Don’t think I want to go on this holiday now

[Renardo]

I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first baby after a very long journey of IVF, loss and disappointment. My husband and I are cautiously happy now I’m just in the second trimester but taking nothing for granted. He has a business with his best friend and they need to sort out some changes, technology etc however it’s quite difficult as he doesn’t live in the same part of the country as is. So the three of us decided to treat ourselves to a nice holiday abroad, where we’ll rent a house with a pool and literally just chill for a week - we thought it would serve as a bit of a baby moon for myself and my husband as well while they can get the work done together. We did invite a few other friends but none can make the dates but the three of us are close and as it’s not a party holiday we were all looking forward to just relaxing and catching up.

Except...just today the friend announces that he’s seeing a new girl, it’s been less than two weeks and he reckons he’s bringing her on the holiday. I don’t know if I’m hormonally emotional or what but it’s completely ruined the whole idea for me. I just can’t be arsed spending the holiday with a stranger. Especially as it’s just the four of us and they’ll be doing their work during the day so I’ll be expected to entertain her. I’m sure she’s lovely but I’ll be six month pregnant almost by the time it comes around, I want to feel comfortable. This mate has a history of foisting his out of nowhere serious relationships on us, we’d one come to our wedding and he just finished with another a couple of months ago who came and stayed at our house more than once, (that was particularly intense because he also took on her two children and from day one was acting like their dad, only to break up with her once we’d all become friends)and I’ve never once complained about him forcing us into these horrible fake intimate situations where we all know (except the girl) that it will probably be sacked off sooner rather than later. My husband annoyed me by not immediately saying “no, let’s not go on holidays with people you’ve just met” so now it’ll be a big issue if we’ve to turn around and say it’s me who doesn’t want it. He’s said he’ll deal with it but I just know he’ll let it go on so long that it’ll be too late and I’ll look like a lunatic for kicking up a fuss. Plus he’s pointed out that it’s the friend’s holiday too and I do get that.
I’m just fed up about it. Am I being unreasonable?

Yup, they will be loved up and wanting to spend all their time together, so it will work in your favour.

Thanks so much for all the perspectives, I really appreciate it. I think I’m only recently starting to let myself feel a bit happy about this pregnancy albeit extremely cautiously. We haven’t even told many people except very close ones, including our friend and it was his suggestion we all go away and relax together “after everything we’ve been through” his words. So I suppose my idea idea of the holiday suddenly changed yesterday when he said he’s going to ask this girl he’s literally just met. My husband feels the same but I guess it doesn’t affect him as much, or else the lack of hormones lets him have a different view! I think We are going to have to at least raise it with him and make it clear I’m not there to entertain her during the day until it’s suits him. But I do see that it’s his holiday too. Thanks so much, everyone. X
PS Am I wrong about calling it a baby moon? I thought that’s what people called a little holiday before everything changed. I’m very new at this

i feel sorry for the friend who was expected to be the gooseberry on holiday!

you're an adult, communication is easy - just tell him straight you will be doing your own thing when dh is working, so he needs to make sure his gf has her own plans for when he's not around

You’re not wrong that a baby moon is the holiday you go on before everything changes with the arrival of a baby. But I think that generally the future parents go away just the two of them - hence the similarity to honeymoon.

Is this being funded as a business trio?

Trip trip trip not trio

As it's more a working holiday and other mates were originally invited I wouldn't really see it as a babymoon. I'd definitely go but not feel obliged to entertain her. I'm sure she won't expect it either - she'll probably want to lay by the pool or go off and do her own thing. I assume she knows you're pregnant so won't want to go hiking off in the heat etc.

No not funded as a business trip, just an opportunity for both guys to be in the same place to get through some work while also have sun and chill time. We had been talking about renting a house ourselves and husband said the friend wanted to come along too, get a bigger house etc and the idea got legs and became what it is. We definitely wouldn’t expect him to be gooseberry to be clear, we’ve been away in a three before, it was more of a likeminded people trip ie not bothered about going out too much or doing touristy things or partying. If he was in an established relationship I’d have no problem at all or if we were all in a hotel maybe. But I’m literally sharing a house with a stranger. As is he because he hardly knows her!