To think I’ll never ‘get better’ from anxiety

[Troyes76]

Just that really.
Sometimes I think I’m getting a grip on it, the last few weeks have been good, but tonight it’s just crushing me. I’ve been on meds for years, had CBT but I just go round in circles.
I just wish I could spend a day without constantly worrying.

I’ve been there, so I do sympathise.

The thing that made the difference was CBT but with a psychologist who specialised in trauma because that was where my anxiety stemmed from. IMO the trend for doing computer based CBT etc is no substitute for a session with an actual specialist but it’s a lot more expensive for the NHS (I had private treatment). Sometime you need a different therapist, sometimes a different therapist - there are mindfulness based therapies and a whole host more (good article here: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/body/the-new-wave-of-talking-therapies/amp/ )

I never saw my anxiety as getting better but it did. Hugs, because it’s a horrible thing

(That should say “sometimes a different therapist, sometimes a different therapy” - bloody autocorrect!)

I deve;oped anxiety following an unexpected health crisis, it was initially centred on my health but beacme very general
I had CBT but also some sessions with a OT who talked to me more about the physiology/ neurological aspects of anxiety.
I found these 2 - plus exercise (running) and getting a new job that required a lot of new learning helped massively
I'd say I'm still prone to anxiety many years later but I know hoe to spot it and what to do if it starts.

I'm feeling exactly the same, OP. I haven't taken medication but I've had years of counselling. I had a bad birth with my dd earlier this year and since then I've pretty much spiralled out of control. I'm just not sure what to try next... maybe medication.

You might never be 'cured' but it can release its grip. Mine has. Mindfulness. Sounds like hippy nonsense, actually works.

Thank you , maybe I need to look into CBT or something similar again. I’m currently doing couch to 5k running (well slowly jogging!) and that does help, you’re right. Occasionally I can talk myself down but not always, and I’m so exhausted with it!

I think you can get a better sense of control if you find the right method of dealing, but I agree that you will never be cured of it.

I tend to think of anxiety as a fluctuating thing. I had a few really good years, then last November, for no apparent reason, I had a spiral where I couldn't leave the house. Now I'm back at work and back to my 'normal' but I still struggle and I know to be aware of the warning signs because it will go wrong again sometime in the future. It's just me.

I used to get really down thinking that my anxiety and OCD would never be cured, and sometimes I still do. But learning to accept that this is the card I’ve been dealt, and that I will live my life regardless is helpful. Therapy, exercise, mindfulness - none of it is a cure in the traditional sense of the word, as we’d expect with physical health. It’s all to help you learn coping strategises so that you can live as pleasant a life as possible. Eventually, by finding the coping strategies that work for you, they’ll become second nature, and you will have good days that massively outweigh the bad. And I say all that while currently going through a bad phase at the minute. Just stop thinking about a cure, and focus more on ‘what will make me feel better now?’

I'm sorry you're struggling
I wish I knew the answer. I'm working hard on my anxiety and OCD with CBT (again) and it's hard work.

How horrid for you
I am sorry to hear
I have been there and it’s such a spiral
You poor thing

Exercise helped me find a way out . It inspired me to retrain to teach exercise — post natal depression, Divorce , betrayal, financial worries , heartache , bereavement , day to stress , work overload are not easy . Yet we expect to cope with them .. all at once sometimes
It hasn’t gone away fully but it’s so much more manageable

If you have a sweaty Betty store near you they do free classes
As do lu lu lemon
Local groups .. yoga or pilates
Church hall notice boards

A combo of group exercise( and coffee after ) and solomind clearing time helped me tons . Go out and just walk or run . Or dance . Dance round the Lounge or kitchen in your nightie —hairbrush Music , diva power , salsa .
I had to force myself at times. I still do occasionally

You can become “ bigger “ than it I have learnt
I really struggled due to various circumstances

I also think “ voicing it “ as you have done here is helpful
Be proud of the small victories you have over it
And listen to others

We are here for you op

I took anti depressants for months
It helped
Then I stopped

I learnt I am not invincible
I never shall be .. I know I am vulnerable
But I can be careful who and what I engage with

Sending you much positive energy

Like @BrightYellowDaffodil I'm also wondering about trauma... It's a lot more common than people realise. Trauma isn't just about war, for example it can be anything that made you feel desperately afraid but unable to do anything about what was happening.

