Name changed for this just in case it's outing.
Background - myself and dh have been together 3.5y, married just over 1, and have a newborn ds. We met at work a month or so after his previous relationship ended, became friends, started dating a month later and officially became a couple relatively soon after. He has a friend who is slightly older, and this friend has a stepdaughter a couple years younger than dh, same age as me. The stepdaughter was single when I started dating dh, but soon after met a woman and they started dating. She now lives with her girlfriend.
After we first met but just before we started dating, dh's friend suggested he go on a date with his stepdaughter. Dh declined for a few reasons, he says these were respect for his friendship (didn't want to cause issues with his friendship if they dated and anything went wrong), he said he already knew he had feelings for me and wanted to see where that went, and that he got a vibe that she could be very full on and intense, especially if things went wrong. He is friends with her on Facebook from prior to this. (I had noticed that she constantly liked every single post/ picture he put on unless it mentioned me or I was tagged in it. I didn't notice at first, but it started becoming more obvious over time).
After we started dating I met her a few times (not intentionally going out of my way to meet her just due to dh's friend and parties/ visiting them at the same time). Since meeting me, she's tried it on with dh twice that I know of.
The first time was just before we got engaged. She started messaging dh saying that she thought she had made a mistake by dating her girlfriend, and wanted a relationship with a man because she wanted to get married and have children (despite being able to do this with her girlfriend if she wanted). When he said to her that she needed to talk to her girlfriend about how she was feeling as it wasn't appropriate for her to be talking to him, she started saying that she didn't want her girlfriend, she wanted a man and she wanted him, suggesting they meet up etc. He told her that he was with me (which she knew as she had met me multiple times), was very happy and planning on asking me to marry him. She replied saying she was sorry for saying it, and congratulations in advance for the proposal.
I know this because he told me what she was saying about her girlfriend, and later (after we were engaged so as to not spoil it) showed me the messages where she was asking him to meet up.
Thought that was the end of it, so he didn't block her number or delete her off Facebook or anything.
Few months after the wedding, just after we had announced the pregnancy she started messaging him again.
This time, she said the same things about not wanting her girlfriend, wanting him instead etc etc. However this time, she specifically suggested that he book a day off work without telling me, and they go out and book a hotel room for the day to "see what happened". At this point, she knew all about me, we had met multiple times, she knew we were married and she knew I was pregnant.
This time, he told her again that he wasnt interested, she should sort her life out without getting him involved, and if she wanted a relationship with a man instead of her girlfriend that was fair enough, but she should find a single man as he wasn't available, wasnt interested and didn't want to know. He also blocked her number.
This was all quite a few months ago, but it still bothers me because I cant understand why she would try and sleep with my dh.
So, other than wanting a rant, can i ask aibu to:
1-hate her guts and hope to god she is never in the same room as me again
2- really want to tell her girlfriend the kind of person she is so the girlfriend can meet someone who genuinely loves and wants her and isn't trying to sleep with other people
(I probably won't tell her tbh, it isn't my place, and I don't know her girlfriend at all, I just feel awful for her)
Sorry for how long that was, and if you made it to the end thanks haha.