AIBU to want to help DH get healthier?

[sevencontinents]

My husband and I haven't always taken our health very seriously: in our 20s and early 30s we both drank over the recommended weekly limit, didn't eat enough fruit and veg, rarely exercised and ate too much processed food.

Recently I have taken steps to improve my lifestyle, and am now much healthier and happier. My husband, however, isn't as interested. Although he exercises, he still drinks more than he should and definitely struggles with following a healthy diet. I really want him to get healthier as we approach our 40s. In particular, he is bigger than he should be around the middle, which is a red flag for heart health. He isn't willing to talk about this. AIBU to want him to change his lifestyle as he approaches Middle age?

You can’t control his behaviour. Any change has to be because he wants it not because he feels pressured to change.

You focus on your health and hopefully he will follow of his own accord

I have this, except I lost weight and have upped my fitness, while my DH is always full of talk (and moans about his size) but never actually does anything. It is very frustrating and I see his weight creep up and up and it worries me.

Yanbu to think about his health. But it does come across as though now you have finally decided that your health matters, that he must get on board with it.

You came to it, in your own time. He needs to as well.

YANBU keep trying.
Every decade or so your metabolism slows so if you’re putting on weight in your early 30’s but ignore it add up a few ponds a year to your 40’s.
Then the next slow down adds more pounds every year.
Overweight 20 year olds don’t seem to realise just how big they will be in their 40/50’s if they already can’t control their eating and don’t exercise ever.
My generation were skinny when young but quite podgy/fat now ( 50’s ) think just how big this generating of 20’s will be later on when they’re seriously overweight at their peak?
In my tin foil hat I think the government ignores this as they are trying to save on pensions.
It’s really hard to get anyone to who doesn’t exercise to realise how uplifting and energising it is without becoming a bore. So we keep quiet. So yes keep on trying so you can both have a better life together later!

I agree with others, his body his decision. You can cook healthier meals if you are cooking and suggest family walks at the weekend, etc, but it has to be his choice.

In my family and family friends, it’s the ‘healthy’ ones who ate well and went OTT at the gym that dropped dead of heart attacks or undiagnosed heart conditions or cancer. The ‘unhealthy’ ones who took a much more relaxed approach to life and enjoyed their food and drink just seem(ed) to keep on living 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have the same

And no you can’t make them ! People will only do it when they feel ready

I was also bagged and persuaded but it was ME that made the decision to change

YANBU to worry but if someone was nagging at me about my health all the time I'd find it really frustrating, even if I knew they were in the right.

You were unhealthy too and had to realise it on your own. He needs to do the same otherwise he'll be resentful of you.