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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To wonder why everyone suddenly has a mental health issue?

354 replies

VogueVVague · 30/05/2018 12:51

Dont get me wrong, im not talking about people who have struggled with long term clinical depression, schizophrenia etc.

But it seems like everyone now has some form of mental issue.

Hey, as a teenager and young adult i was a freaking mess, a teenage runaway, drugs, alcohol, confusing feelings, rage, destruction, depression, fear, shyness sometimes, anxiety. Just thought it was a normal part of transitioning.

Now as a fully formed adult some things still make me feel anxious, mny times i do feel unmotivated, depressed on a kind of existential level, sometimes nervous, sometimes not wanting to do something because it involves big gatherings or lots of strangers, which lets face it, can be awkard and uncomfortable for most people.

Isnt that just life and being human?
It feels like i meet so many people who "have" anxiety or borderline or bipolar. Especially teens. Arent they just experiencing adolescence?

Is social media making us believe the normal default is "happy and relaxed", when thats just one setting and humans are actually also designed to be down or nervous sometimes too?

OP posts:
ProzacAndWine · 30/05/2018 16:06

But they did exist, they were just called different

Hysteria, anyone?

CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 16:06

Not read all the thread, but what tangerine said. I think there's more awareness now.
People have always suffered from mental health problems, but I think there's more acceptance/tolerance now (for want of a better word, sorry can't think of a better one right now!)
More people talking about them. Can only be a good thing, I think. That you're not alone and hiding it away,

Ruffian · 30/05/2018 16:07

I agree with your premise OP, I think MH 'issues' and other mental problems such as autism are over diagnosed - both self-diagnosed and by the medical profession and that human experience is much more medicalised. I don't put the blame on social media though, it's a trend that started a long way back and seems more to do with society's awe of the White Coat coupled with the financial greed of drug companies.

I also very much agree with the point made upthread that those who go public about their problems are mostly those less severely affected - this most obvious in the case of celebrities who get a lot of attention when revealing particular mh issues but have managed to build a good career and are often well supported by friends and family. The people I knew in rl - one with schizophrenia one with severe anxiety - lived very difficult, limited, lonely lives (which they chose to end) despite being hugely talented.

VogueVVague · 30/05/2018 16:07

@flourella
Happy birthday in advance! Cake

OP posts:
flourella · 30/05/2018 16:10

Vogue thanks, but just as you posted that I realised that it's only Wednesday, so my birthday isn't tomorrow at all Blush It's the day after.

IrmaFayLear · 30/05/2018 16:20

It is unfortunate that the very good intention to de-stigmatise mental health conditions and to support sufferers has had the side effect of encouraging perfectly well people to self-diagnose themselves with a problem.

I think most people will have suffered from anxiety at some point: who hasn’t had a pounding heart, sweaty palms, rampant diarrhoea on some occasion. Or on many occasions. But that’s not a mental health issue. And who hasn’t felt down, or even a bit hopeless, or very, very sad sometimes. But that is not depression.

I agree that it is galling when people think that saying they have “anxiety” is some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card excusing bad behaviour. I remember a thread quite recently where a poster was told they were BU and were rude and then they wailed that they had anxiety. They may well have anxiety and all the rest, but they were still rude!

Frankly I don’t think i’ve ever met a human who was 100% “normal” 100% of the time, so perhaps everyone on the planet has a mental health issue.

A4710Rider · 30/05/2018 16:24

Hi Banana, thanks for the reply, glad they're working out for you.

DN4GeekinDerby · 30/05/2018 16:24

There have always been diagnosis trends though it seems more in what gets diagnosed over time rather than sudden spikes which does happen but not really as much as just more people openly discussing it or knowing about it. This is true for physical as well as mental health issues.

I've been in and out of therapy since I was 7, and group therapy since 11. I think more kids, particularly adolescents, would benefit from having regular space away from parents and the classroom with a facilitating professional to work through feelings and issues and to make talking through them more normal. I think more discussion and knowledge on mental health, including the range of normal, coping methods and warning signs, would be a good thing. I still use things I learned in therapy 20 years ago.

