Which one of us is wrong!?

[Rubyritz]

I met up with my friend yesterday. We haven’t seen each other in 5 months and contact has been hit and miss.

She split up with her long term partner 10months ago and has been living a wild single life. Her social media is full of happiness or so it seemed.

I have sent the odd text and have sometimes got blanked and she didn’t let on she felt low or sad ect.

When I told her yday she’s kind of disappeared she blamed the whole thing on me. Said I wasn’t there for her, I didn’t text or call and she felt a burden around my house??

When I called her out on it she couldn’t give me a reason why she felt this way. When I showed her I had text her and she had blanked me all I got was oh!

I am pissed off with her. This past 6 months have been rough I had a bereavement, a car accident and surgery where I was bed bound for a month and she never text or rang me once! When I told her this she went I’ve been having the time from hell?
But when I said yeah but my grandmother died? And you didn’t message her response was you didn’t message me? And then I went yes but someone DIED!! And you didn’t message.

she moved house and didn’t tell me about it because it was all hush but then was annoyed because I haven’t came to see her or ask about it?
Yes- I am annoyed too because you’ve kept it a secret... why? You don’t keep secrets from friends. I can’t visit if you don’t tell me where it is?

Now I know she hasn’t messaged since because she’s been annoyed with me. Then it was her godchilds birthday and she didn’t get him a card or a present. And that really was low in my eyes as a child doesn’t deserve to be bought into it. Her excuse was that she knew there was awkwardness between us and she didn’t want to come round the house.

I’m sorry But I don’t feel I am in the wrong. Yeah I could of messaged more but someone who portrays a perfect life on social media and on text message was clearly hurting behind the scenes. I told her I am not a mind reader.

It ended with me apologising but her not. She felt apologies wasn’t needed. But I feel really annoyed to think everything was blamed on me. AIBU?

Why are you even friends? Couldn't be bothered with the effort or drama.

I think this friendship has run its course.

Clearly you feel very hurt and let down, but I don't think your friend is going to shape up. Sometimes you have to let people go and this sounds exactly like one of those times. It's just not much of a friendship is it..

perhaps the friendship has run it's course?

It sounds like neither of you were there for each other particularly/or if one of you tried, then you weren't the right one or what the other one needed.

Sorry that you've had a hard time recently.

You need to apologise for assuming- which you did, but she also needs to accept that she shouldnt have assumed you were a mind reader and should have contacted you.
Such drama over miscommunication. You've done your bit, now it's up to her.

I think it’s rediculous. It was all me apologising and her not apologising or seeing where she went wrong.

Like I said I tried and then I stopped trying and then life sucked for a few months.

I said I like friendships that realise life happens and then you pick up where you left off non of this drama stuff.

I would feel slightly bad if she didn’t have no friends or family but she was appearing to lead the happy single care free life!?

And took zero responsibility for any of her part to play in it. I’m fuming in all honesty.

I agree. It's run it's course. Happens sometimes.

It sounds like you'll just go back to being the one who makes all the effort.

When she said she didn't feel apologies were needed, I would have sacked her off for good.

It's not working. She's going through a manic stage and you're hurting from a few things so communication is out of sync.

Leave it be, perhaps you'll be friends again in due course when you're on a more even keel.

I think you are done here. Either you move forward as very casual friends or accept that you both are a bit selfish and want more out of this friendship than you are prepared to put in and let it go.

Sounds exhausting, overly dramatic and a waste of everyone's time.
Call time on it OP.

So ten months ago she split up with her long term partner, and you responded with 'the odd text'.

Surely as her friend you didn't believe the images on social media? You must know how much it hurts when a long term relationship ends, and how much you need your friends.

Four months after her separation, during which time you hadn't offered her any support at all, your own difficult period started and you experienced bereavement, a car accident and surgery. Did you really expect her to step up for you then?

To me, everything seems to have stemmed from the fact that you didn't care very much when she was heartbroken. I think you were right to apologise and yes it probably is time to call it a day on this friendship.