AIBU bloody “dog people”

[mumof2exhausted]

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

@PassMe That sounds like a perfectly sensible and pragmatic approach to take with your daughter.

I wouldn't worry about the dog owner who looked a bit put out - for every one dog owner like that there will be five thinking that your DD is being very sensible even though their dog wouldn't have been bothered, and periodically you will get one that thanks their lucky stars that you have made their lives a bit easier.

I don't understand people who hate dogs yet choose to walk in popular dog walking places like the woods - then come on social media to demand that dogs be banned from the woods because their dc doesn't like dogs

See this attitude really annoys me. 'Popular dog walking places' are often beautiful wide open parks and National Trust land, to be shared by everyone - not entitled dog owners. Why should I go somewhere else?!

Have to say i disagree too with the notion of 'avoid certain areas'

Dog park, okay, yeah don't take your kids there if they don't like dogs. Woods? Unreasonable...where else can you find such awesome trees to climb?? Dogs can't climb trees, so surely THEY should avoid the woods???

We have a heath area here that is a haven for dog walkers....altho it is national park (i think??) land, you rarely see non dog walkers there, they tend to favour the quarry which is equally as beautiful. If you walk the heath without a dog you get looked at like you have four heads!!!

@MustBeMad It sounds like your friend has a dog that is reactive towards other dogs (a layman's term would be dog aggressive)? If so, please point her towards the Facebook group Reactive Dogs (UK). It's a great support network - I use it mainly so I remember that my dog really isn't that bad in comparison - but they also have lots of tips and tricks, and a programme to help such dogs (CARE protocol)

Why should I go somewhere else?!

You shouldn't if you don't want to. But you need to accept that there may be dogs (and dog owners should exercise their dogs responsibly). Then everyone can enjoy the space.

When out for a nice country walk you can get idiot dog owners, and oblivious parents, and dangerous cyclists, and runners who think they own the path... In short, you get idiots in every shape and size. That's life (unfortunately - not in an ideal world).

My leggings got ripped and my leg scratched the other day because a dog jumped up at me when I was walking on the common near my house. Yes we all have to share the paths, but you don't often get a runner who scratches all down your leg and then smiles and says 'oh he's being friendly'...

See this attitude really annoys me. 'Popular dog walking places' are often beautiful wide open parks and National Trust land, to be shared by everyone - not entitled dog owners. Why should I go somewhere else?!

Why should I walk my dog somewhere else other than a woods where she is perfectly allowed to be, just in case someone happens to be in the woods who doesn't like dogs?

Dogs are not allowed on sports grounds or parks where children play and I totally agree with that. Where else can I walk my dog if you don't want me to exercise her in the woods or in the beach?

Non dog owners don't seem to realise that dogs need to be walked for the exercise. Without adequate exercise there would be many more lunatic dogs to contend with. Most dogs need a lot more exercise than a 5min on lead walk around the block.

It's the self important, entitled attitude that gets me. Not the sharing. I do live in the world. I am aware I may encounter another when I venture out of the house.

YANBU

my DS has a fairly nervous disposition anyhow (which is not any dog owner’s problem or concern I realise) but is petrified of dogs now he’s had one too many dogs jump up at him / his pushchair. Out of all of the times it’s happened I’ve only one dog owner apologise to me. Now when we go out he will want to cross the road to avoid a dog. I’ve heard the “oh but he’s friendly and won’t hurt a fly” a million times.

I think it’s mad that people let their kids rush up to dogs though. And shocked by the poster who saw a toddler hit their dog with sticks I would never let ds run up to a strange dog, not that he is likely to!

FWIW, I have the opposite problem to many on here. My dog totally ignores strangers - he's a one (wo)man dog and everyone else that's human is irrelevant to him. Everyone from my flatmate to DM is ignored by him, so it stretches into people he knows well, and those who keep trying to buy his love with food (DGM) - I've never known a dog quite like it.

I've lost count of the number of times people in the park / tube / bus / street have tried to attract his attention so that they can stroke / fuss / generally love him. My dog will almost always completely blank them - at most, he will briefly sniff their fingers - and I end up apologising as the stranger looks most put out!

