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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to take a young child on holiday abroad?

123 replies

Faerie87 · 01/06/2018 16:55

I am expecting baby number 1 in the next week. My partner and I have no holidays planned this year or the following year because of the new arrival. However I know my partner would most likely want to go on holiday the year after when I am back at work and earning again.

Is it unreasonable of me to think a holiday with a one year old abroad is a massive waste of money?

My partner, his daughter who is 11 and myself a long with my sister, her husband and two children who are 5 and 2 went to Disney Land Paris last year and my sister now regrets going. The 2 year old was really ill and ended up being sick on the train from the terminal at the airport and then for a day after that and her 5 year old was so overwealmed by the experience she did not really want to do anything!

Would you take little ones on holiday abroad or is it too much hassle? We are planning if we did have a break next year to do the Lakes or Wales but not to go abroad due to traveling with a small child. Also when would be a good age to start taking children overseas?

OP posts:
bookmum08 · 03/06/2018 07:54

Costacoffeeplease both me and my daughter are receiving lots of help and support. But even without anxiety I probably wouldn't be taking her abroad because I can't afford it. We do have holidays - in the UK visiting family and camping and there are other events and things we go to or would like to go to that we have to pay out for.
So perhaps I should say 'it's a shame' that so many children in the UK have never been a on a steam train ride or a farm in the country or a village summer fayre where they get to race ducks or a canal festival or a bus tour of a city or visited Beckenscot Model Village or Wicksteed Park which are two of my favourite places!!
But it's OK - they have experienced a generic kids club at some hotel in Greece or whatever!!

Quartz2208 · 03/06/2018 07:56

Of course you don’t have too. That said been taking my two away since they were 5 and 7 months (had a gap when the littlest was born) and always had a lovely time

BendydickCuminsnatch · 03/06/2018 07:56

We did a lot of travelling with ds1, thinking about it foreign travel was all after age 1. He won’t remember it but me and DH bloody will!! So glad we did it. In October DS2 will be almost 1 and we’re going to Florida, then europe road trip next Easter 🙌🏻

myotherbagisgucci · 03/06/2018 07:58

Absolutely! We took our 4 month old DD to Portugal and we had a fantastic time and made lots of memories for us and took lots of photos for her! We're taking her to America next month and she'll be 7 months then.

cushioncovers · 03/06/2018 08:00

I think it all depends on your mindset towards it. I would wait and see what sort of hands on dad your dp is going to be. Your routine with a small baby will be the same abroad as it is at home. It won't magically be less work just because you are in a different country. one parent won't be able to sleep in or relax by the pool so as long as your dp shares the responsibility fairly you will both get a bit of a rest.

What does he expect his holiday to be like?

Icklepickle101 · 03/06/2018 08:02

I’d go this year! DD is due in 4 weeks and we going away end of September. They are so much more portable when they are tiny!

I took DS away when he was 14 months and it was quite stressful

Loonoon · 03/06/2018 08:03

I wouldn't take a little one on a plane so we mostly holidayed in Devon and Cornwall when they were preschool age but we did do a couple of Eurocamp caravan holidays in Italy when we were starved of sunshine and took a couple of days driving each way. They were great as was a coach trip mini break to (what was then) Eurodisney.

MrsDilber · 03/06/2018 08:07

I wouldn't overthink it at this stage, just say let's see how we feel down the line.

Chances are, if you've been on maternity leave, if you're anything like I was, I was sick of the four walls of our house and ready for a break.

Browntile · 03/06/2018 08:08

Holidays are different with small children no doubt but then is somis everything. I can’t belive how many people don’t do it. We don’t do expensive holidays at all with our 3 9, 7 and 2 but we are away at the moment, leaving to go home today (I’m the opposite and don’t want to go back to normal!) and we’ve had a blast. The little one has loved being on the beach and playing in the water every day.

welshweasel · 03/06/2018 08:11

We’ve been going abroad with DS since he was 3 months old, never had a rubbish holiday. It’s certianly different to holidaying without kids but still great fun. When he was a baby the holidays were more about us, now we have to make them toddler friendly. We still manage to scuba dive, ski etc.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 03/06/2018 08:13

Of course I would take them! A holiday isn’t just about memories- it’s about rest, relaxation and quality family time. And whilst a holiday with a one year old won’t be quite as relaxing as without a one year old, when you have a 1 year old and work full time, you’ll appreciate the rest from
Work!

wheezing · 03/06/2018 08:16

I go abroad with my toddler and have done a few times a year since he was born. It’s fine. Why does it matter whether they remember it? The holiday is also for you.
Ok it’s less relaxing than it should be, but you can tag team parenting duties so you get some time to enjoy pool / glass of wine / lie in the sun. Nice food and glass of wine on terrace while baby sleeps? Also just playing with a toddler in the sun is nice anyway.
Pre about one it was easiest as he required basically no stuff too.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 03/06/2018 08:22

bookmum08 you sound fairly offensive tbh, and I hate that superior attitude that all holidays abroad are in an all inclusive on a Greek island (don’t even know why that’s negative- they’re FABULOUS) and it’s somehow preferable to be traipsing around in the rain spending £70 a day to get Into national trust attractions eating claggy scones.