CBT can be a helpful tool, but it's not right for everyone (especially if trauma has a role) and also if it's not the right therapist. There are other kinds of therapies, sometimes just having a therapist who will work with you just to have the experience of feeling safe talking to them can make a huge difference, rather than somebody who gives you worksheets and homework (I.e. Not an IAPT therapist).

I've felt the way you describe. I still do sometimes. It sucks, and I'm really sorry you're going through it.

I don't think you're doomed to always struggle this much.

I felt like I was going round in circles, getting nowhere. Being reassessed by a team with an understanding of trauma made a huge difference to me, and helped me access more appropriate support. Also reading up on different things (not the books that are basically manuals on how to give yourself CBT and beat yourself up for having the "wrong" thoughts). There's Compassion Focused Therapy (the compassionate mind approach to trauma is a good book, whether you think you have trauma or not tbh). Some people find EMDR helpful. Lots of people swear by art therapy. Internal family systems therapy, trauma sensitive yoga (which is also general anxiety friendlier - the teacher won't ever touch you or rush you, etc)...

But finding solidarity online has also made a difference - having a space to talk and share and use humour to take the piss out of it with other people who understand what it's like. And also to find support from them on the really bleak days. (If you use Twitter, #madtwitter has lots of kind and funny people there, but it might take a while to figure out if you're not a regular Twitter user, as they don't all tag every single tweet with that.) I think Mind still run Elefriends which is an online space.

I hear you, just know it's not as hopeless as it might feel tonight.

@Dsc1907 is quite right, trauma and PTSD don’t have to stem from being in a war zone, it can be domestic abuse or illness or any other situation where you can’t control things and live in a state of fear. I’m my experience, it rewired my brain to be in a constant state of hyper-vigilance and fear, and it’s absolutely exhausting. When I didn’t have anything ‘proper’ to worry about my brain invented something because that was the only way it knew how to behave any more. When I started therapy, my psychologist likened the treatment to replacing the software on a computer; deleting the bad software and replacing it with functional stuff.

Something else I’d recommend is Ruby Wax’s book Sane New World - it helped me to understand what was going on in my head and made me less afraid of “going mad”. It’s just chemicals misbehaving! She also has Mindfulness For The Frazzled.

In, not I’m

I have found it very helpful when I started to see the anxiety as a valuable part of me, rather than something like a tumor to be cut out. I’m very sensitive and can be hyper aware of nuances that seem to pass other people by. I think my anxiety is the difficult side of this. Mindfulness has been incredible, as I’ve learned to tune in to my anxiety instead of trying to tune it out which only makes it stronger.
I’ll always be prone to anxiety and to depression, but through mindfulness I’m getting to know myself very well, and beginning to like myself too.

You can recover from it

I recovered from very severe anxiety that left my virtually housebound and unable to work for eight years. I had intense CBT on the NHS (22 sessions over 7 months) with a great therapist and turned my life around.

I am now a fully functioning adult recently promoted to a managerial role (unthinkable before) and anxiety does not plague me anymore.

