To buy one of those wrist strap things for walking with 3.5yo?

[FatherMackenzie]

Or is she too big for those now? I’m a bit desperate and at the end of my tether with nursery pick up. Dd keeps running off, and today tried to run into a busy road. I had to grab her to stop her. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack and I don’t feel all that wonderful about having to grab her either . I feel like an enormous dick actually.

I always get her to hold hands crossing roads and quite often age does, but it’s totally unpredictable.

She will never wear baby reins. Never has! She just drops to the ground when they’re on, or dead weights and spins in circles so the reins get all twisted.

Walks are becoming so stressful as she jumps / skips rather than walking and frequently falls on her arse as a result. She doesn’t get how dangerous the roads are here yet, so she’ll do this right by the main road. It’s horrible. I’m sick of being stern about dangerous behaviour, explaining how dangerous it is, calling her back when she’s bolted etc. I do the whole rewarding positive behaviour thing and say “oh I like holding your hand, thanks for holding hands”, “you’re doing a really good job of holding hands, well done” etc, but no sooner has the sentence left my lips than she’s bolted again.

I have a young baby too, so I have to push a pram at the same time.

I get she isn’t doing this to be naughty and I’m not annoyed with her, just finding it very stressful.

Any ideas?

When I'm walking with my 4 and 2 year old I just don't let go of them. Either they hold the pram or I hold their hands if no pram. If they don't want to I hold their wrists. I don't trust them to walk near roads without that.

Have you tried the reins which is more of a backpack? We got a monkey one for ds (although he's younger than your dd) but they do all sorts of styles and designs. Amazon have loads and ds loves his. It has a nice long lead and he can trot along whilst I can prevent him from running headfirst into the duck pond.

We got some straps for our last holiday, dc were 2 and 4. Padded wrist bit with double velcro so dc couldn't get out and the strap was like a telephone wire. They were brilliant and comfy so no-one minded wearing them.

Too can get a toddler handle that straps on to a pram. She would still have to choose to hold it but my dd was much happier holding "her special handle" than my hand.

You, not too

Have you tried the little life back pack ? She could pack it for nursery and it has reins attached, yanbu to put a wrist strap on her I used to loop Dd1s round dds pram when we were walki g to nursery.

If I hold her wrists she screams, wriggles, drops to the ground and I feel like I’m hurting her. She’s strong as anything and it takes effort to keep hold of her if she doesn’t want to be held.

My dd wore little life backpack reins until past 4yrs.

Thanks - I definitely think I need to sell it to her somehow as if I have to force her to do something it genuinely requires physical force. She’s very strong physically and strong willed.

DS1 was the kind of child who'd hold my hand without being reminded, would wait at kerbs and whenever asked to.

DS2 came along and was like a baptism of fire; I've no idea how we survived his toddler years because he was a bit of a knob for constantly running off.

So, no, you're not U to use reins or wrist strap or a backpack til she learns. It's not about punishment or unkindness but about learning certain rules and til she does, you have to keep her safe. DS2 had his til well past 4 year old and I'd have carried on using them if it had taken longer to keep him safe.

Do whatever works for you my son is no t far off free and uses reins as he’s a horror

Better to wear a strap than bolt in front of a car.

My nephew is 2 and wears his straps whenever we go out.

I’ve just ordered some. Dd chose the colour - all going well thought I, till she said she wouldn’t let me put my wrist in the other side. She just wants to wear them by herself apparently .

Get a double buggy !

I don’t know if she’d go in a buggy now. She hated it even before we had the baby. I have a sling for the baby, which I’d planned to use while pushing dd in the buggy, but she wouldn’t go in it. Also, I think she needs as much exercise as possible to try and burn off the energy! She’d had a full day at nursery today though and still was all over the place on the way home. She’s just very, very energetic... is that like saying she’s ‘spirited’..?

Carrot and stick approach? You must wear them- if you walk nicely you get x, you fight with me- you lose a privilege.

Totally different idea but would she use one of those bikes where you have a handle?

Or a balance bike with a handle?

You could then use the sling with the baby.

You need to be firm with her even if she has a wrist strap if she runs away from mummy then you can't go to nursery then keep her off I am assuming it is preschool and not childcare nursery but follow through with consequences imo will work,

I agree with the carrot and stick approach but ultimately the straps are for both of you - this isn't a choice for her. If she's a bolter you are keeping her safe.

Yes absolutely her safety is priority.

Definitely do it. Mine's about the same age and just the same - no road sense at all. He's gradually getting better, though.

Try fastening your end on to the pram, without telling her. Had to use one until 4.5 years with one of our dc.

My 3.5 DS is similar. I’m often not sure he’d stop if he ran off. I tried the backpacks but he just undoes the clip which keeps them in. The only thing that really works is bribery or telling him he’ll go ‘bang’ and it will hurt. (He doesn’t like getting hurt).