Mothers treating sons differently

[Sergio4]

Do you feel mothers treat sons differently than daughters?

From my experience and experiences of others they do. Sons are giving more leeway not questioned about coming home late as daughters, moms do chores for them, many sons are seen golden children etc...

It seems some Moms don't help their sons causes. Just cause them to be lazy and dependant on their wives or girlfriends in the future.

If posts on here on anything to go on then yes some parents do. But I am not sure many posters are going to say they do. I am more scared when DD is out than DS and treat them differently but that is mainly due to my past.

I always took great pains to treat my son and daughter the same, but I would be lying if I said I didn't worry more about my daughter when she was out and about with friends. The world can be a dangerous place for anyone, but women have always been and will always be more vulnerable targets.

I personally worry for sons as well. Knife crime is mad and most targets are guys. By I agree girls are in danger from rapists, guys cat calling etc...

I'm always worried about my two teenage sons when they are out and about. I read an article recently which said boys aged 16-24 are the highest risk group. I'd really just like to keep them home until they are 25!

I don't have any boys but I have friends who do and they're universally worried about their lads going out and about after dark because muggings and fighting are quite common in the city where we live.

It's always young men we read about in the local paper....being attacked and so forth. Very stressful. One friend is especially worried about her 14 year old because he's such a big gob...and cheeky/confident. She thinks that one day he'll say something to the wrong person and get in trouble.

She's actually more precious over him than over her DD because as she said "DD and her friends always stick together...DS not so much"

I definitely feel my brother was mollycoddled more than my sister and I when we were growing up, and certainly he "gets away" with behaviour that the two of us would receive huge guilt trips over if we were to try, but I'm not sure whether that's a Mother/Son thing or something that's specific to our particular family.

I live overseas now in a culture where I certainly see sons being treated markedly differently to daughters in public in terms of how they are expected to behave, to the extent that I find it quite jaw-dropping shocking sometimes. That's not something I'd say of parenting in the UK generally.

I never had a son, but when I lived in Dublin some twenty odd years ago, I did feel it was much more dangerous for young men than for young women. I unfortunately bought a house in a very bad area and though it was hard for dd growing up there, if I'd had a son I would have had to move because of all the dangers.

I myself had a feminist mother so my brother is much better than I am at housework and cooking.

Agree with posters saying boys are much more at risk of violent attack - mine are too young to go out on their own but I’m dreading the time they can.

Girls are much safer - partly because they stick together.

It’s ironic as this has been the case for many years but my brothers were definitely given more freedom than me despite the stats!

I think it depends on birth order too. I am the eldest and my brother is the youngest (by 12 years). He got away with a lot more, had a lot more freedom and was given a lot more things.

I have boys and I'm now pregnant with a girl. I do worry for my sons in the future because of male on male violence. There is loads of it and the knife crime is out of control.
I think dads are more protective over girls. I would happily confront a man who threatened my son just because his daughter is my son's girlfriend. Some dads go all weird about their daughter having a boyfriend and I won't have some grown man threaten my teenage son.

My parents were incredibly fair in many respects. In fact I would say that they lived vicariously through me in my younger years. Mam always said she was so envious of how bubbly and bold I was. However I was never allowed my boyfriend's to sleep over. From the age of 16/17 when I had my first serious boyfriend, he had to go home at 11 whereas my brother was allowed his girlfriend's to stay, even those who were my age. It always bugged me! We used to argue about it loads! Mam said that she could face the idea of me having sex because I was her youngest. She also hated my boyfriend so that was probably a factor. It always narked me though

My MIL made me smile. She had 4 sons, none of them would do housework, childcare or other "women's work".

I told her that all my sons would be learning and doing the same as my daughters, DIY, laundry, cooking etc. She looked at me, seriously, and said "well, I did teach them all how to knit".

Anyway, the son of hers I married turned out to be a lazy, misogynistic homophobic arse, but at least he could knit

My mother would always do things such as, make my brothers cereal or toast whenever they asked. Even though they're now 19. She wouldn't do the same for me or my sister.

Additionally, if she asked for someone to fetch something/help her with a chore. It was always me or my sister she asked.

Its annoying. I confronted her about it a couple of years ago. She blamed it on growing up in the 70s/80s

Knitting was suggested by DM, but we far preferred to use the yarn as a zipline for Action Man. There were four of us too, but we were brought up not to be burdens. I'm much better at ironing and cooking than DW, but she's a better carpenter, carpet fitter and decorator. I'm an okay plumber though.

I think many mothers do. All those who moan about their husbands or partners being lazy or not able to look after themselves should ask themselves are they creating the same in their son's for a future wife to moan about.

I don't think I ever did, but DH is certainly guilty of over protecting DD. We were talking about it last night actually as DD is moving out with her BF a couple of hours away. He's worrying himself over it much more than when DS left home. He's even got himself wound up over the fact she's considering a bike for commuting because it's not something she's done before. She's almost 21, and a perfectly capable young woman but to DH I guess she's his little girl.

I have gently told him he needs to step back and encourage her that she can do things rather than worry that she can't.

I have an adult son and daughter. It's true that statistically speaking, young men are far more likely to be a victim of crime than young women. Neither of them wanted to go anywhere particularly late until they were old enough to anyway, so freedom wasn't really an issue. They both had the same amount. Housework wise they've both been brought up to do washing, cooking etc. So I don't feel there is any way in which I've treated them particularly differently.

I always felt my brother got away with/was allowed to do stuff that I wasn't, but on reflection, I think it was because he is younger rather than because he is a boy.

Things like going into town on his own to meet friends - I wasn't allowed until I was about 13, and often had to have a lift in and out so my time was restricted. My brother would be allowed to catch the bus in from the age of 11 and as long as he was home by a certain time, it didn't matter what time he was home (if you see what I mean).

My mum says that this is because she saw me doing it and allowed him to do it at the same time - so I was 13/14 and allowed to take the bus, I was ok so he was allowed, although he was 3 years younger.

He was mugged three times while school age though, once with a knife, but that again I don't think had anything to do with being a boy - he unfortunately came across as a bit soppy and daft and was an easy target. He had some money stolen and was roughed up when he was about 15, another time he had his flute stolen and another time was beaten up on the bus. I never had anything like that, but then I was a bit of a football fanatic and had a level of respect from the boys at school, even though they were all dicks and supported the wrong team...

I don't think him being a boy specifically had anything to do with it, although perhaps being a bit of a "girly" boy (for want of a better word, I don't quite know what the right word is) meant he was an easy target.