Decided to post on here as get the impression from a few threads that a fair few people on here are in a similar position to us.
Basically my MIL has narcissistic personality disorder and without going into all the details about six years ago my DH and SIL decided to go no contact. She is an incredibly toxic, manipulative person who brought them both (and myself) a lot of pain so we are confident that this is the right decision.
My worry is how we explain this to our kids. Our eldest knew them until he was just over a year so really has no memory of them, and our youngest has never met them. I always thought I would just find a way to explain it when they asked about them but they have never asked. My DS is now nearly 8 and I feel like omission is starting to turn into lying and that we need to tell them. I just don't know what to say. Despite all the pain, I am reluctant to paint them in a dreadful light. I believe kids should be protected from as much of the adult politics as possible without being put in the middle. I also don't know if the NC will be forever, it certainly seems that it will be but you never know. It seems my DH family so that decision would really be his. I don't want to play her games by slating her but at the same time feel my kids need a litttle awareness of what she is like in the event they decide to make contact themselves (although this is obviously some time off as they are still young). I can't just say that we just don't see them as the kids won't buy that for any length of time.
So I guess I'm looking for advice on what others have said. Have you had to explain NC with a close family member to your kids or have you been a child and had it explained to you? Anyone had it dealt with in a way that they felt wasn't right? I'm probably over thinking it but I find the whole thing very sad and hate that we've had to make this decision for our kids and want to try and deal with it as well as possible.