I think some people do find it hard telling normal range of emotions and discomfort from not normal but in that you'll get both the people who minimize everything and those that blow everything to be horrible. The same happens with physical issues. Not sure how we'd improve that - schools are already overwhelmed with additions just as much parents are overwhelmed - but I think what is done to discuss and teach physical and mental well-being needs tweaking.

Ruffian · 30/05/2018 16:25

Another thing that bugs me on MN in particular is where a poster will report that they, or someone they know, has behaved badly because of a MH problem and posters will pile on to say they have the same problem but they don't behave badly and that mh issues are no excuse for 'being a cunt' etc.

Surely mh issues are very much a reason - not excuse - for behaving in ways that are unacceptable to society, because you can't control your behaviour due to the illness.

crunchymint · 30/05/2018 16:29

At one time people were brought up to think that life would be difficult, with periods of happiness that you should be grateful for. Now people are brought up to think that you can have a happy life. I think the first is for most people, more realistic.
Also those talking about bipolar - it is easier to get diagnosed with now days. I know this. Twenty or thirty years ago you would have to have been hospitalised or at least have had psychosis, to get a diagnosis. People being diagnosed with extreme highs and lows but no hospitalisation or psychosis, used to be diagnosed with hypomania. Hypomania was sometimes a prelude to being diagnosed with bipolar, but not always.
The diagnostic criteria has changed.

Also suicidal thought are not uncommon. Hearing voices is also not uncommon. Neither are automatically a mental health issue.

crunchymint · 30/05/2018 16:33

Ruffian Unless people are psychotic, I do think peoples personality does not change, and still affects how their mental health issue comes out.
So I used to care for a relative with bipolar. He was very careful with money. When people are manic it is common to spend lots and lots of money. I have heard of people buying houses they can not afford. My relative used to go to car boots and buy lots of stuff for small amounts of money - and spend about £10 in total. His thriftiness did not disappear just because he was having a manic episode.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 30/05/2018 16:38

Bananafish, it depends why the doctor has recorded prescribing you antidepressants. Some can be used for other uses such as amitryptaline being used for some pain conditions. So, if you’re prescribed that for Pain or migraines you won’t have a diagnosis of depression on your medical record.

If it’s for actual depression then yes, you’ll have a diagnosis of depression on your medical record. Though some doctors are more specific and will record things like ‘trauma induced stress’ ‘work related stress’ ‘stress following loss’. You’d have to go see your GP to find out.

But as antidepressants are not clinically indicated for use for normal emotional experiences, chances are the doctor will have diagnosed depression to justify prescribing them. They may be used for ‘complicated grief’ but not typical grief.

As for what counts as a diagnosis, basically in the UK only a doctor (including psychiatrists) can medically, legally diagnose a mental health issue. You can go see a therapist who can complete some assessment tools and all they can legally say is that the result indicates you may have depression, they cannot say you have depression or diagnose it and must advise you see a GP if you require a formal diagnosis (which most people don’t). If a therapist tries to suggest they are actually diagnosing you they’re acting unethically or worryingly inept.

To diagnose, most doctors will use similar assessment tools to those used by NHS therapists, though only the former can take this info and produce a formal diagnosis. There are certain commonly used assessment tools for each disorder. For example, to assess GAD they’ll usually use the PSWQ or GAD7, depression is the PHQ7, OCD is the OCI, health anxiety is the HAI, PTSD is the IoE scale. They are blunt instruments, but used in conjunction with assessment and considering the wider situation they can be incredibly useful. They’re also used as there has to be some way of objectively diagnosing someone based on symptoms rather than just guesswork, and as ways of measuring treatment efficacy over time/justifying the cost of offering therapy.

You not considering yourself to be suffering from depression doesn’t mean your doctor agrees, like I say many are way too trigger happy with diagnosing things like depression or anxiety, it’s mind blowing how you can go to the GP, say you feel depressed, fill out the PHQ9 (which is so difficult not to meet the threshold and easily falsified), be prescribed psychoactive drugs with the accompanying side effects and then whatever consequences come from that (increased life insurance policy cost, being able to be signed off work, claiming benefits etc). But most GPs simply just don’t have the time to thoroughly assess and explore these issues in a ten minute appointment.

