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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 04/06/2018 07:49

@Yanny Training a dog not to growl is incredibly dangerous, because it removes the dog's ability to give a last ditch warning that it's uncomfortable or feeling threatened. If it can't give that last ditch warning - and there will have been more subtle warnings before that point that have been ignored - then it will have no option but to escalate directly to a bite.

Growling is communication that should be heeded as a "fuck off"; I will never, ever take that away from my well trained dog, for everyone's sake.

(And nor will I take away the playful growl that he uses when playing tug of war - he is doing nothing wrong)

BuntyII · 04/06/2018 07:55

YANBU. I'm very much a dog lover and have dogs myself. I think letting dogs off lead in a public area is totally irresponsible. It is a risk to the dog. People will say oh my dog has perfect recall. That's ok but when your dog sees a squirrel or something that instinct might kick in and they could dash across the road or over a barbed wire fence to get at it. The best trained dog in the world is still a dog.

JuicySwan · 04/06/2018 08:12

Avocados - absolutely correct. Never punish a growl.
Also correct re:play - my dog sounds FEROCIOUS when we’re playing tug 😁

Bluelonerose · 04/06/2018 08:15

The ones who bring their dogs in the school ground too despite numerous reminders not to Hmm

Apparently they're dog cost too much to leave at home Shock Confused

Wolfiefan · 04/06/2018 08:16

Mrs dogs do play with their mouths. If your dog wasn't happy the other owner should remove their dog. If it's all open mouthed play and both dogs are happy then leave them to it.
I agree about the growling. Shouldn't ever take that away.
Barking can be a noise nuisance. Eg dogs shut out and barking all day. Not the same at all b

LakieLady · 04/06/2018 08:30

Growling is communication that should be heeded as a "fuck off"

Absolutely.

My dog will growl if I inadvertently tug a know while grooming her, or if the vet does something that hurts her. She has a different, soft, warning growl (it sounds like the noise posh teddy bears make) if there's someone we don't know coming to the house.

The only time I've heard her growl at a person was when DP's niece kept trying to fuss her and stroke her when she was trying to sleep. She'd gone right into a corner behind a chair to get away from this child, who then crawled under the chair to get to her. Despite me asking, her mother wouldn't tell her to leave the dog alone!

In the end, MIL told the child off.

OneStepSideways · 04/06/2018 08:38

YANBU. We avoid parks and country walks because of all the boisterous dogs off lead. It makes me nervous when they bounce up to you and start sniffing. I wish UK had dog parks or a law that all dogs must be leashed in public.

If a dog jumps up at me or my toddler, or comes too close, we stand still and I shout to the owner to put it on a lead! Then tell them off for having it off lead and bothering people. Most owners get embarrassed and hopefully will think twice next time.

It enrages me when people take their dogs into areas dogs are banned, such as dog-free beaches and playgrounds! It's just so selfish and rude.

PolkerrisBeach · 04/06/2018 08:39

YANBU

But you are going to get the owners on here saying that it's your fault for having a child who is fearful of dogs and that their dog has just as much right to run around as your child does.

Tartsamazeballs · 04/06/2018 08:48

Yanbu. My dog is now 8 and twice in his life he's been a dick with children, once when he was off lead for the first time as a 14 week old puppy and he jumped up at a 2 year old toddler having never seen a young kid before and knocked him over, and once at 2 or 3 in his stupid teenage phase where he bounded towards a 5 year old on a bike (stopped 5 foot short but still acted scary). Both times I was mortified and gave my dog an absolute bollocking. I also apologised profusely to the kids and their parents, and in both cases got my dog to sit down so kid and dog could greet each other calmly. Like I said it's about 5 years since the last incident and he's an absolute dream around kids now. Shit happens, the problem is when you don't take charge and deal with it which so many people don't. I rarely have him on lead but if we are walking towards a family where kids seem nervous of dogs I drop him into a sit, it's just basic manners really.

Sparklyshoes16 · 04/06/2018 08:50

@Childrenofthesun not sure what you can do...Me and DH asked each other the same question...there was no life guard and the National trust entry box thing was about a mile back no where near the entrance. There were no people patrolling the beach like I've recently seen at some beaches in Wales etc so I suppose people know they can do what they want Confused

@ScaredPAD we were puzzled at the dog owner's response as the kids were clearly terrified, they were really crying...when we were on our way back the family had packed up and gone so about 15 mins! For me it was the arrogance of the owner just laughing...how does he know for sure the dog won't hurt them? Such a shame as the family from the looks of it had only just got their food out!

Kamma89 · 04/06/2018 09:06

I watched a relatively large dog (rubbish at breeds) get kicked repeatedly in the face and side yesterday in the park. The owners had refused to put it on a leash & it had knocked over a guys toddler and trashed their picnic. Guy flipped out & kicked the dog over & over. It was horrible. Dangerous situation for all. Bad dog owners are a menace.

