To think she shouldn't have said anything

[Idontknowwhoisright]

Been together with my partner (not married) for 2 1/2 years. His 30th is coming up soon and I had an idea of organising a surprise dinner for him with friends. I've invited about 10 -12 people and it popped in my mind to invite his sister and her husband even though they live abroad it's a fairly short flight. So I did and she was very excited and I was so pleased they'll come even though they told me they bringing their 1 yo son (kids weren't invited to this party) I presumed he could stay 1-2 nights with GP but whatever I didn't mind.

Then she messaged me saying maybe we should do the party at a soft play as my partner would never think of that and maybe after soft play we could have something low key at our house.

Well from my side, I love my partner he's great and we had so many ups and downs I just wanted to do something nice, memorable for his bday. I was just about a to message my 'SIL' saying I don't think it's a good idea I would prefer a nice restaurant and a couple of drinks and was going to ask her to not to tell him they coming.

Unfortunately I wasn't fast enough as I was typing the text I heard my partner on the phone with his sis and she told him they are coming. I got so upset, maybe even a bit too much and I just told him I organised a surprise party for him. I messaged her and told her that I have told everything to my partner, she messaged me back that she didn't mean to ruin to surprise.

AIBU?

So she just said she'd be visiting for his birthday z? So you told him about the party?

Yeah, you over reacted. And it isn't a party, it's a meal but good lord do not move it to a soft play for the sake of a single 1 year old

Did she tell him about the party or just that they were coming over?
She’s mad to suggest a 30th birthday party at a softplay, sorry!

God no she sounds awful and selfish! A 30th party in a soft play?! Are you sure she doesn’t think it’s her sons birthday party you are organising?!

Do not have an adult's birthday party at a soft play? That is an insane suggestion. You plan what you think your partner would like and invite people, don't change it around for the whims of others

What a selfish woman. First she wants a 30th birthday party in a soft play place (is she mad? He's going to be 30!) and then she tries to dictate what happens afterwards. And THEN she tells him about it!

I'd be furious with her.

Was she serious? A 30 year old's birthday dinner at a soft play area? What a selfish suggestion!

If you'd told her it was a surprise, then she's totally out of order for ringing him.

Well I told my partner the date when I had something special planned for him and 'sil' told him they coming for that weekend. He was looking at me a bit confused while he was on to her as he thought I had something planned for that weekend and now his sis announces they coming. He's actually bday is during the week so I'll get him presents and take him out on that evening but the dinner party meant to be a week after his bday. It's just some of his friends from uni, old job etc. The ones I know matter him a lot and would enjoy catching up with.

Wel you can still do all that but you might need to make it clear to SIL that it's no kids. How far are IL's away?

I was just about a to message my 'SIL' saying I don't think it's a good idea I would prefer a nice restaurant and a couple of drinks

Honestly you don’t need to pussy foot around softly with someone who clearly deals in pushiness.

If it comes up again reply sorry, the party is a meal at place at 7pm on date, it’s adults only so I really hope you can make it! RSVP by date please so I can add you to the booking

Of course you aren't going go to hold a 30th birthday party at a soft play! What a ridiculous suggestion. Just reply telling her what you have planned. Don't get into a discussion.