for, or anything.
You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I really wouldn’t worry or waste your time thinking about it, seriously.
You love DH, end of.
Kids talk a lot of shite.

I get it. I'm not as nice as you and avoid yakking children because they are usually accompanied by adults who think every word they say is a stroke of genius worth listening to. Try to forget it but keep an eye out for them again and have something cutting to say back.

Today, my toddler asked me if I’d remembered to bring my bum with me to the shops, and why penguins don’t wear hats.

In short, toddlers talk a right load of old bollocks.

Don’t give it any more headspace.

Seriously, move on. Yes I would've said something in the mum's position but maybe she was exhausted, who knows.

It's a bit weird that you're even thinking about this.
What on earth did you expect the mother to do? Pitch in with a confirmation about the state of your marriage?

And what's a peanut gallery?

I think you're smarting over this because, as you say, you're embarassed. You usually make an effort to not stand out in public, but you got noticed anyway in the middle of what you know was good-natured squabble with your partner. And it's not the child's reaction, it's the fact that her mum seemed to be laughing at you too -- especially after you'd politely humoured her daughter. I don't think many people enjoy feeling like they're the entertainment and I can relate to your post. Unlike your husband, mine has a loud carrying voice and seems to actively enjoy being the centre of attention in public, whereas I'm always wanting the ground to swallow me up.

She was 3! 3 year olds say all kinds of shite. They certainly aren't perceptive enough to make relevant social commentary. Her mother probably just sounded like she was agreeing to shut her up and not make a scene. Definitely something to just forget about!

I imagine the mother didn't say anything because she didn't imagine you'd be bothered by the musings for a 3 year old. Don't worry about it at all!

My toddler DD has the same conversations again and again. She also gets cross if you disagree with her. On a recent holiday she kept saying we would see the lady (whichever random person was in the hotel lobby) again tomorrow and that the hotel was actually called Grannie and Grandad's house. I often just say ok and sometimes don't even fully process what was said. Don't take it personally, toddlers talk rubbish!

Ah, you see, where you are going wrong is not minding children. I don’t like children, so none would talk at me, then they don’t get the chance to be rude. Just give them a hard stare and they shut up. Easy.

I appreciate it's horrible to feel misunderstood and presumably you feel humiliated as you think the mum might have walked off thinking the two of you are in a rubbish marriage, and maybe she did but she's a stranger you'll probably never see again.

But I do know it irks, even when you know that!

Try to forget it but keep an eye out for them again and have something cutting to say back.

Yes you always need a really cutting remark ready for putting 3 year olds I’m their place.

Honestly - the mother had probably listened to so many inane shouts of mummeeeee that day, that she'd tuned it out and was thinking about cooking dinner or something. Don't give it a minute's thought.

Mine told her father he has "nice big boobies" last night. You can imagine how THAT went down. But she doesn't know!