Help please. Narc STBXH lying and gaslighting STILL

[Flappypants]

Hi

I'm in the middle of a terrible situation...got this thread going but need help now...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3251590-AIBU-to-ask-how-you-co-exist-during-divorce-helll

Narc STBXH has told out and out lies in his response to my petition today. He says he has always driven safely with the children and has never behaved sexually inappropriately around them. He says he has never taken photos of my journal. He has never checked my phone. He has never joked about killing me and disposing of my body using acid or pigs. Or kissing me and putting his hands on my throat whilst doing so. He does not accept my petition. My solicitor has written back saying we are not backing down and perhaps he would like to suggest amendments. He has tried to cross-petition with a pathetic and frankly hilarious petition saying things like I was messy and I didn't like his daughter. My solicitor thought it was brilliant.

And now he is gaslighting me about arrangements for this weekend having had me and the children dance to his tune over half term because he was away on a conference and I took them to family which I always do. He wasn't even going to see them but wabted us in the house where he could keep us on a leash. When I went anyway having taken legal advice he wanted to talk to the children three times a day. After each call.they became agitated and unsettled AND he couldn't keep to three of his allotted and agreed times!!! Even DS said "why does Daddy want to talk again - he doesn't normally do that." I have it in black and white that he suggested splitting Sunday. I've sent him the screenshot.

I want us out of here. Strategically we should stay. Emotionally and psychologically we need to get the fuck out. Women's Aid told me three weeks ago to go.

I won't go into detail as my tales of narc xh woe are legendary and very outing!
I moved out with dc. It was unbearable. The fmh had to be sold ages later as part of the divorce, he was furious as he thought I should let him have it. Getting out was the best thing I did, not only for me, but dc. Our living arrangements were utterly toxic and I was very afraid he would hurt me really badly one day.
Divorce process was dreadful and how I didn't become an alcoholic I don't know. We've been divorced some time but I still get the most awful long, ranting texts every couple of months.
Get out, keep your babies safe and be brave. It won't be easy but it will be worth it.

It is unbearable in the house. I'm setting the wheels in motion

You need to prioritise your sanity, can you get a refuge place?

I will call them tomorrow but I'm so worried about disrupting and upsetting the children, not to mention what his reaction will be and the fallout. He will say I'm mentally unstable and use my pnd and times a long while ago now when I self harmed, attempted suicide and whacked him (driven by psychological torture and mental cruelty and gaslighting by him) against me. He has pulled those things on me.

Only you know the truth. And you do in your heart despite the gaslighting. You recognise it now. You can hold on with any strength you have if that's what you feel is necessary for the children, or if its too much for everyone and you feel in danger get out now.

Physical danger, not really. But women's aid told me this is the most vulnerable time for women leaving. He has joked about killing me and disposing of my body using acid or pigs. Ha ha. Then denied it saying why would he joke about such a thing when I'd tried to take my own life!

A refuge would be a good thing for you and the DC you can effectively disappear for a few weeks and apply for residency if the DC are at risk of failure to return after contact