DP and I are not engaged but we have talked quite a lot about marriage and what we would do. It is on the cards in the near future anyway.
I am close with my immediate family (Mum, Dad and sister) but my parents are not close to either of their families and consequently neither am I. My parents split 10 years ago. My Dad has a long term partner but my Mum is single. My Mum and my Dad's partner despise each other (largely a jealousy thing I think). For this reason, I have always been worried about getting married and having everybody there, especially my Mum and my Dad's partner. It is not as though they would be diffused by a large family. Also, me and DP have never wanted to fork out thousands for a wedding, especially since we bought a house last year and would rather put our money onto making that nice. We talked the other day and said that we would quite happily have a basic ceremony at a register office with two witnesses. Being married is what is important rather than having a big day.
My Mum asked me last weekend what we would do for our wedding should we get married. I told her our potential plans. I could tell she was not happy as I suggested I would have my Dad as my witness (DP would probably have his Mum). Anyway, she brought it up again earlier saying she was really upset that she wouldn't be at my wedding (which I do understand) but she also went on to say that there is no point in getting married if you aren't going to actually have a wedding. My sister also piped up that she thinks it would be very selfish of us to do what we talked about.
I am so frustrated as it feels like whatever we do, people are going to be upset. I can see that DP's family would also be cross if we went ahead with this. I know that this is all academic at the moment but I wish we could just be happy in the knowledge that OUR day will be the way we want it.
What do you think? AIBU?