FWIW we do both- a week in the U.K. and 2 abroad. As do plenty of people. You shouldn’t be so narrow minded. It’s also a shame your daughter has to experience exactly your likes because you’re too anxious to try anything eLSe, to be honest.

FriendlyOcelot · 03/06/2018 08:22

We took dd1 abroad with us when she was five months butvit was bearable because a) she was on the verge of being mobile but not quite, and b) we went with family so dh and I got the odd break.

After that we stuck to uk only until the youngest was nearly four!

AvoidingDM · 03/06/2018 08:23

By the time our oldest was 3 we'd been to
Austria - summer and winter
The Lakes - few times
WDW
Spain
Highlands - few times
Camping in South Scotland.

He might not remember any of those holidays but he enjoyed them. And more importantly WE enjoyed them.

I totally disagree that WDW isn't suitable for young kids. I had never been and was desperate to go, Low season the weather was cooler, parks quiet, why not? We had a blast, covered every inch of the 6 disney parks at a toddlers pace, in the 2 weeks and went back the following year. It was cheaper than Tenerife at the same time of year.

SensingWeakness · 03/06/2018 08:23

I can't think of anything more miserable than taking a baby abroad (as in under 1).

Having to carry them everywhere in that heat - not for me. I know people that have gone with 4/5 month olds and it looks hell on a stick.

I leave it until they're walking at least. We're going next Spring when ds3 will be just gone 2 - we would have gone this year but can't afford it.

Tartsamazeballs · 03/06/2018 08:26

My 18 month is on her third holiday, Cyprus at 6 months, New York at 11 months and Lanzarote at 17 months.

I don't understand the whole "they won't remember it" argument, because even if they dont I will. I remember laying by the pool in the sun with a glass of wine whilst she kicked and wiggled in her play gym. I remember her first attempt at weaning, when she grabbed a bit of octopus off my plate and popped it in her mouth. I remember a blind panic at the top of mount troodos when I realised she'd had a nappy explosion lol I remember her eyes going wide at the top of the Empire State, and chatting to New Yorkers in a little soft play we found. I remember her thinking she was in heaven when we found a diner where all the staff sang. In Lanzarote she learnt to make sandcastles, explored rockpools ("fish! Fish!") and splashed in the sea.

She might not remember those moments but I do. She wont remember the swimming lessons we go to, nor toddler sense classes or me reading her "foxes socks" every night, but each of those experiences shape her somehow, else we wouldn't bother surely? Why is a holiday any different?

myotherbagisgucci · 03/06/2018 08:30

@Tartsamazeballs I couldn't agree more!

fussychica · 03/06/2018 08:31

We took our son abroad at 6 months and just under 2 in villas in Lanzarote and it was great. We took him at 2.5 to Cyprus and it was he'll, unseasonal hot and poor accommodation led to an awful holiday.
Personally, I think taking a child under 7 to Disney is a complete waste of time, too tiring, won't be able to experience lots of the rides and they probably won't remember it.

I think if you pick sensibly you can have a great holiday with a baby or child but you need to be organised and not expect the complete relaxation you would have as a couple on the same holiday.

Highpeak · 03/06/2018 08:32

We're currently in Northern Spain with 11mo DD and its going fine. It isn't too hot and she stays out with us in the evenings. We have rented apartments so we have a separate space to put her to bed, she is a good sleeper though.

AvoidingDM · 03/06/2018 08:40

*SensingWeakness

I can't think of anything more miserable than taking a baby abroad (as in under 1).

Having to carry them everywhere in that heat - not for me. I know people that have gone with 4/5 month olds and it looks hell on a stick.*

That's why people need to choose carefully where and when they go.
Austria in late summer, Turkey in October were the first foreign holidays for my 2.

cushioncovers · 03/06/2018 08:46

And whilst a holiday with a one year old won’t be quite as relaxing as without a one year old,

GrinGrin sorry just made me laugh. Understatement of the year.

EdWinchester · 03/06/2018 08:46

We took ours abroad from when they were small babies. We took them to Europe and the US.

We always found it pretty easy tbh.

househunthappening · 03/06/2018 08:49

Probably quite subjective but we've just got back from a week's UK break in a self-catering cottage with DS1 who is 10 months and I'm not in a hurry to go away again!

Not really bothered about the 'same routine, different place' aspect, quite happy to carry on cooking etc so that was fine, but he did not sleep the whole time and generally found it quite unsettling being in a different environment. Also baby proofing the place was a nightmare!

Blaablaablaa · 03/06/2018 08:51

We've taken ours abroad since they were tiny and we've travelled extensively throughout the UK. Of course it's not relaxing and needs 100x more planning but I wanted my DS to be used to travelling from a young age.....he's nearly 4 now and is not phased at all by long journeys, hotels, caravans, planes, new places , different food etc.

I imagine if you wait until they're older it might freak them out the first few times.

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