To think it is possible to have 4 DC and give them all individual attention?

[hibbledibble]

I think it is, dh does not agree.

We have 3 currently. All get one to one time, activities etc, though the eldest gets more than the youngest. This will change as youngest gets older and is able to engage in more activities.

Can anyone talk to me about the jump from 3 to 4? 2 to 3 was really easy. I'm pretty sure #4 would just fit in.

Watching with interest!

I only have two so could be talking bollocks but I assume it’s like anything else if you make it a priority it will happen. You already have 3 so you have a fair idea how you spend your time as it is and know whether or not you will make the time for all four to get individual time.

However, is it possible your DH just really doesn’t want a fourth and this is his way of getting out of it? Do you really need a fourth of he doesn’t want one?

It would depend on the age gap, I think: if children 1-3 all reach significant milestones during child 4’s formative years (exams, periods, uni applications etc) then child 4 won’t get as much attention as they need from you, no matter how hard you try. That attention would come from siblings instead.

Erm, well I have 5 and they all get the same amount of love and time. Their needs are all different obviously but they all get to do regular activities, get regular holidays etc and they get time on their own. I'm one to make sure we do a lot of family time and even if we were to have a 6th (which we won't) that child would fit in just fine without fear of them 'missing out' too.

I don't see why but but would c oxide depend on the age gap.

I have 4. I wanted 4 even when I was pg with 3. :)
Mine are close in age 10, 8, 5 and 4. So eldest 2 kinda pair up and then youngest 2 do. But the dynamic is such that personality wise they mix and match as it were. :)
As for individual attention, it was harder when there was a nb. But not impossible. Dh and I make a conscious effort to have one on ones, special treat times for example.
But also just following their personalities.
E.g. one of mine loves to cook so I include them with tea prep, making treats. That type of thing.
One is at home while others are at school so gets plenty one on one.
The others do different clubs etc so I can have a little time just with them.
I don't think it's harder with 4 than 3. Sometimes easier as they have more options for play with a choice of sibling.
We also make a point of making sure they all have a chance to talk e.g. at dinner time, on the way home from school.
I think that if it's important to both of you then it's possible. :)

I think if you speak to adults who grow up in a big family you'd get a different response to talking to the parents of a big family.

Depends on the parents I guess.
My best friend has 5, youngest is now 18.
All of them felt they had/have plenty of attention/love/support.
Friend, made masses of effort to do this. :)

DSis has 4 and does an amazing job. What really helps is that BIL is an equal parent, so they manage to juggle all the kids and two careers. The kids don't all do the same activities, so while eg DN1 and DN2 are at Scouts, DSis does something with DN3 and BIL with DN4. DN1 helps BIL cook tea once a week - DN1 loves cooking so this is equivalent to sharing a hobby. They fall into groups in different ways - older/younger; those who like running/those who like football; those who want to see X film/those who'd rather do something else that day - so it mixes up nicely and they all spend time together in different combinations and individually.