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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
Slanetylor · 09/06/2018 17:49

One study recounted the majority of children in a class room with a dog will display lower anxiety.
Due to the dog, the break in routine, the novelty etc.
and a smaller amount of children will experience increased anxiety because there’s a dog in their previously dog free environment.

DunRoaming · 09/06/2018 19:41

It may be unlikely that a dog will bite. But it is absolutely not guaranteed, and that is what we wish you dog people would understand. Many of us will never trust a dog, not even yours, not even a guide dog - you just do not know, and many of us don't wish to risk our children or ourselves like that. Stop making us, stop trying to persuade us the risk is worth it.

And yes, dog shit is a massive problem, it is terrible for our waterways as is the waste from the farmed animals that end up on your plate - we are seeing more awareness of the latter, and people are reducing or giving up meat - I do believe in due course we will understand dogs are not so valuable that their waste (and bitey attacks) warrants their survival as a species, except the very few - guide dogs, sniffer dogs etc.

As for stroking one, that would absolutely raise my blood pressure and stress me out. Different strokes for different folks, haha.

Dogs are not better than people. Dogs are better for people who

  • like to feel superior to something
  • lack social skills enough that they can't work out human relationships and rely instead on a dog to fill that void

Dogs adore you because you feed them, and that's why they are happy to see you. That's really all there is to it. And a dog will be fine rehomed - as long as it is fed, it does not care.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 09/06/2018 19:51

*Dogs are not better than people. Dogs are better for people who

  • like to feel superior to something
  • lack social skills enough that they can't work out human relationships and rely instead on a dog to fill that void*

Not really.

I don't feel superior to my dogs. They are much prettier than I am.

Seriously, have you ever observed dog owners in parks? You'll find that they have a friendly relationship to each other and help each other out.
There is a lot of social interaction going on. The dogs are there to give you ticket into the club, so to speak.

Dogs help many elderly people have the social contacts they need.

I'm so sorry you fail to see this, Dun. Don't be so close minded. Don't let your hate blind you.

Aw12345 · 09/06/2018 19:54

DunRoaming

Dogs do not just adore people because they feed them, dogs who are abused still love their owners.

Plenty of dog owners have social skills, in fact dogs are proven to increase social interaction with other people on walks etc.

I agree never to completely trust a dog but the fact of the matter is that humans (especially children) are at much more risk from other humans than from dogs.

Ruffian · 09/06/2018 19:57

You can't guarantee a placid human will never snap so why would you think a dog wouldn't?
It may be unlikely that a dog will bite. But it is absolutely not guarantee*

As a dog owner I totally agree with both those statements, it's dangerously naive to think otherwise.

The rest of your post is garbage Dunroaming. Humans have lived alongside dogs and doted on them for centuries and there's no reason for that to change. If anything I think more single people and couples are opting for dogs than ever.

People I know who keep dogs aren't interested in feeling superior to them - in fact it is often quite comical to see the ways they will treat them as equals (see thread running on mn at the mo about celebrating your dog's birthday!). A friend of mine has coffee and croissant with her dog every Saturday as a treat. She spent hellish years in an abusive marriage and says the affection she gets from her dog has really helped her deal with the aftermath.

People keep dogs because they are great company and unconditionally loving. You don't have to like it or be persuaded in any way but you don't have to be so ridiculously negative either.

80sMum · 09/06/2018 20:12

Grrr. I get so annoyed when people allow their dogs to jump up on me and plant their dirty paws all over me, or when they allow the dog to run around me or weave in and out of my legs when I am walking. Angry

The owners smile and say "don't worry, he's just being friendly." well, actually I do worry. I don't like dogs and I don't want to be jumped on!

I have often been sorely tempted to run up to the owners and jump around them, run right in front of them, bumping into them and then wipe muddy hands on them, then smile and say "oh don't worry, I'm just being friendly!" Grin

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 09/06/2018 20:43

@aaron....if there any possibility that YOU are feeding your child’s fear? I’m scared of spiders but, when I had my child I came over all nonchalant about them, so as not to instil my fear, in them.

