First to grieve

[FlixFlax]

My friends daughter committed suicide three months ago. It was on social media before half her family had been informed. This pissed me off so much. Why do people do that? Making it about themselves for loads of "omg hun you ok?" and "likes"

At least let the fucking family know and for it to sink in first. AIBU?

Who posted it on FB? Her mum? Or her mum's friends?

The DD's friends posted it on social media? I agree that's massively disrespectful to the family.

Who posted on social media? Where they teenagers?

We lost a friend to suicide last year. We don't post on social media like that so not an issue for us but tbh our heads were so frazzled by the sheer horror and unbelievable nature of the events that we could have done anything. Don't judge these people too harshly. Suicide is like a bomb going off in your family and circle of friends. It has unexpected and terrible effects.

Some friends and some people she worked with.

She was 24

OP. They are disrespectful.
Rule number 1 - NEVER post about deaths on social media until immediate family have. If they don't, you don't.

A close relative of mine died a few weeks ago and it still isnt on fb. Those who need to know have been told so no need for fb.

My brother died aged 28 a couple of years ago and one of his 'friends' plastered it all over Facebook while he was still warm and we were waiting for the coroner's van. We hadn't had a chance to ring round the family. I lost my shit and still can't look the fucker in the eye.

The OP is not being unreasonable, even if it was someone dying a natural death and a lot earlier.

Yep, I found out my nana had died via FB and my cousin posted about my dad before we’d managed to tell everyone we needed to. Such s shitty thing to do

I think it can be reasonable if you are the widow, parent or child or sibling of the bereaved, but only then and if you know all the others in that category have been informed.

I found out my uncle had died from FB, because his daughter posted details, followed by other child posting funeral details. It was 3am our time and I had no idea if my mum (his sister) had been informed. Thankfully she had been, around 1am our time, but was in a right state - because I'd seen the FB post in the middle of the night, I could tell her that there were planes to relevant city or nearby city from her local airport and it would be fine getting there for the funeral.

I'd hate to criticise anyone for their behaviour on the day their father died. More distant people? They should STFU on social media until after the funeral.

What is it with people and being the 'first to tell everyone' shit! They're fuckwits

I posted about my mum on Facebook but then there was no risk of anyone who should have known not knowing as I only have 1 sibling and Mum was an only child and I wasn’t told for 4 days.

What is it with people and being the 'first to tell everyone' shit! They're fuckwits

Couldn't agree more

Very , very crass and disrespectful. The news of a loved ones death is so private and personal, it’s theirs to hear first and theirs to disseminate as they and when they can or want to.