Greyhorses · 04/06/2018 09:12

My horse nearly killed someone’s dog last week that was biting at her heels as she walked. The owner was very lucky the horses didn’t kick his dog into next year and I wouldn’t blame it either.

I have two massive dogs who are always on lead in public, mainly to protect them from getting into a situation where they could be hurt or from being pestered by idiots.

Locasta · 04/06/2018 16:46

Try Google, it's a great invention.

No thank you, it's clear you're not willing to elaborate on a forum where you would no doubt have your arse handed to you ☺️

Chattymummyhere · 04/06/2018 17:10

I’m a dog owner and honestly really starting to hate dogs due to other owners. My toddler who’s been around dogs since day one is absolutely petrified of dogs now since she’s was attacked in her pushchair nearly asleep by a dog on its lead! She won’t even go near our own dogs now she screams to be picked up/runs off and hides if they so much as enter the same room as her now. We certainly won’t be getting anymore dogs once these ones pass away it’s not fair on DD and frankly the less time I have to spend near other dog owners the better as they all seem incapable of even controlling an on lead dog around here. Let alone the escape artist husky who attacks everytime it manages to escape the owners house.

Sparklyshoes16 · 04/06/2018 17:23

It really grates on me the owners that have their dogs on extra long leashes! I've just watched a woman on her phone whilst her dog was way ahead on its lead! Dog has run into the road after another dog on other side of road, a car has just swerved to avoid hitting the dog and narrowly miss my neighbours wing mirror! Woman with phone didn't even flinch just looked up from her phone and reeled the lead in and walked off Confused

Deshasafraisy · 04/06/2018 17:40

Dog owners give dogs a bad name. Good dog owners are very rare

caringcarer · 04/06/2018 17:41

Dogs should be on leads in parks and public spaces and not on beaches at all. I am getting a puppy at end of month and the first thing I will be doing is puppy training classes because I don't want a rude disobedient dog that jumps on people. More owners need to take training their dog seriously and picking up poop too. I hate it when I go on a beautiful lake walk close to my house and I see dog mess on the path where toddlers could fall or walk in it. Rant over.

Echobelly · 04/06/2018 17:44

I do think some owners need to realise that no matter how friendly, sweet or cute you think your dog is, some people simply do. not. like. dogs. and are not comfortable around them, whatever you say.

I'm fine with dogs, but my husband isn't and gets very annoyed when people let them jump all over him when he's clearly not happy about it and they're standing right there.

Tara12 · 04/06/2018 17:44

I don't think it is acceptable for a small frightened child to be chased by a dog. Neither do the owners, they just don't want to be reported.

supersop60 · 04/06/2018 17:45

Yanbu OP. My dog is a Springer and very jumpy - it's getting better, but I know how awful it is when a strange dog is heading towards you at speed. I apologise on behalf of the 'good' dog people!

beachcomber767 · 04/06/2018 17:49

Very briefly, i have 3 smallish, biddable dogs. Whenever i see children who seem a little alarmed or anxious i simply tell them to stand as still as a statue, and quietly. Dogs think anyone running about and screaming is playing and they usually just check out with sniff anyone who still and therefore boring ! Similarly my younger dog gets excited if we meet horses trotting or galloping but takes little notice if the horse is just walking. Am sympathetic, but as someone said here, a dog is only a dog - we dont love them for their brains - and in my experience, any dog that is running free with its owner is ( or should be ) basically reliable and friendly.

KERALA1 · 04/06/2018 17:51

I was bitten on the face (unprovoked) as a small child whilst playing in my own garden. Still remember the sense of injustice as our neighbour whose dog it was (labrador) tried to say this was my fault Hmm. It was put down shortly afterwards as it had gone mad but no apology from the neighbour.

I have missed the dog gene sadly and just don't get it. I don't wish dogs any harm and respect people's right to have them but I do not want them near me, jumping at me (happened recently) or running over my picnic.

Bramble71 · 04/06/2018 17:51

You're not being unreasonable at all, OP. I'm absolutely with you. I think dog owners should be immediately prepared to put their pets back on a lead if they are upsetting any one around them, adult or child.

I, too, am frightened of dogs and get anxious and upset if they're around me and, if the owner is rude enough to let them jump up at me, I get annoyed as well as usually bursting into tears. I tell people that I'm frightened but some just don't care. I hate people like that. They shouldn't be allowed to have pets.

GameOldBirdz · 04/06/2018 17:52

Totally agree, OP

Take photos every time, threaten to report to the dog warden, call them names, call them irresponsible, throw water at the dog.

I love my dogs far more than pretty much any human on earth but I agree

Thesearepearls · 04/06/2018 17:53

There are irresponsible dog owners. If a dog is off lead then it should go without saying that it is friendly, biddable and kind with kids and other dogs. Mine runs up to everything (children included) but he's never growled at or bitten any person or dog to my certain knowledge and all the kids bend down and pat him.

Sorry you've had this bad experience.