To live between two places

[downbutnotout2018]

Recently got a job 3 hrs away from 'home' so have rented a small place there (no garden) and work there in the week, with the kids (DD, 7 and DD 4) in school in the new place in the week, then travel 'home' whenever we can at weekends (3 hrs on a Friday night and back again another 3 hours on a Sunday). Is this is confusing lifestyle for kids - and am I stopping them from forming real roots in each place, or is this ok do you think?

Why don't you move to a village just outside your new place?

You can't do this for long, for your sake and the children's. You need to live in one place. They will start wanting to do weekend things with their school friends. You'll need time for chores at home. Having to have two of everything or lug it all back and forth grows old really quickly. So fine, if you think it's worth it for a year. But I wouldn't plan on doing it longer than that because it's a drain on everyone physically and emotionally.

You should look to start the new school year at the latest in the new place. Children will adapt better than you think.

To be honest, I think YABU if you haven’t got any savings. You are obviously spending a lot of money running 3 households and travelling so far every weekend - surely that should be saved for the children’s future instead. Plus, it really isn’t fair on the kids to not be putting down roots in the area they go to school

Is there anyone at ‘home’ that you can stay with for one or 2 weekends a month? Or any airb&b’s nearby?

I grew up with the exact same arrangement; everyone's hearts were definitely at home. We all now live in the same home area - we all hated the weekday city. It did us no harm. Just had friends in both places, hobbies were mainly at home and occasionally did weekends in the city we didn't like to do social things with friends there.

clairedelalune, good to hear it didn't do you any harm! Did you find any benefits at all (trying to look on the bright side) and how long did you live like that for?

Nixen - is it half a life, or 2 lives? I keep thinking both!