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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not let her go ahead of me

52 replies

DarkRosaleen · 02/06/2018 18:48

DH and I flew back from holiday yesterday. We sat in the middle and aisle seats next to an exit, so we had lots of leg room. When we reached the seats I was standing and sorting my seat belt whilst DH put the bag in the overhead locker. I wasn’t farting about but the window seat passenger just pushed past me to take her seat. DH and I raised our eyebrows and exchanged a look.

When the plane landed, we all stood up, DH opened the locker to retrieve my handbag and she pushed passed me again to stand in the aisle and get her wheelie type small suitcase which she left in the aisle and then returned to her seat where her handbag was. No excuse me, or gesture to ask me to move. Just barged me out of her way.

DH was still in the aisle and I stood in front of him. Bargetta ( as I like to call her) was clearly frustrated at having to stand in the seating area and not the aisle. She tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at the case and said it was hers and she wanted to stand in front of me. The queue in the aisle was stationery, everyone was still pulling their stuff down and the door wasn’t open yet. She explained that she was in a hurry to disembark. Because she had made my hackles rise, I said no. She said she had a bus to catch. I said (truthfully) that so did we and probably so did a lot of the other people on the flight. She tried to argue with me but I turned away and didn’t engage.

DH and I are not rude and are quite happy to wait our turn in a queue and to let passengers in seats ahead of us get their stuff and go in front of us. Equally we are happy to wait when getting on the flight to let people take their time to stow their bags and settle into their seats.

Anyway we made our way off the plane but noticed a family with young children slipped in behind us and we could hear her tutting and even a hiss. DH said when she was behind him, he could feel her pushing him and he had to brace himself against a seat to prevent him going into me. She also hit the back of his legs with her case but DH thinks this could have been accidental.

When we got off the plane she ran along the corridor in front of us but as she was wearing high heels she really didn’t make much of a head way and we actually cleared passport control and customs ahead of her.

For full disclosure she was immaculately dressed and groomed. She was in her 50s and was foreign. Possibly from the Mediterranean country where we had our holiday.

Was I a cah? Should I have let her go in front?

OP posts:
DickensianHysteric · 02/06/2018 19:26

YANBU. I would have walked off that plane as slowly as possible!

FreeMantle · 02/06/2018 19:28

It's not a "queue" though. If people are ready to get off just let them off.

Why do people think it's ok to hold up the 15 rows behind them just because they are further down the plane. If you know you have to get two bags, a coat and a load of duty free from a rammed overhead locker ,then wait until the people who don't, have skipped out of your way
Not rocket science.

DarkRosaleen · 02/06/2018 19:30

@FreeMantle
You beg to differ? How could you possibly judge? We reached our seats, DH opened the overhead locker to put the bag in, I moved the seatbelt off the seat so I didn’t sit on it and she barged behind me to get to her seat.
We were quick and efficient.

OP posts:
OutofTyme · 02/06/2018 19:30

I don't blame you for not feeling kindly disposed towards her after she had the cheek to barge past you without even saying 'excuse me'. Manners cost nothing. And coming from a country where people don't queue is no excuse for her behaviour either.

HyacinthsBucket70 · 02/06/2018 19:33

It bewilders me where people think they are rushing off to...... airports are basically just complex queueing systems and you get through one to go to another. I have zero patience for pushers. You were far politer than I'd have been OP Blush

Rainbunny · 02/06/2018 19:35

Not unreasonable at all. Sometimes it's one of life's evil little pleasures to know that you're frustrating the efforts of a rude entitled person. You just provided some balance to the universe that's all Grin

DarkRosaleen · 02/06/2018 19:37

Balancing the universe? Hmm 🤔. I like that!

OP posts:
sonjadog · 02/06/2018 19:40

I want to know who are you flying with that you have room to barge in front of people getting in and out of seats.

