To see my ex?

[CoquetteRegret]

Is it ok to see an ex when you're in a relationship? This was an ex from 10 years ago! My current partner of 5 years can't seem to get on board despite the fact that this guy is just a friend now.

Aibu to see him anyway despite my partners discomfort?

I wouldn’t go against my partners wishes as I wouldn’t want to do anything to make him feel uncomfortable or worry him

Presumably he feels the same about you - so why should he want to "make you feel uncomfortable or worry you" by stopping you from seeing a friend?

For context, the OP has explained that she and the ex have been friends ever since they split up five years ago - this is not a random ex who has suddenly popped up from the past after years of radio silence and suggested a coffee. This is a friend who used to be a boyfriend when they were teenagers but ever since has been a platonic friend.

You don't need your boyfriend's permission to have friends, OP. Ignore the handmaidens who say "I always do exactly what my partner wants - imagine him feeling uncomfortable even for a moment OH THE HORROR" or the weird people who find it totally inconceivable that they could be friends with someone after having slept with them ("But he's will have SEEN MY FANJO and presumably WILL NEVER STOP THINKING ABOUT IT HOW WOULD FRIENDSHIP EVEN WORK??").

I reckon if you'd phrased it as "Is this a red flag - "new boyf wants me to stop seeing male friend" - you'd get different answers,

Ah, see Elsi, to me is not about being rational or irrational.

To me is about being controlling.

If op wanted to be with her ex, she wouldn't be with her current partner. I think it's fairly irrational to worry about a partner getting together with an ex. They are an ex for a reason.

If there isn't enough trust in a relationship to allow for someone meeting a friend (whether or not they have previously snogged/shagged etc years in the past) then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship.

If they hadn't seen each other since and this was a one off, out of the blue situation then I could understand the concern. But not someone they have an ongoing friendship with.