It’s ridiculous isn’t it Furano, the outcome of the PHQ9? I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t get a result of at least mild to moderate depression. And that’s all it takes for a diagnosis. You can see how people who go to their GP after a bereavement (perhaps just to be signed off for a week or two) or sudden divorce or whatever get diagnosed as depressed, as none of those symptoms are mutually exclusive with sadness/loss/grief.

flourella, I agree, there is clinically no such thing as a nervous breakdown. It’s a colloquial term people use at random for any kind of emotional crisis I find! From as you say, bursting into tears, to acute psychotic or suicidal episodes. It’s a cultural concept not a clinical one.

flowercrow · 30/05/2018 16:41

People with mental health issues who face the world everyday are some of the bravest people I know.
^This.

supersop60 · 30/05/2018 16:47

OP - if you were a teenager now, doing the thing you mention in your first post, people would undoubtedly say you had MH problems/issues/challenges.
I didn't do any of those things. I think I am 'normal'

I haven't RTFT. CBA.

chickydoo · 30/05/2018 16:48
Hmm
summerinrome · 30/05/2018 16:48

I might also add that if you are in a toxic/abusive/dysfunctional family or work set up, it might not be your mental health that is the problem (although this may end up being a symptom).

The root of the problem lies with your environment/others. Mental health problems can stem from living in horrendous conditions and expecting to be able to live like this long term.

The post upthread about adverse childhood etc was very interesting, and can be extended to those also living in DV settings or others that are simply not conducive with healthy mental health balance.

SakuraBlossom · 30/05/2018 16:51

Actually OP I think you have a point.

About 18 years ago when I was in my late 20's I got very distressed as I was living in another country, just got married and was experiencing some very horrible physical symptoms. A few GP's thought I had something very wrong with me and I got very, very distressed and came back to the UK for tests. My Doc said I was depressed and instantly prescribed AD's for me. They were very low dose and I took them for a week and then the doc told me "I'd pulled myself out of it" but take them for 3 months. Because I was given AD's it has always been in my mind that I have MH issues.

A few weeks back, (18 years on) I went to see my GP about other symptoms. She told me to take anti anxiety medicine and go for CBT. My symptoms were a racing heart, night sweats, heavy periods and some anxiety. Again, my GP has made me feel like I have a mental illness. Another, better informed GP has given me a low dose oestrogen for these peri-menopausal symptoms and now I feel fine.

I recently made a joke to my best friend and DH separately that they have to put up with me and my low moods and anxiety. They both laughed in my face and said compared to most people I am very happy, relaxed and chilled out and most definitely do not have a mental illness.

I worry every day that I am someone who needs to take care of my MH because 2 separate doctors instantly jumped to AD's whenever they have spoken to me about feeling low as a result of other symptoms. If doctor A. had told me that it was natural to feel this way and panic if you think you have a terrible disease then perhaps I wouldn't have needed them. The next time I was offered them I was better informed and rejected them.

I wonder how many people have been TOLD they have a MH issue and ended up thinking they have one when another solution or approach may have been better?

IrmaFayLear · 30/05/2018 16:53

I just had a quick google and found multiple questions from people on sites such as MoneysavingExpert, Student Room etc asking how they could present at GP with a mental health issue in order to get signed off work.

I wonder what GPs think and how they identify genuinely ill people if they are faced with exaggerators and even liars every day.

Ariesgirl1988 · 30/05/2018 16:57

@borlottibeans totally agree with you it's definitely not easy to get a diagnosis of bipolar disorder! it took a few years and two nervous breakdowns and a few years of treatment for depression before I was finally referred and diagnosed by a Psychiatrist that I got the actual treatment I needed.