Newerversion · 09/06/2018 20:44

"Dogs are not better than people. Dogs are better for people who

  • like to feel superior to something
  • lack social skills enough that they can't work out human relationships and rely instead on a dog to fill that void"

It has been a a while since I read a bigger pile of old shit than this Wink

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 09/06/2018 20:49

@Newerversion....you’re right.

I love dogs because they, unlike many humans are non-judgemental and there’s no agenda. Some posters on here clearly just HATE Dogs.

MissusGeneHunt · 09/06/2018 20:52

I'm never usually offended, but am at Dunroamin's post. I neither feel 'superior' to my dogs, or lack social skills in relation to needing to 'fill a void'. How dare you??! I would retaliate, but my social skills remind me to turn the other cheek.

aaronburr · 09/06/2018 20:56

@aaron....if there any possibility that YOU are feeding your child’s fear?

Well as I've said we spend time with friends who have dogs; I remain calm and try to reassure her when she is scared. I don't know how I could be feeding her fear really.

Lethaldrizzle · 09/06/2018 21:02

Aunty Jackie - that's precisely the point I made earlier, people say they love dogs because they are non judgemental and have no agenda - that's because they're dogs!

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 09/06/2018 21:06

@Aaron, I don’t know what to say. So, you socialise with people who have dogs. Yet you describe dog owners as selfish and....can’t remember and can’t be bothered to read back and find your other descriptions.

Good grief.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 09/06/2018 21:11

Pieces of shit, AuntyJackie, that's what Aaron called dog owners.

keyboardkate · 09/06/2018 21:20

Beware.

Dogs (and cats) are the masters, not the owners.

Cannot to this day understand the love people have for dogs or cats, or hamsters etc.. Well to the detriment of their neighbours with barking and all the rest of it.

Tolerant nation next door I suspect.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 09/06/2018 23:41

Thanks for that, @Chardonnay. Yes, that’s what she wrote 😐

@KeyboardKate, really? You can’t understand? Humans create wars, main, kill, torture, perform all manner of despicable acts “for fun”. Animals.....not so much.

aaronburr · 10/06/2018 08:04

The people I know with dogs keep them on leads. They are patient with DD and do not roll their eyes at her or make appalling jokes. They do not shove their dog in DD's face to help her fear. They pick up dog mess. Therefore they are not the shits I refer to.

aaronburr · 10/06/2018 08:21

Anybody who is a responsible dog owner and also has empathy towards a child with a fear of dogs would recognise that it is not them I am frustrated with.

Gottagetmoving · 10/06/2018 08:43

Dogs adore you because you feed them, and that's why they are happy to see you. That's really all there is to it. And a dog will be fine rehomed - as long as it is fed, it does not care

That really isn't the only reason a dog 'adores' you. That would apply more to cats.
Although I am critical of bad dog owners, I don't hate dogs. I can recognise and appreciate the benefits of having a dog. There are definite benefits as others have said earlier. It's just a shame some owners treat their dogs like spoilt children and don't respect them as the species they are.

Newerversion · 10/06/2018 08:54

Oh so not all dog owners are shits anymore?

aaronburr · 10/06/2018 09:05

I never said all. I said most.

That was probably unfair of me though and coloured by the experiences we have all the time due to DD's fear.

I would still maintain a lot are shits though.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/06/2018 11:30

Tortoises dont cause wars either Hmm

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 10/06/2018 11:56

DunRoaming - dog owners lack social skills? What, all of them?

You do know the Queen has bred corgis most of her life, don’t you? I’m pretty sure her social skills are better than yours.

angryburd · 10/06/2018 12:13

If your children have an irrational fear of dogs then, I'm sorry to say, that sounds like your problem rather than that of dog owners. But again, this is MN, where having a crippling phobia to something that you will probably encounter every single day of your life is something to be worn as a badge of honour.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/06/2018 12:20

Does that include all the people with anxiety issues in general Hmm