To think it isn't normal to ASK

[SleepingStandingUp]

What is wrong with someone's child, what's happened to them etc when you're a total stranger.

My son is in 24/7 o2. I get that it looks odd. And I'm used to people asking what's, wrong with him, what's happened to his face o2 held by white tape), etc. Some people ask if its o2, share their own experiences but most just ask weren't offs that, what offs wrong with him, what happened to him without even a hello.

DS thinks this is normal and acceptable and I should be nicer and tell them. I think curiosity is normal, voicing it isn't and my curt reply (I'm not rude) is fine if you've literally walked up to me and started asking random questions.

I totally understand that kids are curious and want to know what’s what. But an adult has no business commenting or asking about anything to do with a random child on the street’s health issues. It’s absolutely nothing to do with them. Same with commenting about someone’s assistance dog. I have a friend who has a dog and it’s a rare day that she can go about her business without questions, remarks or ridiculous comments. Nobody seems to think that maybe they’ve been asked or told something a million times before and they just want the same right to go to work, to the shops or the park etc, without being an object of interest.

Urgh I get this all the time and it drives me bonkers, I’ve started responding ‘nothing, what’s wrong with you?’
I also hate when random people come up and say ‘oh I know someone with this/that/the other, I don’t know how you do it!’

If your curt responses are upsetting your child, don't respond curtly.

But the rudeness you describe is gobsmacking, and I can completely understand how angry it must make you feel.

Can you afford to print out a few slips with information on oxygen/ tubes/ the conditions that may require it, and a link to any fundraising for your DS's condition, and hand your slips to people who ask with a 'Thank you for your interest - here is some general information. Of course you will understand I do not discuss my son's personal medical condition with people who do not need to know it.'

My eldest was also on continuous O2. I had a whole range of responses, particularly loved the people who would stick their heads in the buggy to see the baby and couldn’t get away fast enough once they saw all the tubes!

Particularly memorable conversations included an argument about how old DD1 was, if she would die, if she was ‘normal’, if she was brain damaged, what was ‘all this’ about and a particularly memorable comment from a supermarket worker that the shop ‘wasn’t a hospice!’

The sweetest was a chap who saw me struggling with the sling, stupidly thought I could carry an O2 cylinder on my back and DD on my front and came hurtling out of his front door as something ‘obviously wasn’t right!’

A lot of people just don’t think, it was painful as I didn’t know what the long term outcome would be for DD at the time. I have no idea what she would have made of it if she had been old enough to understand the comments like your DS is.

Just a situation outside the experiences of the majority and I suppose curiousity sometimes trounces good manners. I never minded questions from children but I do agree with you that some adults need a bit more a filter!

Curiosity even!

I think there are two sides to this.

The first is that adults ask. I find this shocking. It's none of their business. Different if it's a kid, but not an adult.

Secondly I think if your son doesn't like your response and wishes you to be ok with it, I think maybe you should try to listen to what he is telling you.

Sorry DSister.

Dson is 3 and oblivious. He only pays attention ifvhe hears words about how beautiful he is or if v you're sporting clothes / a bag etc he might be interested in. He fakes shy if people talk to him but is seemingly oblivious to people talking to his mom

I think ine ofis the things I resent is that shortly he WILL understand and what i don't want HIM asking what is wrong with him, saying I can't do that cos I'm poorly. No, you have x conditions, you aren't poorly, tidy your bedroom!