To the person who says some MH disorders are "more glamorous than others" let me just disabuse you of the notion of how "glamorous" bipolar disorder is. You have good days and bad days and sometimes when you have really good days you think you're mad or imagining it. The lack of impulse control i.e. excessive spending, drinking and for some drug use along with other risky behaviour. Hypomanic episodes where you're either hyped up happy or hyped up anxious and can't calm down, the bouts of insomnia being awake for 2 days or more at a time, uncontrollable outbursts of anger at something relatively minor and not being able to control it, feeling completely hopeless, guilty, depressed and anxious and lack of motivation for doing even simple tasks etc.

I could go on but I'd need all night long. And to make it worse unlike celebrities where all the fans admire them more for those of us average Joe's its bloody hard to tell and explain those who don't experience it because they will never be able to relate to you and some are so ignorant they assume we can "just snap out of it". So please tell me exactly how is Bipolar Disorder "glamorous"? its comments like these that make it harder to come out and say it openly without feeling ashamed and judged Hmm. It effects my behaviour in ways no one could ever understand unless you're going through it yourself so calling it "glamorous" shows ignorance do your research before you throw the labels around Hmm

Violet82 · 30/05/2018 16:57

I have gad, my mum says I was born "highly strung", a fussy baby who wouldn't sleep through the night til I was 2, always an over anxious child but I internalised it all. I think it was the stress of exams as a teenager that really triggered things to start spiralling with me. I held it together on the outside til then, but after a family bereavement, toxic relationship and not getting the grades I needed at A level for the uni I wanted, I fell apart and had what was then called by my Dr a nervous breakdown. I had gad, panic attacks and depression diagnosed, I'd never even heard of anxiety as a medical condition til then. When I had my first panic attack I hadn't heard of those either and genuinely thought I was having a heart attack, I begged my parents to call an ambulance!

That was nearly 20 years ago, and with an ssri and counselling I managed to gradually get a lot better, I had a big relapse at one point about 10 years ago, the gad I'd been keeping under control spiralled again, and back came the panic attacks and depression. That was when I was referred for cbt which I found very helpful, it was a bit of an epiphany for me to really look deeper at what was at the root of everything going on in my mind, and at how my brain actually works, it really helped me accept myself and be kinder to myself. I still have a diagnosis of gad, I still take the ssri every day, but my anxiety is manageable these days, sometimes it spirals, sometimes I have really good periods with me feeling "in charge" of it, and I feel grateful for that, I've seen how devastating anxiety can be. For example a family friend is in and out of a psychiatric unit because of severe gad which she's suffered with all her life. She's in her 70's now, she is on incredibly strong medication that sedates her, and after trying to commit suicide her husband and children reluctantly agreed to some controversial treatments, it's been a horrific few years for them and it's now like she's living out her elderly years sedated and not really there, but at least she is actually here is what her family say, having nearly lost her.

So it does grate on me when I hear "having anxiety" used a lot by people who don't actually have a clinical diagnosis. It's definitely used a lot in conversation these days to describe what are often normal levels of stress and emotions in life. Then again, unless someone actually tells you they don't have a diagnosis, how do we know they don't have something like gad? There's a huge spectrum with anxiety like with many conditions, ranging from normal human fight or flight feelings of anxiety, to having consistently raised levels, that can then become problem levels of anxiety, to more and more extreme and devastating anxiety at the other end of the spectrum. We're all different, one person with anxiety is completely separate to the next in their experiences and severity.

I think anxiety has always been a problem, from so called "hysterical" women in Victorian times (what did they refer to the men as?!), to women having "problems with nerves" in my Grandparents day, I'm sure it was often what we now call anxiety disorders and depression now. I can't comment on conditions like bipolar or bpd because I don't feel I have enough knowledge on them, and my personal experience has been with anxiety and depression.

