To be fed up of volunteers being insulted and sneered at

[user1485342611]

A friend earlier today made a comment about 'those busy bodies who do the flowers in the church'.
Last week a woman at work was criticising the 'smug mums' on the PTA.

Do these people not realise how much volunteers enrich communities by giving up their time and actually doing something for the school, the church etc?

I fully intend to volunteer for something when I stop working full time but hate the way so many people who work for the community get stereotyped and moaned about.

AIBU?

I think people who criticise are usually secretly jealous because it reminds them that they aren't volunteering themselves, so t make themselves feel better they try and tear the other people down...

Just ignore people like that, I do

*so to

Yes, you're probably right Elder. I think one of the reasons it annoys me is because my aunt does the flowers in her Church and is now 80 and finding it tough going. But they're finding it so hard to get any younger people to volunteer, so she and her friends keep on going. They're not busybodies who want to do everything themselves, they're tired elderly women who wish someone a bit younger would take their turn.

I know exactly what you mean. It's why I'm stepping down at the end of the school year from running the PFA. I've had the usual comments about cliques (no, there are only 4 of on the committee despite repeated appeals) and complaints about activities not happening, not been run the way they want, people have written letters of complaint and then when asked to get involved looked shocked and said no way. I can't even be bothered to go through all the negatives. If it wasn't for the "clique" (4 of us who have become really good friends as a result of this) I'd have stepped down ages ago. So we told everyone in January that we were stepping down in July, and needed people to step up if the PFA could continue. One person has stepped forward. That's it. So the PFA will fold, and the money raised will go back into the Charity commission. Everyone has been told this. Still no offers of help. It's shit

I'm a manager in a charity shop and apart from myself and an assistant manager for 2 days a week we are totally staffed by volunteers. Customers however can be so rude and don't realize the amount of time and effort goes into running the shop and raising vital funds. Also everyone has something to give and my volunteers and all genuinely interesting and unique individuals. To see how much people get out of volunteering too it is an underrated use of time in this country.

I also have a friend who trudges from door to door, every couple of months, delivering the local newsletter with details of upcoming events, new developments regarding issues like traffic and so on. She always gets a few people who run down the path after her rudely telling her that they 'don't want junk mail'.

Why are some people so unpleasant and anti anything local and community minded?

It’s always the ones who never volunteer who moan the loudest about how things are done - really annoys me too. Stop complaining and get off your bum and help if you aren’t happy about the way these things are done

seems a shame to cut living flowers to have them die in a building, but that's just me.

however in a world where people spend hours with their noses to their brickphones, and then blubber that they don't have time to help, bitching at those who do get off their backsides is even more revolting.

and yes, I'm conscious I'm on mumsnet but I do quite a lot of volunteering!

Narnia
At our school it took the non running of a Christmas fair to get new blood in. But they came and the PTA is running as well, if not better, than ever before, so don't lose hope. I suggest mothballing for a year as kick starting from scratch will be even harder than 'doing nothing'
Also, presumably money could go to the school, not 'back to the charity commission'?

OP - I agree with you.

Do these people not realise how much volunteers enrich communities by giving up their time and actually doing something for the school, the church etc?

I don't see how anyone enriches their community by doing flowers in church, but equally I don't see any need to be rude about them.

Teen - there is a legal requirement to have a chair, secretary and treasurer as bare minimum, or the PFA charity has to fold and either the school has to spend the (very healthy) balance by the end of the school year or the money has to go to the charity commission.

We wanted to step down this time last year and got talked into staying on to fulfil the legal requirement. But enough is enough.

For years, ever since ds1 was a baby, I was a serial volunteer - the local NCT committee, the playgroup, helping with PTA events at their primary school, being a parent governor, working in ds1's senior school library, the art class I attended's committee, the street's residents' association and my choir's committee.

I have never met, in person, the attitude that the OP outlines - about busybodies etc - but have definitely met the constant criticism from people who were happy to bitch from the sidelines, but never, ever stuck their hand in the air when we needed more help with things.

I have, over the years, run myself into the ground, and got very stressed over responsibilities I had taken on - but have felt very torn - I didn't want to stop doing things, when I knew that no-one else would be taking it on, and that, by stepping back, I would be putting even more of a load on the shoulders of the few people who were prepared to volunteer for things - but I have had to step back from things for my own mental health.

Now I am on only one committee, that doesn't involve a great deal of work or responsibility, and I feel so much lighter as a result.

I am willing to bet that the people who carp and criticise the few willing volunteers and their efforts couldn't care less about the effect this has on them - nor do they realise or appreciate the results of people's work and effort, that benefits them or their children. Sadly I suspect that, as @TeenTimesTwo says, it takes the loss of these benefits, for people to start to appreciate the volunteers.

Yes, so many people who almost pride themselves on 'keeping myself to myself' and looking down on people who actually get involved. But 'keeping myself to myself' so often means 'leaving everything to someone else'.

It's the same with people who say smugly 'oh I never get involved in any rows or disputes'. What it often means is that they sign and moan about things as much as anyone else, but always leave it up to 'someone else' to stick their neck out and sort out problems. There's nothing admirable about 'not getting involved'. Sometimes you should get involved and support your neighbours/co-workers or whoever.

Fair enough Narnia . Have you been active over the past year, or literally just a holding position?

I'd still donate the money to the school. Even if it just buys Pritt sticks, and exercise books, and other random resources. There must be something the school would like.

I work with convicted offenders some of the volunteers who help mentor them, support those who are vulnerable, encourage them to go to the tenth job interview even though they've been rejected from the rest, are brilliant. So many of our service users have had excellent support from volunteers who support them to support themselves and with government cuts we'd be screwed without them.

“I don't see how anyone enriches their community by doing flowers in church, but equally I don't see any need to be rude about them.”

They choose and buy the flowers (not all have a fund for it), then spend a couple of hours arranging them for the church or for events like weddings.

Often the flowers are then either divided into posies or kept intact and they are sent to sick, bereaved or elderly people in the community who may need them.

Probably the saddest arrangement I did was for a rushed wedding. They didn’t mind what colours or flowers they had so long as they had an arrangement.
The flowers went onto the groom’s grave a few days later - they’d discovered he was terminally ill, hence the rush.

Miggledy

For regular churchgoers having clean churches, with nice flowers, a choir, people to help organise weddings, christenings and funerals, play the organ etc is greatly enriching and all of these depend on volunteers.

Volunteers are the backbone of many organizations

Of course some people would claim it’s better to have paid workers I disagree why pay someone who doesn’t really want to be there the minimum wage when you have people who are passionate about the organisation they are working voluntary for though many could be paid something but it would probably impact benefits/pensions

I’ve worked at DV centres and hospices without the volunteers workers (was one myself for a while) it wouldn’t be the wonderful and caring environment they are and they are hugely appreciated

And yes arranging flowers in a church may seem like nothing tonsome but it may keep that person busy for a short while and feel needed along with actually doing something that others can appreciate

Many of us could do a little volunteering and we shouldn’t we think what we could do rather than moan how things are falling apart/society is breaking down and so on

Just saw a fb post from Girlguiding uk that it is National Volunteering Week. I know a lot of Rainbow and Brownie mums who are surprised that the leaders are volunteers and not paid. How else do they think their daughters can take part in something every week for at most a couple of quid. My DD is 16 and helps at a Rainbow unit, she has as much fun as the rainbows.