Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not stand being around my MIL

5 replies

Cabbagesandgreens · 03/06/2018 14:08

Everything was well when me and my dh first got together and I met his parents and they generally seemed like lovely people, wasn’t really until we got married that dh mother just started to really pick on me. As an example everything I say she debates it and is so condescending. As an example, every year we invite them round for Christmas dinner and last year I decided to cook it and the rest of the family ate it all saying it was delicious of course apart from my mil who said the meat “Itastes too sweet” and ended up not eating any of the dinner at all. I find myself trying so hard to just impress her when I’m with her but she ends up just making jokes about me and even once said to my kids in front of me “I bet you wish I was your mother for at least a week” and laughed. It’s got to the point where I can’t stand to be around her anymore, but I try so hard to keep the peace as I know that dh is very close with his mother and I don’t want to harm their relationship. We have a family holiday this summer and she’s coming along, absolutely dreading it. Also going to mention that she’s absolutely fine with my SIL.

Am I being unreasonable or is she acting oddly with me?

OP posts:
happypoobum · 03/06/2018 14:14

You have a DH problem.

Why is he allowing MIL to be such a cow to you? Why did he invite her on your family holiday if you don't get on?

Caselgarcia · 03/06/2018 14:16

Stop trying to keep the peace, next time she makes a comment that is inappropriate say 'goodness me, did you mean to be so rude?'. Don't ignore her digs and nastiness, draw attention to it when you are in company. I'd jokingly say to DP 'sort her out DP, she's being inappropriate again'. And smile.

liquidrevolution · 03/06/2018 14:19

Why are you training your kids to be doormats? Raise merry hell next time she does this. Its completely unacceptable.

HeebieJeebies456 · 03/06/2018 14:21

well call her out on her shitty attitude then, why do you behave like a doormat?
Stop using your dh's relationship with her as an excuse!
He obviously doesn't give a shit about how you are being treated or made to feel...

sometimes you can't avoid upsetting the applecart in order to deal with the bad apples

FinallyHere · 03/06/2018 15:45

I find myself trying so hard to just impress her when I’m with her

It's just a power game for her, and you have allowed yourself to get sucked in. Instead, when she says such horrible things try a smile and nod, maybe a never mind, don't let her see that her horrible comments have got to you. If you don't care to impress her (and fake it til you genuinely don't care), you rob her of that power.

She doesn't sound like a very nice person, why would you care for her good opinion?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page