We have a lot more knowledge, education and awareness these days, which can only be a good thing. I honestly don't see how someone could get a medical diagnosis for gad or other anxiety disorders and not really have them, it's a thorough process. Those who self diagnose I do question, I also question for instance why a lady I know constantly posts on FB about anxiety, with pouty night out selfies about being an anxiety warrior, anxiety memes, or a list of how people with anxiety feel on a daily basis. She will post about FB making her anxiety worse and needing to take a break, goodbye for now FB - then a week later she announces her return, its a regular thing. Her posts are always followed by lots of sympathetic comments. She posted an apology for sometimes appearing distracted during a conversation or for sometimes being a crap friend, it's her anxiety. She is the least distracted during a conversation type of person you could imagine, she's the loudest, most opinionated person during a conversation I know. Her posts are often saying sod off anxiety because today she feels blessed to have her beautiful kids and to have lost a few pounds, cue loads of emojis and comments from people saying we love you hun, always here for you hun, looking amaze as always hun. I actually wonder if she's addicted to the likes and comments from people, she only does this on Facebook and doesn't talk about anxiety irl. Anyway, I feel like commenting you have no idea, I think of people I know who can't even have children because of their anxiety disorder, who can't even get ready for a night out let alone actually leave the house to go and then post selfies all night. The other day I realised if I don't like her posts I can just unfollow her, so I did. I think yes there are some people who use anxiety like a kind of badge to gain attention, sympathy, and to try and excuse their bad behaviour towards others. Then the part of my brain that worries about being unfair or unkind to others tells me maybe it's just that this person is an extrovert with anxiety and I'm an introvert with anxiety?! I just don't tend to tell people I don't know well, but we're all different.

Yes I do think modern life and social media culture have made more people have more anxiety and contribute to more anxiety disorders being diagnosed nowadays. I have no idea how to handle all the social media pressures and expectations out there when my children are old enough to start using them.

Uyulala · 30/05/2018 17:02

I was diagnosed with borderline at age 18 after being in therapy since age 11 (for anorexia and self harm). And no, I was not just "experiencing adolescence" - I don't remember many of my teenage friends being sectioned.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 30/05/2018 17:03

It's because the mind is so susceptible to negativity, chemical imbalances and a number of other things.
Ether natural or caused by other things or you have a physical disability and it drains you emotionally (to name a fewer more about the mind and the hormones that control it now.) you wouldn't psychologically be OK.

We also understand a l
So if you're isolated, have had a lot of ridicule, grew up with someone who worry's a lot, have chemical imbalances eh

takeoffyourpantsandjacket · 30/05/2018 17:05

Surely mh issues are very much a reason - not excuse - for behaving in ways that are unacceptable to society, because you can't control your behaviour due to the illness.

Yep- mental illness is defined to an extent by 'abnormality' and abnormality is defined as not conforming to the norms of behaviour, inability to cope with daily life etc. It's therefore going to figure that MH issues are going to make people act in a way that is considered unacceptable like you say. However, people are now saying it is just an excuse, rather than a reason, suggesting that it is feigned as a "get out" clause. There is though, a common misconception that those with MH can just get away with crime. A friend of mine assaulted a police officer during a manic episode (bipolar) and most certainly did not get away with it. Criminal records only make the matter worse though of course.

Ariesgirl1988 · 30/05/2018 17:06

@Violet82 omg you just described exactly what I experienced when my panic attacks started! I thought I was having a heart attack and was so shocked when my GP told me it was a panic attack. I managed to get them under control for years until I had my first breakdown and control went out the window and my anxiety can get that bad I physically puke and shake that sometimes I have to be given light sedatives to get them under control.

flourella · 30/05/2018 17:14

SakuraBlossom I think your experience illustrates what other posters have said about how low the criteria is for "qualifying" for an AD prescription from a GP.

It should be obvious that a lot of things in life - like bereavement, losing a job, concern about physical symptoms - can cause much sadness and/or worry. Unless these issues cause distress that markedly reduces a person's ability to function in the medium term, I'm not sure they should be considered a mental illness. Life isn't easy. Any feelings other than contentment should not have to be medicalised for people to be able to live with or move on from them.

I do wonder how many people are given ADs for having a briefly imperfect life, and therefore consider themselves beset with mental health problems, when a different approach would be more fitting and get to the crux of their problem. This could be harmful to them, and as I've said, I think it does reduce understanding of more serious and entrenched mental illnesses.

But I also suspect that some people do not see a doctor about their distress when a diagnosis and psychiatric treatment would be appropriate and beneficial to them. I think mental illness might be both under- and- overdiagnosed.