Who IBU?

[catsatonthemat]

Sister 1 invited her parents to watch her ds sing in his school choir. It's the only public performance the choir does. Parents (so grandparents) say yes and write it in diary.

Two months later, sister 2 announces that her dd is having a party with all her school friends and would her parents like to go? Sister 1 asks when it is and says that's the date of the choir singing. Sister 2 says it's a joint party and the other mum is booking everything so need to double check date and time.

Some weeks later, sister 2 mentions party again and it does indeed clash with sister 1 choir event. Sister 2 says that parents should go to her dd party because they aren't doing a family thing for her dd party and that sister 1s ds will only be singing for 5 minutes.

Sister 1 points out this has been in the diary for months and parents agree. whilst she understands sister 2 being disappointed, it's prearranged.

Sister 2 cries and says that sister 1s ds doesn't even join in when in choir and so grandparents will just go to see him stood there not joining in. Sister 1 points out that this is not true. DS loves choir and will enjoy seeing his grandparents there as it's a small crowd so will see them. Whereas sister 2s dd will be busy playing with her friends and not care if grandparents are there.

So who is being unreasonable?

Tbh I think both sisters are being U fighting over their parents like kids.
I doubt either child will care.

Sister 2.

You're clearly sister 1 though so it would be interesting to hear from sister 2's side.

Sister 1 is being unreasonable.

Only because you are clearly sister 1 and if you are going to do a "blind" AIBU you should put more effort in to be neutral. The fact you can't makes me suspect sister 2 is probably hard done to.

both - have you always bickered like this - so wearing for your poor parents.

Neither child "has dibbs" on grandparents' time.

Personally would go with whoever booked them first, but would understand if something more vital/important came up that "stuff happens" and plans may change..

they are both being childish - rather silly behaviour from adults really

compromise - parents go to first bit of singing then to the party - job done

see - adulting!

Sister 2's theatrics over a (joint!) Birthday party sound rather manipulative.

I doubt either child will care.

I don't think that's true

The choir is a performance, I know my DC loved having family attending. The party is just a party and it was arranged after the choir performance.

If you're sister 1 then yanbu.

Both are unreasonable.

Presumably the grandparents are fully capable of making their own decisions and having been invited to both and accepted one they will attend one or both events as they see fit without the need for their squabbling daughters to decide for them!