DH works as a contractor in a well paid field, he can earn 3+ times what I can, but the work is a bit erratic. We have 2 small DCs and I am a SAHP. He was given the boot from his last contract (made to carry the can for a serious error) more than 2 months ago and has been job hunting since.
We are not in any immediate financial difficulties but the lack of earnings has meant a few plans have been put on hold/less for the pension pot ( both us us are 40s with little pension so far and so this is a big priority).
He is struggling to find a new contract. He is getting interviews ( has had 10-15) but is not getting beyond first stage. I have been trying my best to be supportive but I am getting frustrated by the following:
He has put his interview failure down to 1.not having the latest skills, 2.not being in a ‘work’ mindset, 3.not having anything to show prospective employers (he can’t show examples from previous contracts due to client confidentiality). However, I am cross that he has now had 2 months to brush up on his skills, focus on work (I am still doing my normal share of childcare etc) and put together a portfolio of work examples. I am also concerned that he will have a hard job moving on given the way the last contract ended.
I have several projects I am working on, which if I am lucky I get a couple of hours on after the kids are in bed. He gets to organise his day and ‘work’ on job hunting and switches off to watch TV after 5!
Every time I have come home recently I have found him tinkering in the shed with another bit of non essential DIY.
I have not gone back to work myself, or taken on casual work (I can pick this up pretty easily here) because I am still on full time childcare and I can’t earn enough to cover paid childcare. DH won’t take the kids by himself during office hours or drive in case he has to take a call. All the time I feel that I could be doing something useful and productive while he is pottering about at home.
A full role swop is the last resort but we are reluctant to do this as, even full time, I can’t earn enough to meet our current commitments. Also if DH becomes a SAHP now he will not be able to return to his current field. I am expecting to return to work next year once both DCs start school/nursery.
So AIBU to be frustrated with him and kick him up the bum until he gets himself in gear? Or should I try and let him get on with it his way? This issue is getting in the way of our relationship too so I need to get some perspective on it?
Sorry for the massive post and thank you if you made it this far!