Working more hours

[readyforapummelling]

I can't decide what to do.

I currently work 3 days a week, I have a 15 month old. I have been offered an extra 2 days a week, it would be financially viable in terms of childcare and the extra cash would be a big help although OTOH we can scrape by without the money.

I feel like I would be sacrificing spending time with my DC in return for extra cash.
At the moment I work Tues-Fri with LO spending one day at CM, one day with DP and one day with my DM. If I was to work an extra two days it would increase to three days with CM. CM if actually a family member, DC loves going and no problems with the setting at all.

I earn 18kPA in 3 days but if I increase to 5 it would go up to 30k. I feel from a professional POV this would make me more eligible for higher earning potential in the future.

If it was to keep a roof over our heads I wouldn't think twice about it, it's just the fact that it's optional is making me feel guilty like I'm choosing work over time with DC.

Just to add as not to drip feed, DP works 4 days a week with the other looking after DC. He doesn't earn very much.

WWYD?

AIBU to increase my working hours?

I wouldn't.

I have been a SAHM, worked part-time (3 days) and worked full-time (5 days).
5 days was a killer - we had a ton of money but I was stressed. No amount of hiring cleaners/gardeners/laundry services or going on fancy holidays made up for the frantic lifestyle we had.
I just don't have enough time in the day and the DC were short changed.
I am now P/T again and the balance is just right.

Personally I would see if doing one extra day, so a four day week, is possible. I used to have Wednesdays off which meant I had time for dentists, housework etc and also doing something nice with my toddler. Also pay wise it was still a good amount. I now do three but if I didn't have such a mega commute (1.5 hours each day) i probably wouldn't have gone down to three.

I would - that's a huge pay increase and you have great CM options. You could put a lot of money towards your DS's future (for university or a house deposit).

If your partner earns less than you can he reduce his hours so he can spend more time with your child and do any appointments eg doctor?

Thanks for the responses, much appreciated. We have discussed DP reducing his hours to increase his childcare role but he is actively seeking a new job and is worried that he will struggle to find something for three days a week.

I quite like the 4 day a week option, my day off would be a Friday too so I would get a long weekend. But then the pay increase is taunting me!

If DD was a bit older I could have WFH one day a week to balance it out but at the age she is I would find it impossible.

Do you think me working 5 days a week would have a negative impact on DD? As in she has gotten used to being with me 2 days in the week and all of a sudden I only get to spend quality time with her on a weekend. It's a long working day too, 9am - 5:30pm so by the time I get home she is usually crabby and ready for bed. Would there be any negative impacts on her do you think?

On one hand I want to be able to earn more money so we can have nicer things, save for our own home, go on holidays and not have to worry about money as much but I don't want to do this at the expense of my relationship with my daughter. I'm not too worried about the stress of working 5 days, our house is small and easy to keep on top of and I'm lucky in the sense work are very flexible so if I ever need to attend appointments etc it's never an issue.

Argh it's hurting my brain.

Ask about 4 days. You could soon go up to 5 when LO starts school.

Although I've worked 5 days per week since little ones were tiny so I totally see that point of view.

Why can't you oh drop hours if he doesn't earn much?

Also you can't wfh and look after a child

I would in an instant. Pre school children have so very few memories that she won't have a clue if you work three or five days. If five days means you have the funds when she's older for holidays, activities, enrichment trips etc then she will benefit enormously.

Can you do 4 days compressed hours - so do the FT hrs, get the FT wage (and career progression and pension etc) but still have an extra day off? Pay for cleaner/ironing/gardening etc to happen during your 4 days in work?

I do 3 days a week at the moment. When DC starts school I have requested to up my hours to 4 days. But the extra day will contractually be from home. This will mean I can be here for drop off/pickup. No awful commute and if it's quiet I can sneak off at lunch to see my horse...so it's taken the sting out of working more. We're ok without the extra money but it will definitely come in handy.

I think I'm going to do it. I will ask about 4 days but if it's a 5 or nothing kinda deal then I will go for it. I think the biggest lure is saving for a deposit on a home and you can't put a price on security. My mum worked 5 days when I was small and I've turned out okish.

I did spend a lot of time with my GPs though. I know how much she loves going to the CM, sometimes she cries when I turn up to take her home which is a good sign I suppose. If I do feel like it's having a negative impact on her I will reduce again, I can all but try it.

I meant I could WFH if she was school age. I know I haven't a hope in hell of doing it whilst she is still a toddler, it would be a nightmare even trying.

Thanks for the advice, you've all been massively helpful.

I’m in similar boat

Absolutely sticking with 3 days.

I’ll go up to 4 when the time is right but NEVER full time.

I would definitely for that pay increase

I work full time and have 4 dc including a 2 year old and a 4 month old baby. The fourth was unplanned and a completely surprise so we didn’t have much choice as it’s too expensive to have 4 on one wage.

I’m lucky insofar as I make up some of the hours at the weekend so I’m the week I’m done by 3 but I still work 5 days and full time hours.

I was so worried about workload and my baby missing me but actually I have found it easier at work than looking after the 2 little ones and we have enough funds to spend quality time doing things the whole family enjoy (gone are the days my eldest kids are happy with park and feeding the ducks sadly)

The little ones get messy, stimulating activities at nursery and don’t appear to have any less bond with me than my older two who I was a SAHM for. I get just as many smiles, cuddles and ‘I love you mummy’s’. Do what’s right for you but in my experience, it has been positive all round.

And the difference in salary for me is significant as >£40k per annum.
And I’m a single mum.
But still not tempted by full time!

@Kikidelivers can I ask why? I'm weighing up the pros and cons and it will help me knowing your reasoning behind it. Is it because it feels like too much plus looking after DCs? Or more because you don't want to sacrifice your time with them for work?

@littlewoollypervert I'm already working the max number of hours in a day as I can. I'm first in and last out otherwise your suggestion would have been ideal. I did compressed hours at my previous job and bloody loved it.

I work full time, have 1 and 2 year old. They love their CM (also a family member) and it means our quality of life is so much better! We have some amazing holidays etc and to be honest, they have morw fun with the CM than they would with me as I am shit at crafts and couldn't cope with the mess.
I love my job, and don't feel guilty at all.

I work full time, as does my OH. My son is at nursery 3 days a week and the other two are either with my mum or OH, depending on his shifts. He is a happy, confident little boy and I think this will put him in good stead for when he goes to school next year.

We are able to save money and have some nice things, plus it keeps me 'marketable' job-wise which will only become more important as I get older. We're planning to have another child and I'll take a year off and then return to full time. It helps that I love my job and the company I work for.

Why I will never work full time

Whilst at primary I would like to work three days a week. Those other two days all housework and admin ticked off list. Exercise. Any appointments. Coffee with friends. Once I have picked up the children we can be on go slow, leisurely walk home (I have no need to rush as Home jobs all done). I can play / hell with homework / ferry to clubs / have other children over. Just be present I suppose.

I will eventually go up to 4 days (more likely 3.5) when both at secondary for same reasons as outlined above but less time needed “off” because I won’t be picking up the children from school. However I’d like to be here for two afternoons a week. Even if they walk straight past me to their rooms, I’ll be there for that time when they decompress after school and who knows what may come tumbling out.

So it’s a mix of doing it for myself (exercise, socialise, any beauty apps, admin etc) and for the children (physically present and also more emotionally present by virtue of the fact that I have had some “me” time)