Am I over reacting or is my boss inappropriate

[notyourbaby]

My boss calls me and all the other young girls who work here 'baby' or 'gorgeous' and it makes my skin crawl. It's just really unprofessional and makes me uncomfortable. I have asked him not to call me these on many occasions but he does not stop. We are a small business with no proper HR, the woman who does HR here is his fiancé and she just laughs it off and says it's how he talks to everyone.

Everyone else seems okay with it, if I mention it they laugh and say "yeah it's gross isn't it" but evidently no one cares as much as me. It's gotten to the point I avoid my boss because the second he calls me baby or gorgeous I just get so grossed out I don't want to be around him. He will also just ask weird questions about my partner and relationship and when I say I don't feel comfortable answering he'll just whisper "loosen up baby"

It's making me want to quit. I love my job and everyone else here I just don't like being around him, am I over reacting? What can I do?

You're not overreacting, no. You shouldn't have to put up with that crap. I worked as a legal secretary in a place where one of the male lawyers kept calling me "babe" once and I hated it, it made my flesh crawl and I found it so demeaning. Luckily I was a temp so didn't have to put up with it for long.
I'm not really sure what you can do in your situation I'm afraid, especially as you don't have an HR department. Sorry I can't be more helpful!

Sorry I can’t help much either, just want to say you are not over reacting.
I had a similar experience. Colleague who called all women sweetheart. I asked him not to call me that and he never did again but continued with everyone else unless they said anything. The he calls everyone - no not everybody, just women - that line really is such a shit excuse really.

I would quit.

Organisations without proper HR are doomed to situations like this. A real HR function is a must when I'm looking for a job.

No you aren't overreacting. If you can do so, I'd look to leave.

Unless you and your colleagues are under 16 you aren't young girls, you're young women. Young girls are children.

“Loosen up baby”???!!

🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

That's not acceptable. Personally I would speak to the HR woman, fiancée or not, and keep it factual. Just say that you find it very unprofessional and that it makes you feel uncomfortable, that you're not the only one but are the only one who will speak up. Re-iterate that, as the HR professional in the company you are looking for her support in ensuring the behaviour changes for the good of the business.

You are not over-reacting. I bet he doesn't address men like that

How long have you worked there? He should not be able to get away with it. I would personally raise it as a formal grievance (even of this is just an email to his fiance) and if not dealt with I would join a union and look into leaving but take legal action for constructive dismissal. It's whether you want to fight that battle.but honestly men need to sort their shit out and stop talking to women like this

Every time he does it reply with the answer followed by dickhead. If he complains tell him its just what you do and tell him to loosen up dickhead

Say to him, do you know you sound like a sleazy old man, not only is it unwanted as I've told you before, but you're embarrassing yourself.

Re-iterate that, as the HR professional in the company you are looking for her support in ensuring the behaviour changes for the good of the business.

HR are there to protect the business, not the workers.

He's a creep, but he's not doing anything unlawful. OP I can understand why you don't like it, but realistically your only option is to seek alternative employment.

but take legal action for constructive dismissal.

Which she wouldn't stand a hope in hell of winning. Less than 5% of constrictive dismissal claims result in a successful award. The OP's situation isn't even near the threshold.

More than inappropriate. I agree, write a formal complaint so that you have evidence of this if it will affect your CV, and find yourself a new job.

Asking weird questions about your partner and your relationship is unlawful, it's a type of sexual harassment. Email ACAS using quotes of the conversation and discuss their response with the HR lady.

Personally I wouldn't take the chance of calling my boss a dickhead, but would respond babe>granddad , gorgeous>wrinkly etc... just so you can argue it's a response in kind.

“Loosen up baby”?! Is he Austin Powers?

I couldn’t work for someone like that, definitely inappropriate

Asking weird questions about your partner and your relationship is unlawful, it's a type of sexual harassment. Email ACAS using quotes of the conversation and discuss their response with the HR lady.

I agree with this.

If you are all girls - as in children working part time rather than adults- then you need to discuss his actions and comments with your parents. That’s very dodgy behaviour around underage girls.

Urghh... so sleazy.

You could start recording every incident and get some legal advice.

You could respond each time please stop that makes me feel very uncomfortable. Or just ask why each time. Why did you call me babe? Why are you asking me to loosen up? Why is this important? Why do you keep calling me babe?

You could leave.

Say "ewwwwwwwwww!" loudly every time he says it. And tell the fiance she is being very unprofessional.

New job.

That amounts to sexual harassment. The fact that he does it to everyone is irrelevant.

You have told him to stop... you've told HR.

Do they own the company? If not ...
. I'd be keeping a diary and filing for sexual harassment.

We had to let an employee go recently because of this. He did it to everyone, didn't help him. Treating people equally bad isn't acceptable.

If his partner has half a brain...she'd know better.

I bet he wears his shirts with a few too many top buttons undone.

Ewww no.

New job