I'm not sure it's possible to win when you're a dog owner tbh.

And National Trust land - all the ones round here don’t allow dogs, is it not the same nationally? Have to admit it’s one of the reasons I take DS there a lot.

No, but I do get runners who have force me off paths / pavements into ditches / roads. I get cyclists who run the red lights (at some speed) when I'm trying to cross and narrowly miss running me down. I get parents who for some reason believe a small, busy Tesco express is the perfect place to let their child scoot and who ends up careening into the back of my legs.

It doesn't mean all runners / cyclists / parents are irresponsible bastards who should be banned from public places, any more than dog owners should be. We have to share with everyone, and unfortunately that means sharing with the idiots of the world as well. If I was empress of the world, all these people would be banished to the same island where they can piss each other off to their hearts content and leave the rest of us to happily get on with it.

We have a number of National Trust commons and lakes here that are dog walkers havens.

Thank you avocado. I want her to be respectful while also keeping her safe.

We had an unpleasant experience when she was a toddler where an Alsatian/German shepherd cane racing up behind us and and started licking her face all over. The first I had seen of it was when I heard it at the last minute and turned around. I had no idea what it’s intentions were and the split second between seeing it and it licking her was very scary indeed. The dog was completely wild with the owner racing after it shouting “she’s just a baby herself” and “I’ve got a child as well you know”. Now I had said nothing at all to him or to the dog. I pushed the dog off and picked my daughter up at which the dog ran off. His response was almost accusatory and pre-empting me having a go. My daughter was shaken and a bit upset. I told her the dog was really just a baby and that’s how dogs say hello. For ages afterwards she would say “no hello doggy!” Whenever we saw one.

But that’s one poor experience in probably double figures every single day.

True Lockheart - but for me it's the numbers. I live in a semi-rural area and every other person has a dog. I love walking in the beautiful heathland, woodlands and lakes round here and I am fighting my way through dogs constantly. As a pp said, I'm looked at like I have two heads for not having a dog.

No national trust woods near me. I live in an area surrounded by woodland. I have no problem accessing people free woodland walks. It's the self-centred people who take to social media to demand that dogs are banned from everywhere because they don't like dogs that rile me.

Let's be honest no responsible dog owner would allow their dog to destroy a shop would they? No responsible dog owners would take their dog into a shop on an extended lead, would they? And responsible dog owners manage to pick up their dogs mess and manage to not hang it from a tree. Honest!

mustbemad
It must be maddening for your friend to keep getting obnoxious dogs approaching here reactive one. If she feels she absolutely HAS to ward them off (and if hers is on lead/muzzled then she shouldn't really need to and I personally wouldn't) then a water bottle to squirt the oncoming dog in the face would be a little better. As her own dog won't also be getting punished inadvertently by the scary noise. every time it sees another dog it will start to predict two scary things, the dog plus now also the horrid noise too, making it more and more fearful.

Avocados that page is AMAZING they were a god send with one of my dogs. I think tbh the way my friends' dog is, it is about management now rather than trying to change her (long standing issue, old dog). She avoids the 'usual' dog spots but as i say, we have a vast wealth of idiots so even the street walks are hard work!

@PassMe I can see why having a GS launch itself at your child would be rather alarming!

I suspect the reason the GS owner went in on the defensive was that they're often assumed to be a vicious breed, and so their actions are judged far more harshly than a labrador would be for the same actions even when they're complete softies.

My dog is... a work in progress. For context, he's a small 6kg rescue mutt who has come a long way but still has a few idiosyncrasies. There was one unfortunate occasion a few month after I got him where he ran up to a GS and started barking from about a metre away for no apparent reason. GS behaved impeccably, I ran and removed my dog and apologised profusely. Later on in the same walk I was approached by someone who had heard but not fully seen what went on. She assumed that the GS was at fault, took quite some convincing that it was actually it was my dog at fault despite being smaller and cuter, and then commented on what a nice temperament he has...! Small dog privilege is a thing!

