Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Stag do after wedding

48 replies

Savingbuttons · 03/06/2018 20:53

Just wondering what others opinions of this was as I am a bit annoyed.
Last year we were invited to a long haul wedding of one of DHs friends. We have two DC who are 1 and 5 years. After discussing the options we decided that DH would go alone to the wedding due to cost and also not wanting to travel long haul with the youngest dc.
It is now 2 weeks before the wedding and the groom has messaged my DH asking if he would be a second best man and organise him a stag do for him after the wedding, preferably abroad. No ideas about dates of the stag do yet. AIBU or is this a bit cheeky?

OP posts:

thecatsthecats · 04/06/2018 07:52

To play devil's advocate, I can see there being bad reasons for a stag do after the wedding - if the best man hasn't organized anything yet then it's pretty shit for the groom. Can't get past the abroad thing though...

(I am worried for my own fiance, because his best man hasn't organized anything for his stag do, and I hate the idea of him feeling let down or undeserving because his mate fails to come through with even a basic plan - my fiance is the most laid back person in the world and wouldn't want anything overblown)

InfiniteSheldon · 04/06/2018 07:54

Message back 'Christ no getting to the wedding was a mission that's out of the question mate'

LoniceraJaponica · 04/06/2018 07:59

What is wrong with the groom organising it himself? Thst's what used to happen.

WrenDouglas · 04/06/2018 08:07

I wonder if this is the groom from that thread about the couple having a second wedding because they didn’t get enough presents first time round!

BlueJava · 04/06/2018 08:47

I'd say he can do whatever duties on the actual wedding day but can't do the stag afterwards. Just say you can't afford it, seems a bit crazy to have two trips abroad for one wedding if you have to fork out!

FASH84 · 04/06/2018 08:57

We had a destination wedding so had low key, one night stag and hen in London (different nights, we live near London), we organised them ourselves as it's already asking an awful lot of people to travel, especially as ours was long haul. I've been to other hens abroad, with UK weddings. People complain about hens abroad but you go if you want/can or don't!

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2018 09:08

@thecatsthecats

Just tell your fiancé to organise his own! I did my own hen and therefore ensured no L-Plates, veils, penises or male strippers and most importantly it was ONE DAY that was easy travelling for everyone.

If he does it himself he’ll get the dobhe actually wants.

StealthPolarBear · 04/06/2018 09:11

So this is a lads' honeymoon :o

Original poster

Savingbuttons · 04/06/2018 09:44

Yes I think it is the request to organise it abroad that is cheeky. I wouldn’t mind if it was just a night out. Might get DH to see if he would do that instead. I can’t imagine many people agreeing to come to a stag party abroad after the wedding anyway.
The wedding is in brides home county so i think she is doing something with friends before the wedding.

OP posts:

Mitzimaybe · 04/06/2018 12:45

Total CF. Ask your DH when you are going to get your lovely holiday together as a family. It's just not on.

astoundedgoat · 04/06/2018 14:36

I bet the original best man has just put together a normal night on the lash, and CFGroom is pissed off that he doesn't get to pretend to be a Rich Kid of Instagram for 3 days at his mates' expense and has identified your DH as a soft touch. Does he think of your family as having a few quid?

bakingdemon · 04/06/2018 14:44

Can your DP reply along the lines of "thanks mate, so honoured to be asked to be your best man and will do what I can to support at the wedding. As you know, my other half and the kids can't come to the wedding due to cost and this means I can't afford an overseas stag do as well. Happy to organise a night out when we're all back in the U.K. though!"

maras2 · 04/06/2018 14:52

I've never heard such nonsense'
It's verging on CF'ness.

PolkaHots · 04/06/2018 19:09

I’m loving barking s response. Your DH gets to be best man and not organise a daft stag abroad. Result. Or might he fine he’s been demoted?

Lemonlady22 · 04/06/2018 23:39

so your partner gets two holidays abroad with out you and the children....tell him hes the CF!

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/06/2018 23:43

Long haul wedding and stag abroad? Wanker.

ObiJuanKenobi · 04/06/2018 23:49

Cheeky fucker

Notso · 05/06/2018 07:08

I think it depends on the reasons why there has been no stag do organised as to whether it's a cheeky request or not, although I don't see why the groom can't organise his own do.
Presumably if there'd been one organised before the wedding your DH would have attended.

thegreatbeyond · 05/06/2018 08:01

Hahaha, no. He has a baby and a five year old. He's not available for various holidays abroad.

hidinginthenightgarden · 05/06/2018 08:20

Reply to this is easy "sorry mate, honoured at being asked to be best man but wouldn't be able to attend a stag abroad as well as the wedding. Perhaps you could pick someone who can or maybe just do a lads night out after the wedding instead?"

Original poster

Savingbuttons · 06/06/2018 11:13

Just wanted to give a quick update. DH has spoken to his friend and explained he can’t go on/ organize a stag do abroad so hopefully this has nipped the idea in the bud. They will look at having a night out in the UK some time in the future after the wedding. Thanks for everyone’s advice. Am feeling a bit stressed about DH going away for the wedding so might have to book myself a mumsnet fix-all spa day when he is back!

OP posts:

rumbelina · 08/06/2018 06:55

Oh good, glad dh has been up front and honest.

PolkaHots · 09/06/2018 16:38

Great

Flip

1 2