To not want my mum to know I'm having counselling

[pineappledelight]

I'm 19 and have just finished my first year at university. I live at home and commute each day. For the last few weeks I've been seeing a counsellor through my uni, and I haven't told my mum about it. She's asked where I'm going a couple of the times and I've lied and told her I'm seeing a friend or something. I feel guilty about that. I've nearly had all the sessions I'm entitled to, but I would like to continue with counselling, maybe through my GP. It will be more difficult to hide it from my mum. Aibu to not want her to know? Part of the reason I've been going is to talk through some issues relating to her. I feel guilty for hiding it from her and I know she would be hurt if she knew I hadn't told her.

Hi OP, personally I wouldn't worry about not telling your mum. You're an adult, you're working through some issues and you don't have to tell your mum - even if you live with her. It might be good to have a reason to leave the house ready such as studying, work, meet up with a friend etc.

Well done on getting counselling and seeing it through. Hope it really helps you :)

If you tell her, you may not be able to speak as freely in your counselling sessions, as you will be conscious that she is going to ask you about what you've said.

I didn't tell my parents when I went to counselling either (I'm a fair bit older than you, but the same principle applies). Hope the counselling is helping.

YANBU of course. It's your own business, and there's no obligation to tell about it, unless you want to.

My DM knows about my therapy, which I'm fine about, but I won't discuss the therapy with her. That can be a harder balancing act to keep up than completely not telling would be, I think, especially if your mother is a curious person (which can of course come from a genuine interest and caring; not necessarily just a toxic wish to meddle). But if you think hiding the sessions would become hard, you could always mention you're seeing someone because of "university stress", or something else vague like that, without going into all the real reasons.

I agree. It’s nobody else’s business but yours. Your an adult and if you don’t want your DM to know that’s your choice. Try hard not to
Feel guilty for ‘hiding’ it from her. Our parents don’t always need to know everything about our lives. I really hope the counselling helps. It’s really great that your getting some support.

You are 19, you don't have to tell your mother about the counselor or even where you are going...you are an adult...

Is there any reason you would prefer her not to know?

Yanbu my mum knows about my sister’s counselling etc and is getting way to involved which I think really isn’t helping. I in the other hand haven’t told her about the treatment I’m currently seeking and feel so much stronger and independent knowing I’m able to deal with things by myself. Although admittedly I don’t live with my mum so it’s not so hard to hide it all from her.

You don't have to tell her about where you're going and who you're seeing.
Hopefully the counselling will help you in this respect.