I often make a point of telling (friendly) staffies and other similar breeds that they're beautiful. I've seen owners beam because they so rarely get that sort of reaction.

It sounds like what your daughter is doing is very sensible - though of course she's statistically far more likely to be killed or seriously injured by the cars on that road than the dogs

I have a dog and a young child. My dog doesn’t go up to people but if she did, she would be put on the lead. My 2 old boys (now sadly passed away)both Great Danes, didn’t approached people however that never stopped people going up to them to stoke them. Fortunately they were very docile. We did have one man try to put his son on one of their backs, I did say no.
My daughter aged 3 is not scared of dogs however I don’t let stroke other people’s dog as I don’t know them or how they will react. On a dog walk when my daughter was around 18 months, my daughter was nearly bitten on the face by a woman with a collie, she has said to us ‘ oh my dog doesn’t like children’ before letting it off the lead. We had stern words with the woman. Luckily my husband was quick enough to stop the dog.
I’m a responsible dog owner so I don’t let my dog run around picnic areas or bother other people. I expect the same from other people, and that their dogs/children don’t bother her too.

WhoKnows sorry just catching up my internet is pants. Dog is muzzled & double leashed, always under control & kept as quiet as possible. Water sadly had no impact. She started carrying a stick but got into a few sticky situations with it understandably

YANBU. I have a small happy terrier and don’t let him frighten anyone, I’m acutely aware that what some people find cute (his yappy bark) others find frightening. If it helps at all, dog people are inconsiderate to other dog people too. I was walking my dog when heavily pregnant and a massive Doberman came running up to me, I honestly thought it was going to attack my little dog so I picked him up and the Doberman knocked me over trying to get at him. The owner was all “oh he’s just being friendly” and didn’t even help me up. Some dog owners are arseholes and that’s that.

That's a real shame. It's sad that her dog has to endure the noise aversion through no fault of her own.

Personally I'd err on the 'keep as calm as you can and get the stupid owner to get the offending dog asap' approach as her dog can't actually do any damage and is under control but I do understand the frustration that has led her to this point

People who make flippant remarks on MN about "train your bloody dog" often fail to appreciate that there is an inbetween stage where the dog is learning but isn't yet the finished product - and sometimes that dog will forget everything it has been taught about manners and make a mistake - particularly in the teenage months but sometimes at other times too.

Sometimes that dog has come into a rescue as an adult with no training, or even some behavioural issues. Please don't assume that the person holding the lead is the cause of the issue, or that they're not trying to solve it. You don't flick a switch and get a perfect dog, and some of us are doing dog ownership on hard mode.

My dog's specific trigger is motorbikes - and there are many in our part of London and we can't leave the house without seeing one (alas, I gather it's considered disproportionate to ban Deliveroo and Just Eat from operating just because they happen to be the bane of my life). He's perfect in the park, he's perfect in the house, but the street is tricky.

If you see my diving into a driveway to avoid a motorbike and clutching an open tube of Primula cheese, it's because I'm training him, not acting like your neighbourhood weirdo. If you see him barking on the street, please appreciate that there is NOTHING I can do about it until the motorbike leaves, because he's essentially having a meltdown and is past the point of no return. I'm not not training him, I'm just not fighting a battle that has already been lost.

The sheer level of judgement that I've had from clueless members of the public is something to behold. They have no idea what he has been through or how he was failed in the past. They have no idea how much he's improved. They have no idea about how much time, effort and money has gone into fixing him. But they still see fit to tut and make snide comments about both me and my dog. Truly, it is like being the parent of a special needs child who is prone to public meltdowns.

I remember a largish dog- relative to the size of my then 10 yo DS - bounding upto him as we joined the same road going to school gate. Dog leapt around & turned to follow us into school. DS v nervous & dogowner took umbrage, shouting at my Ds & me to come back as dog was friendly & it was silly to be scared. She wouldn't let it go despite me calling as we tried to get into school on, that all was well, we just needed to get going...She had triplets at the same school, same year, so knew she was getting us late, but simply would not stop calling us back to make friends with her dog. Still cannot understand why she went on and on.