CatkinToadflax · 02/06/2018 19:40

People getting off planes can be completely nuts. I once had a woman tap me on the shoulder and demand loudly and quite aggressively to know why I'd just pushed past her, when I hadn't - I was standing stationary in the aisle and waiting in the same long non-moving queue as everyone else! Confused There does seem to be an obsession with shoving off the plane and getting to wherever else you need to be as quickly as physically possible. Hmm

Honeyroar · 02/06/2018 19:41

I'm cabin crew, I can't tell you the number of times Ive had a wheelie bag dragged over my feet by someone trying to get off a second quicker than everyone else. Most people just laugh at them. They're like the idiots on a motorway that sit on your bumper on a motorway flashing at you, despite the fact that there's a queue of cars in front of you and nowhere for you to go. You can't argue with stupid.

strawberrylove · 02/06/2018 19:42

There's more to life than worrying who gets off the plane first. Just let her past and think nothing more of it. Better to just let her go past than stress yourself out over how rude she's being. Don't get wound up over it, not worth it 😊

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/06/2018 19:42

She was being a total self-absorbed idiot. I would have been infuriated too.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/06/2018 19:44

I don't blame you, OP. The woman's manners were lacking.
Queueing/waiting your turn is an alien concept in some countries - it's considered normal to push/shove/barge.

Americans queue, only they don't call it queueing - they call it 'waiting in line'.

FASH84 · 02/06/2018 19:44

Ahhh such a wasted opportunity this would've been the perfect time for DH to use the classic 'did you mean to be so rude? You seem to be hitting my legs with your case when there are 100 stationery people in front of me blocking the way'

HotSauceCommittee · 02/06/2018 19:47

Fuck her! Bashing your DH with a suitcase? Barging you both? Fuck that, you give that rude fucker no favours.

GoldPlatedChaos · 02/06/2018 19:48

I fly several times a month and there is always one that tries this. I now say very firmly as soon as the pushing starts "are you in a particular rush".

Most have the good grace to apologise, one even approached me in the passport with a proper apology. I think people just get "in the zone" and forget themselves.

OutofTyme · 02/06/2018 19:52

'There's more to life than worrying who gets off the plane first. Just let her past and think nothing more of it. Better to just let her go past than stress yourself out over how rude she's being'

Sure, just be a doormat in life and let people walk all over you 😬

InkSnail · 02/06/2018 19:59

Not being the bravest, I'd probably treat a tailgater on foot in the same way as a tailgater by car - let them go in front so you can get rid of them!

However I really like your "are you in a particular rush?" Gold, might try that one...

Jammycustard · 02/06/2018 20:06

Where are these ‘non-queuing countries’ out of interest?

OutofTyme · 02/06/2018 20:07

I've experienced non queuing in Germany. People just used their elbows!

Eveforever · 02/06/2018 20:08

If she was in such a rush maybe she should've been a bit more courteous to people around her, because people are more likely to help you out if you're not rude. That's not rocket science either.

I'm all more rising above it, but nobody's a saint and sometimes karma is a bitch.

MereDintofPandiculation · 02/06/2018 23:01

Some cultures don't do the queuing, turn taking, and saying "excuse me" that we do. If you think she was from the country where you'd just been on holiday, she may have been being perfectly polite according to her culture. So she wouldn't have had a clue as to why you were being arsey.

morningtoncrescent62 · 02/06/2018 23:10

Thing is, if none of you are going anywhere (i.e. the plane doors are still closed) then it just delays things if people are trying to push past others for a quick exit. The quickest way off the plane is for everyone to disembark in turn. People trying to save a few seconds by squeezing past others who also want to leave the plane are not helping, whether they do it politely or not.

OutofTyme · 03/06/2018 04:12

'she may have been being perfectly polite according to her culture. So she wouldn't have had a clue as to why you were being arsey.'

Well, that really is just a load of bolleaux.

AjasLipstick · 03/06/2018 04:31

I tend to be overly gentle with people like this on flights because in my mind, they might be going home to sort out a death in the family.