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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 04/06/2018 20:44

Rhapsody you'd hate me then...until she was PTS my dog slept on the bed with me. Under the covers & everything. And was allowed on the sofa

midnightmisssuki · 04/06/2018 20:44

Yanbu. Sorry about your son. I have two dogs and always hold them back if I see a child come up to —man-handle— stroke them, to the point where some parents think I’m being too ott about it. It annoys me when people allow their dogs free reign - I have two young children who are used to dogs - it does not mean we want other people’s dogs jumping on them.

Whoknowswhocares · 04/06/2018 20:45

That's precisely my point. She does not shit in the woods or on the beach. She is TRAINED and toilets in my garden well away from you and your children. She is not personally going to impact you.

Ignorant owners with badly behaved dogs, yes absolutely they are a bloody menace to us all.

Just like not all kids are badly behaved, neither are all dogs

Slanetylor · 04/06/2018 20:47

Unfortunately your dog does personally impact me. Because of thoughtless dog owners , the mere sight of your lovely well trained dog would make my daughter cry. That’s not fair on anyone. But the impact of bad dog owners is wide reaching.

NottaNumber · 04/06/2018 20:51

Thanks for the advice. This is what I do already but good to know it's the right thing. I was actually hoping for recommendations of some sort of harmless high-frequency gadget which would deter them when I pressed a button

Whoknowswhocares - the world would be a better place if all dog owners were like you.

Wolfiefan · 04/06/2018 20:53

Slane I'm so sorry. I hope she's getting help for that.

mustbemad17 · 04/06/2018 20:53

NottaNumber there is a corrector spray you can buy that might help. It's literally compressed air in a can, does no physical harm, just makes a loud hissing noise. A friend of mine carries one because she was fed up of her dog getting jumped on walks (her dog is always on lead for various reasons). She said it works a treat as many dogs startle at the noise & buggar off the other way

Whoknowswhocares · 04/06/2018 20:54

Slane
It's at this point the the 'dog brigade' would usually tell you to keep your child away from places where she might encounter a dog isn't it?

I'm not going to do that. I'm sorry your DD has been scared by thoughtless idiots. If it's any consolation, my girl is put back onlead if I see a scared child. Not for my benefit, my dog won't go anywhere near. But for yours, because you couldn't know that

NottaNumber · 04/06/2018 20:55

mustbemad17 Now we're talking Smile

Slanetylor · 04/06/2018 20:58

I do see people as good as you out and about, and notice those gestures. And I always do appreciate it! Thanks.
Dogs are everywhere and can’t be avoided so we’re working on it slowly. Unfortunately it happened at the worst age in her development so is apparently embedded deep in her psyche. I think she’s getting slightly better though.

Whoknowswhocares · 04/06/2018 20:58

mustbemad
OMG that is the most stupid piece of 'advice' ever administered!Bloody Hell!!!

PLEASE PLEASE nobody take any notice of it. If you scare a dog, you make it volatile and potentially dangerous
Sure some will run off, but not all. Fight or flight animals......and if they don't decide to flee, what are you left with? angry

codswallopandbalderdash · 04/06/2018 20:59

YANBU. I am now prepared to take photos and report dogs that are not under control. My DS was terrified as a 2-3 year old by a dog running up to him and then trying to bite my ankle. Owner no where to be seen. And when he did appear (because of hysterical crying) he didn't even say sorry. DS a bit better about dogs now but still nervous / scared. I prefer him being cautious

Wolfiefan · 04/06/2018 21:01

Slane we did a dogs trust course at a local library. No actual dogs. They did a talk about what they do. They told a story of a rescue. They had a fluffy toy. They talked about what to do when you see a dog.
People have "nervous" leads for dogs. Shame people can't have a similar scheme so people like me know to walk away quickly if I see you and your DD coming.
Both of mine have been scared of dogs. One was grabbed by one as a young child. We started with reading a story, cuddly toy, TV shows with friendly dogs on them. Etc etc. eventually they were able to cope with calm dogs on lead. Now they actually live with a dog (they never had a full on phobia though)

mustbemad17 · 04/06/2018 21:01

NottaNumber available in pet shops & Amazon i believe. And as a dog owner if you felt the need to use it on my dog i'd be pissed i'd let my dog annoy you i couldn't start with the whole 'you assaulted my dog' crap.

