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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Long lost family

17 replies

Naz76 · 01/06/2018 16:27

Another thread from me!

Recently Ive had contact via fb from a long lost uncle. He is my mums brother.

Previous history, I have had NC with my mum for 4 yrs. She is a violent abusive person. I, and my siblings,went into care. I was 13 at the time. The others were younger. Despite everything, and due to my father being deceased, I have tried to have a relationship with my DM. But she is still an angry violent lady.

2018...my Uncle makes contact. Wants to get to know his long lost family. He is in contact with my DM. Anyway, we have a few convos via fb. I keep things very casual and on a need to know basis. After a few days he starts msg'ing me constantly about my DM. It goes like this:

I should forgive her
She is a victim too and not responsible for her actions
I am obv a hard hearted person
How can I keep her grandchildren from her?

This was within 3 days of contact (30 yrs of non).

He then started contacting my friends on fb. Saying....they needed to make me see sense and realise what im doing is wrong. He couldnt see my friends list, no one can, he msg people who either liked or commented on my status's. He then found my sister via these comments and said he was gonna msg her. I told him no bloody way. (She isnt doing great, she self harms due to sexual abuse she suffered). He told me he would do what he likes. Hes our uncle and knows whats best!!!!!

Thankfully I had told my sister about him (ie contactng me ) and due to her suspicious nature she blocked him before he could even contact her.

Final straw...i refused to respond to his msgs and he then contacted my DP telling him if he is a man he will deal with me and sort me out. Our DC's have a right to know their family and my DM isnt guilty of anything because she too is a victim so it negates her actions. He believes that whatever she does its due to circumstance and we must forgive. That night we both blocked him.

Anyway, he is pestering anyone he can. AIBU to report him?

OP posts:
ReservoirDogs · 01/06/2018 16:30

no YANBU

Juells · 01/06/2018 16:34

He's found a way to abuse you, just like his sister. They're cut from the same cloth. I suppose you could report him to the police for harrassment? I don't know how that works.

Booboobooboo84 · 01/06/2018 16:34

Report report report, what an absolute arsewipe cockwombling excuse for a man

Naz76 · 01/06/2018 16:35

If I report him will he be removed from fb? Will it prevent him pestering people in my life?

OP posts:
Naz76 · 01/06/2018 16:36

Juells...that just made me well up. Because I know you are right. I felt uneasy and sick when he was in contact.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 01/06/2018 16:38

Can't you tell him to do one, and block him?

Naz76 · 01/06/2018 16:42

I have blocked him. He is now pestering all my friends. Some of them are refusing to block him as they are refusing to let his bullying arse win. But I just want him gone.

OP posts:
user1457017537 · 01/06/2018 16:44

Report him to the Police for hassasment and stalking. He is stalking via your friends.

Naz76 · 01/06/2018 16:49

Thats what I thought too. Thanks.

OP posts:
FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 01/06/2018 16:51

absolutely report. Report to FB, then the police. Online stalkery! How bloody dare he!?

jay55 · 01/06/2018 16:53

Are you sure it is him or could it be your mum pretending to be him?
Either way block.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 01/06/2018 16:54

hmm Jay55 has a point you know,...

JamPasty · 01/06/2018 17:34

Urg, what a bastard! Make sure your Facebook is locked down so that only friends can see your statuses.

Naz76 · 01/06/2018 18:08

I have done that now. Its crazy that family can make me do this kind of thing!

OP posts:
Naz76 · 01/06/2018 18:09

It def isnt my mum. She isnt on social media at all and his fb is full of pics of him, his family, work colleagues etc. People that my mum would never know.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 01/06/2018 19:34

Or maybe you should contact a few of his friends/work colleagues, and let them know that he is harassing you!

Juells · 01/06/2018 20:50

@Naz76

I have blocked him. He is now pestering all my friends. Some of them are refusing to block him as they are refusing to let his bullying arse win.

That's an odd way of looking at it :( His bullying arse is winning because they're allowing him to rant, which is what he wants.

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