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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed up.

5 replies

LokiBear · 01/06/2018 13:19

Its half term, dh and I are both teachers. We have Dd6 (almost 7) and dd1. Made an effort to do things this half term just with dd6 as she has struggled a bit with adjusting to having a little sister. Dh took her to the theatre and out for ice cream, I took her to the cinema and shopping, so, 1:1 time with each of us. Weve also done lots of fun things like den building, been to visit grandparents and celebrated birthdays with family. Dh was just about to take them both to soft play so that I can blitz the house as its filthy. Ive left all of the cleaning and done zero school work because we've been playing. We have birthday parties to attend this weekend - botb dd6's friends. Dd6 has just had a bit of a melt down because dh said that we'd go swiming this week and we havent. She just told us we'd broken our promise and let her down. Dh is now bleating on about what terrible parents we are. Im pissed off. Firstly, because dd6 has had some pretty expensive treats this half term. Secondly, because the only day we had free to go swimming, dd6 had been up choughing during the night so didnt want to go and we built a den instead. I dont think im a bad parent. I tried my best but I cant physically make more time. Dh now wants to take her thid evening. I dont. I think she needs to learn not to be so entitled and recognise that she cant always have things on her terms. Before her meltdown id said wed go swimimg on Monday after school and I want to stick to that. They've all just left the house without even saying goodbye. Dh is pissed off because I didnt profusely apologise to dd6 and agree that we let her down like he did. Instead, I told her I understood her disappointment but that her attitude was hurtful after all of the lovely things we had tried to do for her this holiday. I didnt shout or tell her off, I just didnt pander to her. Aibu? I need one person to at least tell me im not. I feel so hurt but racked with guilt at the same time. Im also pissed off that, once again, im the bad guy.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 01/06/2018 13:24

It sounds like your both making too big a thing over her tantrum in different ways.

She is 6, in her mind she is disappointed she didn’t get to go swimming. No matter what else you have done then that is understandable if that is what she had been promised.

Don’t make an issue of it with her at all, talk to your dh when she isn’t around to decide the best time to go

sweetboykit · 01/06/2018 13:29

Just explain that you were going to go swimming but she had a cough. That meant because you care for her you didn't take her in case it made the cough worse and that you had a fun time making dens instead. It's the truth. You don't need to go swimming as you made dens.

LokiBear · 01/06/2018 13:31

She decided not to go swimming - she said she was too tired so we didnt go. Thats partly why im upset.

OP posts:
TheShapeOfEwe · 01/06/2018 13:33

YANBU. She is being a brat and your DH is wrong to indulge it. I think you had the right approach - and I think you and he should have a chat so he isn't undermining you and you're a united front.

I wouldn't feel hurt about her behaviour - she's six, so she's going to have limited perspective about her own feelings! She isn't trying to hurt you. But she does need to learn to be more appreciative and that she can't always get her own way on demand.

LokiBear · 01/06/2018 13:40

Im more upset with dh than dd. He is the same - measures me by what I do and don't do for him. His reaction has really pissed me off. Thanks for responding.

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