It is horrible when you see a child terrified of dogs, to the extent that even seeing one sends them into a meltdown. It makes me really angry at the irresponsible dog owners who have directly caused that by being pricks. No way should you have to avoid certain places because some muppet can't or won't control their dog. I'm a firm advocate of informing the DW if somebody's dog is out of hand. Especially if you notice it is a regular thing.

SoftSheen · 04/06/2018 21:02

YANBU. I like dogs, and will probably have a dog one day. However, I do think that dogs should be kept on a lead in public spaces, unless their recall and general behaviour is impeccable.

mustbemad17 · 04/06/2018 21:05

WhoKnowsWhoCares you can be angry all you like!! If you are stood ignoring a dog or walking away from it & it is still jumping at you whilst the owner ignores? Much better a noise than a kick, a stick, or god forbid some concoction of lemon juice & water that people bandy around. Unfortunately not every dog owner is responsible & will allow their dog to continue jumping etc. And a corrector spray which is advocated by many trainers is much more affective than a person screaming or shrieking at a dog.

Mishappening · 04/06/2018 21:10

Oh don't get me started - bloody dogs.

He's just being friendly - FFS.

Whoknowswhocares · 04/06/2018 21:11

Yes some old fashioned trainers still advocate corrector sprays, to be used and timed correctly BY THE OWNERS who have a relationship with the dog and are therefore much more likely to not have the dog react to them. Not something a more progressive modern trainer would promote in any event.
A random stranger doing it in a panic could very easily get bitten. How does that improve anything?

I'm not advocating for dogs being allowed to jump and act like hooligans, far from it. I'd just rather people didn't put themselves in increased danger, unlike you

RhapsodyQueen · 04/06/2018 21:13

You can't see all the feces and anal gland juice that your dog has transferred from its bum to the rest of its fur, but it's there, and it's gross.
You share your home with a creature that scoots its anus along the floor, and you are all good with that?
You think that's just fine. And I'm the bonkers one! Ew.

goes some way to explaining my disgust. Seriously, I don't understand wanting to share my nice clean home with such revolting creatures.
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 04/06/2018 21:14

So much hate here.

Don't be so sad and full of hate.

So many people only have their dogs for company, Children grow up and leave home, the dog stays.

We'll all be old and in need of company. Just be tolerant, doesn't cost much.

mustbemad17 · 04/06/2018 21:15

If a dog was on a lead i wouldn't advocate it, because it would make the dog feel trapped. A free running dog bouncing all over someone? A quick blast of a noise behind your back is enough to make them pause. And no, it isn't old fashioned trainers that advocate it subtle hint at the suggestion of bad trainers there perhaps?

But please, do feel free to give other ways of getting dogs off you when they're jumping & you're scared. I mean, the standing stock still & ignoring or turning your back works a treat, as commented on here by PP

jade9390 · 04/06/2018 21:15

I agree I dislike cats and when they sit on me and claw me, owners say they are being friendly etc. I am a dog lover who misses having a small dog. Not all but some large dog owners are idiots and ones who choose aggressive dogs are like flash car owners, their dogs are often penis replacements. I was with my dog in a park and she was on a lead when a large unleashed aggressive dog grabbed her with his mouth and pulled her away. It took my all my strength to get the other dog off her. There was blood everywhere and kids were crying. I took her to the vet. I knew where the owners lived and sent my brother round. They were in denial, refused to help with part of the bill and could not get it through their thick skulls that it could have been a child.

Slanetylor · 04/06/2018 21:16

I’ve not met many 18 year old dogs? Or near 30 years now with the housing crisis. Or do you mean, you just keep replacing them when they die?

derxa · 04/06/2018 21:19

I like dogs. We have sheep dogs on the farm. I don't like the irresponsible dog owners who can't control their dogs and let them run into our fields and worry sheep. Please be careful with your dog around sheep. A sheep with half its face ripped off is a horrible sight.

Wolfiefan · 04/06/2018 21:23

I'd love to know how "anal gland juice" magically transfers to all of her fur!
She has never scooted her bum across the floor. Grim.
Nobody is asking you to share your house with one. Just respect that some of us do choose to.