Not helpful to you op I know
But I just want to say what great responses
I too loved the ruby wax book mentioned

I can’t figure out how to highlight names on here op but I so hope any of it is helpful to you
Oh for a magic wand
I would be like a kid with a sparkler on bonfire night for you

You're not alone OP. I go through phases/cycles with my anxiety and depression and it's exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of options. I don't take antidepressants because they absolutely do not work for me ( I know they work for some people) I'm always reluctant to go back to the Dr because this is always the first thing they offer. Luckily one of the Drs at my practice is well aware of my issues and doesn't try to push them on me any more. Unfortunately it's very difficult to get an appointment with her. I was diagnosed (rather belatedly) with PTSD after my first DD's birth and it's never really been dealt with properly so this thread has given me some useful suggestions - thank you x

I'm the same and I don't think it will ever go away

I’m the same, up and down like a yo yo over the years

I wouldn’t mind having it, as long as it didn’t get so intense and as such an impact on my life.
It not just the high anxiety it’s the depression that creeps in and bites you on the bum. Vicious circle

I’ve had it since I was 22 now 60(some good years, some bad years)

I’m currently going really bad episode, since Oct
I’ll have few days days where I can get by and feel relaxed then wham from nowhere I’ll wake up with a surge on adrenaline in my stomach/chest and it will start the thoughts off.
It’s so hard to get yourself feeling good again, to me it’s like the life’s been sucked out of me.

Dp is so positive and will say things
Like “don’t think about it”
You just can’t push it away and pretend it’s not there when your full of adrenaline and flat as a pancake

I’ve tried lots of things over the years nhs and more so privately
No cure yet
Currently on nhs list for level3 psychology, which I’ve been told will be within next 2 weeks. Hope it’s not form filling, as that doesn’t work for me.
Think I’m waiting for a miracle pill/cure

With me I think I have to much time on my hands, but I’m not in the right place or enough courage to relax enough to go to any classes. As I find it difficult at me to even go se family.

So today, I’ve had a shit morning wake up, but the suns shining and I’m going to get in the garden and try to be positive

So to all of you ladies struggling sending a big hug

I've really needed this thread this morning - I've struggled in the past, and have been doing pretty well over the last year or so, but I'm having a flare at the moment, and it's difficult to find a balance between acknowledging the anxiety, and dwelling on it. Going to look into some of the things above.

You’re anxiety will always be there BUT you will learn how to manage it and it won’t intrude into your life in the way it is now. Some anxiety is normal and what you are learning now will allow you to identify when your anxiety is proptionate and when it isn’t. You can recognise your triggers then and how to manage and reduce your stress to stop it getting out of control.
I’ve had GAD and OCD for about 15 years and the despair and debilitating panic I had in those early days before my conditions were managed rarely appears these days.

I don't have any answers as I feel the same. I hope this thread has helped OP and others who feel alone in their anxiety.

I have been on and off meds for depression and anxiety for a long time and like others, have long spells where I feel great, then spiral downwards.

Last year we had to cope with a horrible situation, which had massive impact on one of my children. I can't drop the 'danger mode' I was in all last year. I am constant alert for the next problem, the next horrible thing.

I have found the recent good weather has helped as I have been walking lots, sitting and reading in the sun and focusing on the many positives in my life.

But then a simple thing can set me off and I'm worrying to the point of tears and feel stupid and 'mad'. I actually hate myself at these times which makes it worse.

I am starting some counselling this week so hopefully that will help.

Let’s me here for each other
Wether that’s when we’re struggling
Or anything that might of worked for you

St the moment I’m read a book(well picking up now & then don’t want everything to be about depression/anxiety)
I found it advertised in the Psychologies Magazine called
REAL STRENGTH
It’s one you can pick up and just read what your difficulty
Ie tackling change, how do you deal with uncomfortable feelings etc

Wise wise words from you all, thank you so much for your ideas. The image of ‘rewiring’ I get completely, even if I have nothing to worry about, my brain will find something to worry over.
I’m feeling a little better today, I will look into some other therapies from all your ideas, hope today is going well for each of you

I've been there. Actually, a turning point for me was accepting that I'll always have some degree of anxiety and that is part of who I am but doesn't need to define me. That acceptance plus learning some coping mechanisms made a big difference to me. I think it comes in waves and you will have periods of being more anxious and periods of being less anxious.